Attachment is a plague
In reviewing my life, and those in my life, I have found that attachment within my relationships has lead to little happiness, but indeed plenty of misery. Attachment from any party in a relationship will lead to misery in the end because invariable one will be more attached than the other, or codependencies will develop between the two.
Non-attachment is such a difficult task for Americans because it is so inbred into the culture. Be with one, not that one, but if that one does this, then you should do that because it really means this or that, unless they do that or this, which means this or that... I know this to be true because I saw it on TV.
And then... I shunned television, and I started to think instead.
I want to be with those when they want to be with me. I want to be there for those who want me to be there for them. If someone does not want my assistance, there is no point in forcing it. If someone does not feel the same way for me, why should I try to convince them otherwise? Why should I try to be something I am not? Why should I not be me? Why should they not be themselves? Why should we be we, when we are just you and me?
This is who I have been... the one who failed to realize these things. I am trying to come to terms with this and to be happy with myself... because if I cannot love myself, I cannot love another either. I will not be happy with another until I am happy with myself... and I am getting so close!
A partnership is an equal engagement of individuals. One should not have any more choice than another in a relationship. A power struggle is a waste of energy that leads to nothing but misery. Happiness begets happiness, and pain begets pain. Life is a cycle and all things build upon the past, much like a tree growing up and down from the center. To strength the center is to strengthen the whole.
I will not apology to anyone for who I love, and I will not allow anyone to shame me in the same way. Ask me who I love, and the list will be quite long... and it grows every day.
Be first yourself, and then with yourself, and then you can safely venture out into the world.
It has taken a long time and a lot of contemplation to get to this point. I am realizing that the next step is to stop thinking, and to just be, and nothing more.
Non-attachment is such a difficult task for Americans because it is so inbred into the culture. Be with one, not that one, but if that one does this, then you should do that because it really means this or that, unless they do that or this, which means this or that... I know this to be true because I saw it on TV.
And then... I shunned television, and I started to think instead.
I want to be with those when they want to be with me. I want to be there for those who want me to be there for them. If someone does not want my assistance, there is no point in forcing it. If someone does not feel the same way for me, why should I try to convince them otherwise? Why should I try to be something I am not? Why should I not be me? Why should they not be themselves? Why should we be we, when we are just you and me?
This is who I have been... the one who failed to realize these things. I am trying to come to terms with this and to be happy with myself... because if I cannot love myself, I cannot love another either. I will not be happy with another until I am happy with myself... and I am getting so close!
A partnership is an equal engagement of individuals. One should not have any more choice than another in a relationship. A power struggle is a waste of energy that leads to nothing but misery. Happiness begets happiness, and pain begets pain. Life is a cycle and all things build upon the past, much like a tree growing up and down from the center. To strength the center is to strengthen the whole.
I will not apology to anyone for who I love, and I will not allow anyone to shame me in the same way. Ask me who I love, and the list will be quite long... and it grows every day.
Be first yourself, and then with yourself, and then you can safely venture out into the world.
It has taken a long time and a lot of contemplation to get to this point. I am realizing that the next step is to stop thinking, and to just be, and nothing more.