Conversation With The Voice
Me (in a whining tone): I had to take a day off work yesterday to clean up the flooded basement. It was disgusting and horrible!
The Voice: You had to take a day off work? So you have a job? There are a lot of people who wish they had jobs.
Me: I have a great job -- challenging, interesting, flexible.
But I wasted a whole day of PTO and it sucked!
The Voice: Your job includes paid time off? You get paid for working even on some days that you don't work at all? There are a lot of jobs that don't include benefits like paid time off.
Me: I get very generous benefits. I'm even allowed to work from home part of the time.
But I spent FIVE hours cleaning up water all over the finished basement. We spent all that money to finish the basement so my mother-in-law would have her own apartment down there, and it was a horrible mess. It was gross.
The Voice: You have a house that's big enough for your mother-in-law to have her own apartment? There are families that live in one or two rooms--parents, children, grandchildren, all together.
Me: Actually we have a huge, beautiful house. But it took FOREVER to vacuum up the water. We had to empty the shop vac every couple of minutes because it only holds a gallon.
The Voice: You have a vacuum that can suck up a gallon of water from the floor in just a couple of minutes? That's very useful for cleaning up a flooded basement.
Me: Oh, we have a shop vac, a regular vacuum cleaner, and a tiny one. We pay someone to come clean our house every other week, so we don't use them very often.
But it took me FOREVER to figure out how to use the shop vac. First, the top was on backwards and the filter needed to be removed; then it needed the water attachment; then the attachment had to be cleaned. I called my husband about eight times for help!
The Voice: You have a mobile phone and can call your husband and get help over the phone? That's an amazing device.
Me: Well, we have three regular phones and five cell phones in our house. But it was five hours before he came home from work and finished vacuuming up the water.
The Voice: So your husband not only answered your questions over the phone, he came home and helped clean up as soon as he could get away from work? Not only do you have a husband, he has a job AND he helps around the house.
Me: All my friends think my husband is terrific. We've been married for 26 years, and he's always helped around the house and with all three of our kids.
You don't understand! It was a horrible mess! There was rabbit poop mixed with water everywhere. I had to sweep up disgusting wet rabbit poop from my mother-in-law's pet rabbit.
The Voice: There's a rabbit in the house? You can afford to feed an animal that doesn't provide food or clothing for your family?
Me: Oh, we have lots of pets--two dogs, a rabbit, a temporary parrot. We used to have cats and birds too.
You're not listening to me! There was laundry all over the floor too, and it got wet and has to be washed again. It was the stupid washing machine that flooded the basement in the first place.
The Voice: I am listening. No one in your house can wash clothes because the washing machine broke.
Me: Oh no, that's not it. The washing machine is fine. The hose that drains into the sink popped out. My husband clamped it into place, so it won't happen again. We have another washer and dryer upstairs anyway.
The Voice: There must have been a lot of damage. How much work are you looking at?
Me: Well, it will take a few days to get caught up on laundry, but my mother-in-law does her own laundry. I did have to wash an extra load of towels yesterday because I used them to dry the floor.
The Voice: I see.
#FirstWorldProblems
The Voice: You had to take a day off work? So you have a job? There are a lot of people who wish they had jobs.
Me: I have a great job -- challenging, interesting, flexible.
But I wasted a whole day of PTO and it sucked!
The Voice: Your job includes paid time off? You get paid for working even on some days that you don't work at all? There are a lot of jobs that don't include benefits like paid time off.
Me: I get very generous benefits. I'm even allowed to work from home part of the time.
But I spent FIVE hours cleaning up water all over the finished basement. We spent all that money to finish the basement so my mother-in-law would have her own apartment down there, and it was a horrible mess. It was gross.
The Voice: You have a house that's big enough for your mother-in-law to have her own apartment? There are families that live in one or two rooms--parents, children, grandchildren, all together.
Me: Actually we have a huge, beautiful house. But it took FOREVER to vacuum up the water. We had to empty the shop vac every couple of minutes because it only holds a gallon.
The Voice: You have a vacuum that can suck up a gallon of water from the floor in just a couple of minutes? That's very useful for cleaning up a flooded basement.
Me: Oh, we have a shop vac, a regular vacuum cleaner, and a tiny one. We pay someone to come clean our house every other week, so we don't use them very often.
But it took me FOREVER to figure out how to use the shop vac. First, the top was on backwards and the filter needed to be removed; then it needed the water attachment; then the attachment had to be cleaned. I called my husband about eight times for help!
The Voice: You have a mobile phone and can call your husband and get help over the phone? That's an amazing device.
Me: Well, we have three regular phones and five cell phones in our house. But it was five hours before he came home from work and finished vacuuming up the water.
The Voice: So your husband not only answered your questions over the phone, he came home and helped clean up as soon as he could get away from work? Not only do you have a husband, he has a job AND he helps around the house.
Me: All my friends think my husband is terrific. We've been married for 26 years, and he's always helped around the house and with all three of our kids.
You don't understand! It was a horrible mess! There was rabbit poop mixed with water everywhere. I had to sweep up disgusting wet rabbit poop from my mother-in-law's pet rabbit.
The Voice: There's a rabbit in the house? You can afford to feed an animal that doesn't provide food or clothing for your family?
Me: Oh, we have lots of pets--two dogs, a rabbit, a temporary parrot. We used to have cats and birds too.
You're not listening to me! There was laundry all over the floor too, and it got wet and has to be washed again. It was the stupid washing machine that flooded the basement in the first place.
The Voice: I am listening. No one in your house can wash clothes because the washing machine broke.
Me: Oh no, that's not it. The washing machine is fine. The hose that drains into the sink popped out. My husband clamped it into place, so it won't happen again. We have another washer and dryer upstairs anyway.
The Voice: There must have been a lot of damage. How much work are you looking at?
Me: Well, it will take a few days to get caught up on laundry, but my mother-in-law does her own laundry. I did have to wash an extra load of towels yesterday because I used them to dry the floor.
The Voice: I see.
#FirstWorldProblems