Not Human Chapter 3
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Enoby: You don’t use the PM service to review a fanfic.
Chrono:
I walked down the hallway to Arti's room. I opened the door to find Artimus gone. I blinked a couple of times, to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I ran out the room as fast as I could but I ended bumping right into Roy.
Lemur: Great. Komedy. Just what this fanfic needs.
"Watch where you are going you little brat! Oh, Chrono it's you." I hate him. No, actually I don't, I tolerate him t a certain level.
Enoby: Roy’s certainly quick to anger, isn’t he? I can see how he lasted in the Military.
"Hey old geezer!" I said with excitement.
Enoby: One: Chrono wouldn’t say that.
Two: He’s just found out that the Sue has disappeared, and he’s acting like this!
I watched his eyebrow twitch in agitation. Oh, I never realized how much fun it was to anger him.
Lemur: This might have worked better if you swapped Chrono and Ed’s characters... kept Chrono as a Demon...
"Anyway, I am not old, I'm twenty-two. "
Enoby: No he isn’t! He’s in his early thirties when Ed is fifteen!
"Yeah, Yeah. Enough joking around," I said, "Artimus isn't in her room."
Roy: Maybe she’s in the toilet.
"THAT LITTLE PUNK!" Mustang yelled
Roy: How dare she use the toilet!
"What did I do?"
"ED! HE RAN OUT HE ROOM WHILE I WAS INVESTAGATING HIM!"
Chrono: Why didn’t you stop him?
"What did you say?"
Enoby: They’re taking the Hobbits to Isengard!
"I just told him how his master uses him for his own pleasure and how he shouldn't be loyal. I also could have possibly told him about the execution."
Chrono: Well that wasn’t very smart, wasn’t it?
"…"
"Uh, Colonel Crusade."
Enoby: *shakes head in despair*
Lemur: I’m in despair. This fanfic has left me in despair.
"…" I stayed silent.
"Chrono."
Enoby: Oh God, this is meant to be komedy.
"YOU IDIOT! WHAT WOULD YOU DO THAT? PEOPLE TEND TO GET ATTACHED TO THEIR ABUSERS!
Enoby: ‘People tend to get attached to their abusers’ pfft. That reeks of someone whose knowledge of abuse comes from YA romance and Disney.
THEY WERE IN THAT DARK ABYSS
Enoby: Seriously?
THEY CALLED HOME FOR PROBABLY THEIR WHOLE LIVES. THEY WERE PROBABLY ONLY EXPOSED TO KINASE! OF COURSE THEY WOULD DENY IT! HOW ARE YOU EVEN A COLONEL!?"
Lemur: That’s a good point. Roy’s an idiot in this fanfic.
"Sorry?"
"UGHH!" I said as I stormed out.
Artimus:
"Aerugo. Do you really think they can help us?" I said.
"They will one way or another."
Lemur: Yeah, they’ll shoot you. *mimes firing a pistol* Pew.
"But, didn't they leave master first."
"Even so, they may still respect him enough to help. If they don't, then master will rat them out, which they don't want.
Enoby: Are you sure? It sounds to me like it would benefit them.
"Well then, aren't you devious today?" I half-asked.
Enoby: ‘I half-asked’. Idiot.
"I learn from the best, after all."
As crossed the border into Aerugo, secretly by the way,
Enoby: I thought you’d blast through with fanfares.
we were met by this large city. Many people lived here, I can tell just by the people on the street.
Lemur: Well done! You have brilliant deductive skills! Eh, I’m done; this is boring. *leaves*
Enoby: *stares after him* Dick.
I have never been in this kind of place in my life. I've only heard stories about them as a child. Edward put up his hood as did I.
Enoby: Um... ‘kay?
We walked through the shady streets of Uptown
Enoby: -Girl.
to an abandoned laboratory. We entered the barely lit building and just walked through it. I have to admit, I was pretty amazed to be on something that was strictly business.
Enoby: ...why?
Ed glared at me for being 'immature'. I know he was surprised, too. It wasn't much, but it was better than where we lived.
