{Xantha} Rivers of tears
My throat is raw. . .one scream that tore the world for me - so many followed….I feel my face, puffy and swollen with my tears as the thought rings thru my head yet again, alone…again I am alone. . . . He knew, planned to leave me alone. . . Married me, tried to give me a few moments of happiness and have a few last moments himself - but he knew the clock was ticking, and then made me a widow. I knew it was ticking too, though I denied it, to his face even when he tried to tell me that he didn’t think he would come back - why didn’t he just say it?
Now what? Shout offered to take us in, Gwen…mine now. I suppose Ill take the offer - it seemed sincere - and part of his freehold looks the way he thinks we need. But all I see is black, and darkness. I wish it would turn black - or at least my room, a reflection of my heart now.
Pops left me. . .Erik left me . . .He made arrangements to take care of us. I understand why he did it. For everyone - for me, and for Gwen, so we would not have to live with the threat of darkness everywhere. Why do I not feel comforted by that? Why do I feel so lost, standing at the door to the Works, looking back and fourth between that and the garage next door that he bought for me? I walk in, and try desperately not to look at the furnace, now cold, but it draws my attention anyway, and I struggle to maintain some measure of composure and walk past it, failing miserably as the tears start falling again, only vaguely aware of Shane following me around, as he has been since . . . since . .God! how long will it take me this time? Pops death nearly destroyed me … I sigh as I feel the familiar pang of hunger, and ignore it, nothing is appetizing to me
Now what? Shout offered to take us in, Gwen…mine now. I suppose Ill take the offer - it seemed sincere - and part of his freehold looks the way he thinks we need. But all I see is black, and darkness. I wish it would turn black - or at least my room, a reflection of my heart now.
Pops left me. . .Erik left me . . .He made arrangements to take care of us. I understand why he did it. For everyone - for me, and for Gwen, so we would not have to live with the threat of darkness everywhere. Why do I not feel comforted by that? Why do I feel so lost, standing at the door to the Works, looking back and fourth between that and the garage next door that he bought for me? I walk in, and try desperately not to look at the furnace, now cold, but it draws my attention anyway, and I struggle to maintain some measure of composure and walk past it, failing miserably as the tears start falling again, only vaguely aware of Shane following me around, as he has been since . . . since . .God! how long will it take me this time? Pops death nearly destroyed me … I sigh as I feel the familiar pang of hunger, and ignore it, nothing is appetizing to me