{Xantha} turmoil
No personal investments. He warned me before anything ever even started that he was looking for someone - someone that he loved. He warned me that it would primarily be a physical relationship. And I accepted it. What a furking fool I am - to think that I could live with that. The more time goes by, the more attached I find myself getting. It was easy at first - a hot fling maybe. But it’s not like it was a one night stand. He stays around. Have his thoughts changed or does he want to maintain physical only?
I got really jealous when I found out about what happened in Rome. His words of wanting to be himself now, not what he was in the past brought me little comfort. Obviously she still has pull with him; you just have to look at that last statue to see that. So where do I stand? Somewhere convenient? Her engagement brings little comfort, though she told me not to concern myself with it. Not that I think she would do it, but how many nobles court others, in broad daylight even, while they are engaged, or worse married?
The childling called me Uncle Mommy, associating me with him in her mind. Sounded like a more permanent title too. I think that might be when I realized that at least for me, this had moved past a mere physical relationship. But how to approach it? Or do I leave it alone? Would he have a nocker, an imperfect craftswoman - a grease monkey at his side if he knew how I felt? Erik!
I got really jealous when I found out about what happened in Rome. His words of wanting to be himself now, not what he was in the past brought me little comfort. Obviously she still has pull with him; you just have to look at that last statue to see that. So where do I stand? Somewhere convenient? Her engagement brings little comfort, though she told me not to concern myself with it. Not that I think she would do it, but how many nobles court others, in broad daylight even, while they are engaged, or worse married?
The childling called me Uncle Mommy, associating me with him in her mind. Sounded like a more permanent title too. I think that might be when I realized that at least for me, this had moved past a mere physical relationship. But how to approach it? Or do I leave it alone? Would he have a nocker, an imperfect craftswoman - a grease monkey at his side if he knew how I felt? Erik!