A day in my sucky life.
Im great at hiding what I am thinking and feeling. I let out only what I want you to know. Isn't that horrible? I am so into helping others with their emotional anxiety that I ignore my own.
I'm in a downward spiral with no forseable bottom. I feel like I have been broken into 1,000 tiny pieces and all the kings horses and all the kings men could never put me together again. There are so many things wrong right now I can even begin to list them all.
It makes it worse that most of my friends are really happy now and the LAST thing I want to do is spoil their good mood, with my sad one. How can I go to one of them all happy and say. Im sorry, I just can't laugh with you. How can you say that the things that make people laugh just want to make me cry right now. You can't. I just can't do that to them.
There are so many things I need to do. I just don't think Im strong enough. You;d think that being 25 I could handle all sorts of adult responsibilities, but not so. I can't even get myself to do the dishes. My apartment is a wreck! I have no motivation. I almost feel like saying "why bother" to a good portion of the things in my daily life. None of it seems to be getting me where I want to go.
Im 25 no boyfriend, barely able to keep my checkbook balances, unable to curb my spending habits to my paycheck, unable to break horrible eating patterns, usually in some kind of pain-back, neck, knee, ankle, right arm (tendon) Most of those related to my weight. I have no motivation to eat right or to excersise. I want to, I really do but i look at the gym building and keep driving by and saying "tomorrow".
I seriously just don't know what to do right now. Anyone with even an ounce of help, find me. I think I'm Lost.
I'm in a downward spiral with no forseable bottom. I feel like I have been broken into 1,000 tiny pieces and all the kings horses and all the kings men could never put me together again. There are so many things wrong right now I can even begin to list them all.
It makes it worse that most of my friends are really happy now and the LAST thing I want to do is spoil their good mood, with my sad one. How can I go to one of them all happy and say. Im sorry, I just can't laugh with you. How can you say that the things that make people laugh just want to make me cry right now. You can't. I just can't do that to them.
There are so many things I need to do. I just don't think Im strong enough. You;d think that being 25 I could handle all sorts of adult responsibilities, but not so. I can't even get myself to do the dishes. My apartment is a wreck! I have no motivation. I almost feel like saying "why bother" to a good portion of the things in my daily life. None of it seems to be getting me where I want to go.
Im 25 no boyfriend, barely able to keep my checkbook balances, unable to curb my spending habits to my paycheck, unable to break horrible eating patterns, usually in some kind of pain-back, neck, knee, ankle, right arm (tendon) Most of those related to my weight. I have no motivation to eat right or to excersise. I want to, I really do but i look at the gym building and keep driving by and saying "tomorrow".
I seriously just don't know what to do right now. Anyone with even an ounce of help, find me. I think I'm Lost.