i found this
and i really really liked it.
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OOPS! You're a bigot.
People are offended by the idea that their actions spread messages of hate. In my post yesterday, I suggested people take into consideration what messages they were conveying by using words such as "pussy" or "faggot" to denote having a problem with a certain person's actions or tendencies. If we were to believe what the users of these words would have us believe, it's not the specific words that matter, as words are simply the vehicle used as communication between humans, and it's really the intent that's important. As such, I should be allowed to call anyone I meet who I am annoyed with a faggot, or a nigger, or a jap, or a kike, or a spic. Right?
I'm sorry, but I cannot agree with that. Maybe there's something wrong with me, maybe I'm oversensitive, maybe I'm just a P.C. fascist, but I cannot find it within me to hear these terms thrown around carelessly without assuming the people using them have some accountability for the ever dumbing-down of America.
I would like to quote a few people who took issue with my suggestion that perhaps we think about the words we use and ask ourselves why we chose to use them in the first place:
pyrotechnick13 wrote:
...[using words like "gay" and "faggot" in the workplace] was just so funny that we started using those words to make fun of the people who use them seriously. We are all bad people who say "faggot" like every other word now.
angstxboy wrote:
I call people fags too, myself included, I'm not sorry. My goal is to divorce the term from it's homophobic connotations; if I were actually homosexual, I'd have every right in the fucking world... Whether or not you're actually a peter puffer, if you have to deal with that shit, if you have guys threatening to kick your ass because they think you're a faggot, you're bearing the same burden as actual homosexuals.
Every time I've ever written about gender issues or social prejudices, be it here or on Nothing Nice to Say or on message boards, I am always taken to task by --ahem-- straight white men who see no problem with using language that maliciously attacks oppressed minorities while simultaneously maliciously attacking whoever else the statement was aimed at.
Why is it always heterosexual white men who find terms synonymous with racism/sexism/heterosexism totally acceptable when their intent is, in some way, pure? If they don't personally and actively harbor feelings of hatred toward racial minorities, women, or homosexuals, then why should it be wrong for them to call someone a "faggot" for acting outside their prescribed gender role?
[NOTE: My entire diatribe about how my issues weren't necessarily with language as much as they were with gender roles was completely overlooked by my critics, which bothers me, as that was mostly my point in the first place.]
Again, allow me to reiterate the entire point of my post yesterday:
Society has an idea of what a man is. Society has an idea of what a woman is. Neither of those definitions are accurate, and both of those definitions lead to hateful accusations against those people who act outside said definitions. I think that, on some level, this is very harmful to our society, and that perhaps we should take a look at what those problems are and try to resolve them, eh?
EH? Does that sound insane? Because that was all I was trying to say.
My reference to language was simply an illustration of how frequently all of us - regardless of gender or sexuality - still allow those societal constructs to dictate our course of thought. My issue is not with the word "faggot". It's just a word, it only means what we allow it to mean. My issue is with the intent behind saying such a word. Even when you're not attacking actual homosexuals, what is it you're trying to say when using the word? What EXACTLY is the message you're trying to convey by using the word?
To quote myself from yesterday:
What allegiance do these people owe to the word “pussy”? What allegiance is owed to the word “gay”, which, when used as an insult to things believed to be stupid or dysfunctional, could easily be swapped for just about any other word that gets the point across without suggesting that there’s something wrong with people who desire a romantic or sexual draw towards persons of their same gender?
Even in the people who disagreed with what I had to hypothesize, this issue was not clearly adressed. Why do you use the words? What do they mean to you? Why do you think it's okay to use them? Furthermore, as an unoppressed white male, as the person at the top of the societal food chain, as someone with the privilege and the capacity to instigate and enforce change, why have you taken it upon yourself to align yourself with hateful language rather than try to put a stop to intolerance and bigotry? Why have you seen fit to use your time and energy to propagate, be it intentionally or not, language which is hurtful, demeaning, and destructive to THE OPPRESSED? Do you think there's perhaps something more constructive you could be doing with your time on Earth, or are you really just that vehemently pro partying and getting everyone around you to lighten up?
I don't know how many gay people read my journal, but I'd like to hear from you now. How do you feel about stuff like this? How do you react when you overhear straight people refer to something as "gay" or someone as a "faggot" when the intention is not to directly demean homosexuals? Do you think there's a responsibility amongst open-minded non-heterosexist men and women to refrain from making homosexual terms synonamous with the negative? Do you think perhaps I'm just overreacting, and that causing the word "fag" to refer almost exclusively to dislikeable people is perfectly acceptable, possibly benificial, to all of society?
Here's a theory I've heard. I hated it at first, I thought it was offensive and wrong, but I ultimately decided I liked it (I'll put it in bold just so everyone scrolling through catches it):
Every man is sexist. Every single one.
Every white person is racist.
Every straight person is heterosexist/homophobic.
The reasoning behind this is simple, and relays somewhat to the Treadmill Theory I mentioned yesterday: Our society is built upon strict doctrines of racism, sexism, and heterosexism. Most, if not all racial minorities, women, and homosexuals will be able to relay that to you quite clearly. We live in an intolerant society, and that is that.
Now, as a white person, you are allotted privileges that blacks or Mexicans or Somalis or other racial minorities in America are not. You have an advantage they don't, and that is embedded directly in the pigment of your skin. It's a theory called "White Privilege".
Same goes for men. You have a leg up on women because our society is sexist. Straight people have an inherant advantage over homosexuals, because our society is largely heterosexist and/or homophobic.
Now, even if you don't consider yourself to be racist or sexist or heterosexist, if you benefit from a system that is built upon racism, sexism, and heterosexism, then you might as well be all three. If you live within and benefit from a system of bigotry, what is is that draws you apart from the rest of the bigots? Sure, you may not be actively fighting to encourage intolerance, but you're not doing anything to stop it either, are you?
This is the Treadmill Theory. Are you walking against the treadmill? When you call someone a faggot, are you walking against the treadmill? Are you striding towards making society a less discriminatory place? Are you doing anything with the privileges you've been given as a white person, as a man, as a heterosexual to make life even a tiny bit less difficult for people who don't have that privilege?
Oops! You're a bigot.
Maybe you should try putting more energy into being more considerate for the rest of the world and less into justifying your bigotry. Maybe you should open your fucking eyes and realize that claiming to "divorce the term from it's homophobic connotations" is just something you tell yourself you're accomplishing to rationalize the fact that you are a bigot.
Again, I don't have all the answers, I'm just putting ideas out there. You guys can do with them as you please.