wow - i'm just F@#$ed up
I have been SO busy this past two weeks. I worked a 75 hour work week last week, I only worked like 50 hours this past week. so 2 weeks, 125 hours - no overtime - yea i should have a comp week - we dont do that though. But my boss thinks i'm competent and i like that. I like that he no longer looks at me and thinks i'm here to take up space b/c i'm not. i was a little insulted that he thought that - but i can see where he was coming from - i mean some days you just want to leave when your shift is over and just forget work. It'd be nice if it were possible. Yea. THe other manager in my store is not shining so well - and i cant help her out with that side of work bc i'm so busy on my side. Besides unfortunately thats why we have supervisors, but i've now opened myself up to help in anyway necessary for the supervisor so she doesnt seem overwhelmed. My key holder is feeling a lil picked on like it s the "black girl" routine. Who was wrong? the black girl. I dont think thats right, but what can you do? I dont know how to fix it since its more of a racial feeling on her point there- i dont see it but maybe i'm stupid? i didnt think so but who knows.
SO my life has been constant work, well mostly. There has been some new drama - a new guy - but not really - new to the things we've started considering doing - and no its not joe - but its the same situation. Apparently i dont mind being the other woman. I think i need to figure out that part of my life - before things progress with this guy. I know his girlfriend, thats why i know i should feel guilty - things have only happened once (no we did not sleep together)so there is still time to stop it and stay friends instead of "More". I guess ultimately the ball is in my court and me being lonely just makes me want to fill my life. I have friends, i have things to do with my time - mostly work i know, but yea i dunno. i've been revisiting this line of thinking for the past two days - we'll see what i come up with.
i still haven't talked to my one friend. Its mostly bc i was too busy the past 2 weeks and now its kinda like ... well its been this long... is it too long to make that connection again? i dont know.
I'm questioning my choices in almost everything right now. I'm a bit confused with my life. Won't it be fun to see how it all turns out? i know!
SO my life has been constant work, well mostly. There has been some new drama - a new guy - but not really - new to the things we've started considering doing - and no its not joe - but its the same situation. Apparently i dont mind being the other woman. I think i need to figure out that part of my life - before things progress with this guy. I know his girlfriend, thats why i know i should feel guilty - things have only happened once (no we did not sleep together)so there is still time to stop it and stay friends instead of "More". I guess ultimately the ball is in my court and me being lonely just makes me want to fill my life. I have friends, i have things to do with my time - mostly work i know, but yea i dunno. i've been revisiting this line of thinking for the past two days - we'll see what i come up with.
i still haven't talked to my one friend. Its mostly bc i was too busy the past 2 weeks and now its kinda like ... well its been this long... is it too long to make that connection again? i dont know.
I'm questioning my choices in almost everything right now. I'm a bit confused with my life. Won't it be fun to see how it all turns out? i know!