Enoby: No, seriously, I’m confused about this. What’s going on here?
"Tucker." Said Ed. I heard a ruffling and removed my cloak, ready to fight. However, what I didn't know was that I would be face to face with a man shy-looking man
Enoby: Man shy-looking man? *facepalm* Oh my God.
, and not shy but creepy-shy.
Enoby: *frowns in confusion* What? But you just- gah!
"Shou Tucker, we need your help." Tucker stared at us obviously thinking with the blankest expression possible. Then his eyes went wide.
Enoby: I’m trying to work my head around these descriptions... they’re so confusing.
"Kinase is in jail isn't he?" It was really more of a statement than a question. Even so, I answered.
Enoby: Huh. A line in this fic that was pretty decent. What’s the catch?
"He will be executed. We just don't know for what yet."
"I'm sorry, but-" he was cut off by the blade between my fingers that just so happened to be up to his throat.
Enoby: Oh, it just so happened.
"I have a daughter." I let it down. I don't know what it is like to love, but the look in this man's eyes told me he was telling the truth. At that moment a sleepy little girl walked in.
Enoby: What’s Nina doing in Aerugo?
"Daddy, who is it?"
Tucker: A Canon-Stu and a God Mode Sue.
"No one, honey." The little girl went back her small little bedroom.
Enoby: How do you know that her bedroom is small?
"Why are you living in a laboratory with like a four-year-old?" asked Ed. I was already pissed, when Edward said that I really pissed.
Ed: Like, oh em gee!
"Do you know of the chemicals that could be in the floorboards?
Enoby: Asbestos?
Honestly, I would never let my child grow up in such a horrible place." I said kind of snooty.
Enoby: Uh, he’s an alchemist. He possibly has reasons.
"I know, things have just gotten really hard."
Enoby: Then turn Nina into a chimera! That’s what he did in canon!
"You're not the only one, pops!" Edward yelled. Great, he's yelling. That's never good.
Enoby: Ed never called Tucker ‘pops’.
"Please may I ask you a favor-" The doors bust open.
Enoby: So... is that a statue of the door, or does it have boobs?
The military. I hate life. This is starting to get aggravating me. I turned around to find Colonel Crusade
Enoby: *facepalm*
and Colonel Mustang. Scratch that, I don't hate life, I hate them in my life.
Enoby: Awwww, but you’re going to be getting with Chrono! The summary said so!
"I'm sorry, but General Gran has ordered us to put you to sleep."
Enoby: Isn’t that nice of the Military? How lovely of them to use a euphemism instead of just shooting them.
I looked at him with wide eyes. Tucker spoke before I got a chance.
Tucker: KILL HER! I’m innocent!
"HOW CAN YOU END SOMETHING YOU CREATED?
Enoby: ...
YOU MADE THEM, YOU SHOULD TAKE RIDE
Enoby: *snorts*
IN SOMETHING YOU DID!" Tucker shouted as loud as I've heard anyone yell.
Enoby: Well, it is in caps lock.
"Restrain him!" Yelled a superior officer.
"What is he talking about?" I asked. I went through some images in my mind… a flashback, right?
Enoby: You’re making your characters seem like idiots!
Flashback
Enoby: Yeah, you just told us.
"Mommy! Daddy! PLEASE WAKE UP! THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD. HEY LET ME DOWN! YOU KILLED THEM, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! HOW DARE YOU! I HATE HUMANS.
Enoby: I was about to say that no words can express my opinion... except there’s an entire trope dedicated to this; NARM.
TIME SKIP
Enoby: The caps lock is hurting my eyes.
"PLEASE STOP! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE!"
Enoby: Ah, you’re voicing the thoughts of all canon-characters as you Sueified them.
They kept going. They just sent bullets at me.
Enoby: Uh....
Why must they stab me with knives and words?
Artimus: WHY? I THOUGHT I WAS PERFECT!
I'm worthless aren't I? I don't deserve their kindness.
