8. The History of Your Loves and Hates -and- 9. The Meaning of Your Life and Aspirations
8. The History of Your Loves and Hates
This section is about attachment and passion to persons, places, or things.
When I was a child, I was obsessed with fairy tales, sci fiction, and anything fantastical beyond reality. Mermaids, “Star Wars” and others things of that nature fascinated me. These interests have followed me into adulthood, and I still am very much a fan of science fiction.
Most of my fondest memories growing up are connected to Camp Goodtimes, a camp sponsored by the American Cancer Society designed for children who were currently or formerly cancer patients. I would look forward to the one week a year where I would be surrounded by kids who understood what I went through and it wasn't treated as anything out of the ordinary. The entire atmosphere was one of love and support for one another, and the staff, doctors and nurses at the camp were there to make things as silly, exciting, and as fun as possible. I made many lifetime friends at camp, and I had the ability one year to be a counselor myself and return the favor to other kids who were going through what I went through. I still dream of going back some day and being able to counsel again. It has been difficult with my job and schooling to be able to do so.
My greatest passion in life is to travel. I was allowed to go on a trip to Western Europe when I was 13 year old, and again to the British Isles when I was 17, and ever since then I have wanted nothing more in life to be able to travel every place there is to see and to taste the food, see the history and culture, and meet the people. It motivates many of the decisions in my life and when I spend too long of a time in one spot without traveling to somewhere new, I become very discontent.
Love has always been something that I wanted very badly since I was a child. Perhaps that is why Disney movies appealed to me so much when I was a little girl. The princess was rescued and the prince was so in love with her that he faced many dangers just to be near her side. When I grew up and became very self-conscious and insecure, I was convinced that no one wanted me in the way a prince did a princess. I became very familiar with unrequited love in high school and lived a very rich fantasy life.
I also was familiar with the downsides of love as well. Many of my family members have experienced heartbreak and relationship problems, and I was able to observe and redefine what love meant to me without having to make many mistakes myself. When it came to love, I lived vicariously.
By the time I met my future husband, I felt I had a fairly realistic idea of what love was. Love was an action, not just a feeling, because feelings can come and go and mislead you. Feelings alone lead people to cheat and hurt others. I was determined show my love through not only emotion, but also in words and action. I had to remind myself that even in days when I didn't feel like I was being loved, that I needed to make a conscious decision to love back regardless. This has suited me very well in my marriage, I would like to think that my marriage has been a very happy one throughout our four years together.
Many things get on my nerves. I hate heights. I can appreciate them as beautiful, but I always have the constant feeling like the ground in going to go out from underneath me. For the same reason, I hate deep water Because of my dislike for germs, I also dislike emergency rooms, outhouses, and anywhere someone unhygienic or sick might have been.
I think my greatest hate is that of ignorance and hypocrisy. So many people argue one side of the argument while either refusing to listen to the other side or belittle it. I like to know both sides of an issue before I make a decision about it. Some people don't want to educated on the matter altogether. After traveling and coming in contact with other cultures and mindsets, it infuriates me that many Americans don't make an effort to understand anything about people outside of our own country.
Another hate of mine is seeing a child who is constantly put down or ignored by their parents. Perhaps I feel this way because I feel like I was treated more like an annoyance or something that needed constant improvement when I was growing up. Children ought to be built up and encouraged, as well as disciplined, out of love and concern. What especially makes me angry are rich people or distracted people who have children and then pass them off to someone else to raise them. Nannies and churches should not be babysitters. If you have a child and then don't want to actually raise your child, then you shouldn't have children. Period.
I have hated several people in my lifetime, but I don't think that I have ever hated anyone enough to wish that they were dead. That's a terrible thing to wish. I had a bully when I was 13 who teased me because I was dork and didn't wear makeup. She took advantage of my trust and my gullibility several times in middle school and I hated her very much back then. About five years ago, it was announced in the newspaper that her car passed into the opposite lane and she was crushed by a semi-truck. It was a bit of a shock to read that she died, and I told my friend about it, who was also teased by her. Her response was different than mine. She simply smirked and said “Good.” I promised myself that I wouldn't be so callous that I would wish someone dead.
9. The Meaning of Your Life and History of Your Aspirations and Life Goals
Values, personal mission statements, goals and dreams are applicable to describe here.
I don't desire to have a lot of material things, and I can be fairly happy with modest possessions. What I really want out of life is to be someone who pleases God and to have the unhindered ability to learn and experience new places. I am not a naturally spiritual person, but I feel closest to God when I am able to experience how complex, strange and beautiful life is, and I find that in the variety of the world's culture, art, nature, and people.
To put this in more tangible terms, my main goals in life are to travel the world, learn as much as my heart desires, have children and raise them to know they are loved and supported, to find a career that feeds off of my strengths, and to love my husband to the best of my ability.
The largest motivators in my life is to live a life of knowledge, understanding, and love. I want to get to know people and understand where they come from in every context. I want to have a better understanding of how the world works and how everything interacts with everything else. I want to love people to the best of my ability and know that people have been changed as a result of that love. I believe that if people would simply be open to learn and to love others regardless of their circumstances, the anger and fear that is caused by mis-communication and misinformation would greatly disappear. I am aware, however, that this may not be a possible goal in this world, as I am very aware of the Ecclesiastical concept that “there is nothing new under the sun.” It is very wearying and humbling to remember this. My greatest hope is that I would see the world perfected on the New Earth.