Dear Lauren,
This is the hardest week since last year, there are just to many amazing memories crammed into the next few days, even the morning of. I find myself getting upset and hating you.Sometimes i feel as though i wasnt even dating a real person but rather a girl controlled by the fear of her parents, the fear of never being something, of growing up to be nothing like her father. You had so many layers i cant even count how many Laurens i endured while knowing you. you were always scared of someone being better then you, in my eyes no body ever was. in most peoples eyes you were so unique and extrodinary. even when u were the biggest bitch i have ever come across...it took time but id come right back down to falling back in love w you. cuz u were aware when u hurt people and took pride in how well u did it.....until u looked at them n saw how deep u could hurt...n then i believe thats when i mostly saw YOU...the real you...the girl who was filled with unbelievable compliments. i never had been w someone who made me so proud of who i was until i met you. you made me have self esteem to the point where for a while after u were gone i was considered confident and even sometimes cocky...i lost that now. i wish you could see all the differences u made to everyone other then ur family...i wish they werent so important to you...i wish ur mom answered ur text that day and called u like you asked...i wish i saw through ur manipulating trick texts that morning n came home. but even when i had the bad gut feeling it would of been to late. im one the few people who have a good last memory of you...the last week u were alive is one of my favorite of us of the whole time we were together...even the morning of...n i hate you for it. i met a lauren no one else on this earth met. n i can prove it by the letters u wrote me. but if any of it were true ud still be here.
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