Enoby: Because stabbing someone is a sign of kindness...?
I am so scared. I want to go home. Someone please make them stop. Look at what these people have down to me! Look! Is this what they wanted of me? To make me the monster I now am?
Enoby: I know it says in the summary that you’re an angel... but you haven’t come out and said it. In fact, I think you’re Frankenstein’s monster.
I am confused and lost. Someone, anyone, tell me why do these men continue to hurt me. Was I a bad girl?
Enoby: Yes. You’re a very bad girl. Naughty!
They said that bad girls don't die. Am I so bad that I can't rest for two minutes? Is this why they torture me? Someone save me! I can't take this much longer!
Enoby: Like I feel reading this drivel.
h"Someone help me!"
"Artimus, please stop you're hurting yourself." Said Chrono.
Artimus: PISS OFF! *thrashes*
"I don't want this anymore! Just leave me alone- AHH! My head hurts! Make it stop!"
END
Enoby: YES! *hugs self*
A/N: I know I'm evil. But I’ll probably make a sequel of some sort. So know one hate me. Hopefully I will make it by Friday or on Friday. I love you guys. Thank you for everyone that favorite/followed the story or me! Review or I wont post new story!
Enoby: I’d spork the rest of this fanfic, except the account was deleted. Thank God, I just couldn’t go on, it was so... *sighs* better sporkers would have been able to spork this. This fanfic was actually my first sporking, and even then it was redone. I just couldn't think of anything new to say to it.
Enoby: You don’t use the PM service to review a fanfic.
Chrono:
I walked down the hallway to Arti's room. I opened the door to find Artimus gone. I blinked a couple of times, to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I ran out the room as fast as I could but I ended bumping right into Roy.
Lemur: Great. Komedy. Just what this fanfic needs.
"Watch where you are going you little brat! Oh, Chrono it's you." I hate him. No, actually I don't, I tolerate him t a certain level.
Enoby: Roy’s certainly quick to anger, isn’t he? I can see how he lasted in the Military.
"Hey old geezer!" I said with excitement.
Enoby: One: Chrono wouldn’t say that.
Two: He’s just found out that the Sue has disappeared, and he’s acting like this!
I watched his eyebrow twitch in agitation. Oh, I never realized how much fun it was to anger him.
Lemur: This might have worked better if you swapped Chrono and Ed’s characters... kept Chrono as a Demon...
"Anyway, I am not old, I'm twenty-two. "
Enoby: No he isn’t! He’s in his early thirties when Ed is fifteen!
"Yeah, Yeah. Enough joking around," I said, "Artimus isn't in her room."
Roy: Maybe she’s in the toilet.
"THAT LITTLE PUNK!" Mustang yelled
Roy: How dare she use the toilet!
"What did I do?"
"ED! HE RAN OUT HE ROOM WHILE I WAS INVESTAGATING HIM!"
Chrono: Why didn’t you stop him?
"What did you say?"
Enoby: They’re taking the Hobbits to Isengard!
"I just told him how his master uses him for his own pleasure and how he shouldn't be loyal. I also could have possibly told him about the execution."
Chrono: Well that wasn’t very smart, wasn’t it?
"…"
"Uh, Colonel Crusade."
Enoby: *shakes head in despair*
Lemur: I’m in despair. This fanfic has left me in despair.
"…" I stayed silent.
"Chrono."
Enoby: Oh God, this is meant to be komedy.
"YOU IDIOT! WHAT WOULD YOU DO THAT? PEOPLE TEND TO GET ATTACHED TO THEIR ABUSERS!
Enoby: ‘People tend to get attached to their abusers’ pfft. That reeks of someone whose knowledge of abuse comes from YA romance and Disney.
THEY WERE IN THAT DARK ABYSS
Enoby: Seriously?
THEY CALLED HOME FOR PROBABLY THEIR WHOLE LIVES. THEY WERE PROBABLY ONLY EXPOSED TO KINASE! OF COURSE THEY WOULD DENY IT! HOW ARE YOU EVEN A COLONEL!?"
