Useless angst.
Living hurts.
Most often, it hurts enough to make it seem not worth it.
I've been lonely, abandoned because basically I'm a piece of shit who is too depressed to be worth saving. Entire days have passed where people have not bothered to come near me, much less talk to me. It might be getting better but it's just another smack to the face when there's no one interested in relieving on the weekend either. Not the people who I've known for years.
I keep telling myself that it's just teenager-ness, that things will get better with age. I feel ashamed even posting these things here because it sounds so juvenile out in the air.
But kicks in the teeth, like the essay about rape culture that I tried very hard on and was triggered by but still did- got 55%. Things like that are the final straw that make everything feel worthless.
I don't want to live like that but things haven't been changing much.
Most often, it hurts enough to make it seem not worth it.
I've been lonely, abandoned because basically I'm a piece of shit who is too depressed to be worth saving. Entire days have passed where people have not bothered to come near me, much less talk to me. It might be getting better but it's just another smack to the face when there's no one interested in relieving on the weekend either. Not the people who I've known for years.
I keep telling myself that it's just teenager-ness, that things will get better with age. I feel ashamed even posting these things here because it sounds so juvenile out in the air.
But kicks in the teeth, like the essay about rape culture that I tried very hard on and was triggered by but still did- got 55%. Things like that are the final straw that make everything feel worthless.
I don't want to live like that but things haven't been changing much.