Lemur: That’s a good point. Roy’s an idiot in this fanfic.
"Sorry?"
"UGHH!" I said as I stormed out.
Artimus:
"Aerugo. Do you really think they can help us?" I said.
"They will one way or another."
Lemur: Yeah, they’ll shoot you. *mimes firing a pistol* Pew.
"But, didn't they leave master first."
"Even so, they may still respect him enough to help. If they don't, then master will rat them out, which they don't want.
Enoby: Are you sure? It sounds to me like it would benefit them.
"Well then, aren't you devious today?" I half-asked.
Enoby: ‘I half-asked’. Idiot.
"I learn from the best, after all."
As crossed the border into Aerugo, secretly by the way,
Enoby: I thought you’d blast through with fanfares.
we were met by this large city. Many people lived here, I can tell just by the people on the street.
Lemur: Well done! You have brilliant deductive skills! Eh, I’m done; this is boring. *leaves*
Enoby: *stares after him* Dick.
I have never been in this kind of place in my life. I've only heard stories about them as a child. Edward put up his hood as did I.
Enoby: Um... ‘kay?
We walked through the shady streets of Uptown
Enoby: -Girl.
to an abandoned laboratory. We entered the barely lit building and just walked through it. I have to admit, I was pretty amazed to be on something that was strictly business.
Enoby: ...why?
Ed glared at me for being 'immature'. I know he was surprised, too. It wasn't much, but it was better than where we lived.
Enoby: No, seriously, I’m confused about this. What’s going on here?
"Tucker." Said Ed. I heard a ruffling and removed my cloak, ready to fight. However, what I didn't know was that I would be face to face with a man shy-looking man
Enoby: Man shy-looking man? *facepalm* Oh my God.
, and not shy but creepy-shy.
Enoby: *frowns in confusion* What? But you just- gah!
"Shou Tucker, we need your help." Tucker stared at us obviously thinking with the blankest expression possible. Then his eyes went wide.
Enoby: I’m trying to work my head around these descriptions... they’re so confusing.
"Kinase is in jail isn't he?" It was really more of a statement than a question. Even so, I answered.
Enoby: Huh. A line in this fic that was pretty decent. What’s the catch?
"He will be executed. We just don't know for what yet."
"I'm sorry, but-" he was cut off by the blade between my fingers that just so happened to be up to his throat.
Enoby: Oh, it just so happened.
"I have a daughter." I let it down. I don't know what it is like to love, but the look in this man's eyes told me he was telling the truth. At that moment a sleepy little girl walked in.
Enoby: What’s Nina doing in Aerugo?
"Daddy, who is it?"
Tucker: A Canon-Stu and a God Mode Sue.
"No one, honey." The little girl went back her small little bedroom.
Enoby: How do you know that her bedroom is small?
"Why are you living in a laboratory with like a four-year-old?" asked Ed. I was already pissed, when Edward said that I really pissed.
Ed: Like, oh em gee!
"Do you know of the chemicals that could be in the floorboards?
Enoby: Asbestos?
Honestly, I would never let my child grow up in such a horrible place." I said kind of snooty.
Enoby: Uh, he’s an alchemist. He possibly has reasons.
"I know, things have just gotten really hard."
Enoby: Then turn Nina into a chimera! That’s what he did in canon!
"You're not the only one, pops!" Edward yelled. Great, he's yelling. That's never good.
Enoby: Ed never called Tucker ‘pops’.
"Please may I ask you a favor-" The doors bust open.
Enoby: So... is that a statue of the door, or does it have boobs?
The military. I hate life. This is starting to get aggravating me. I turned around to find Colonel Crusade
Enoby: *facepalm*
and Colonel Mustang. Scratch that, I don't hate life, I hate them in my life.
Enoby: Awwww, but you’re going to be getting with Chrono! The summary said so!
"I'm sorry, but General Gran has ordered us to put you to sleep."
Enoby: Isn’t that nice of the Military? How lovely of them to use a euphemism instead of just shooting them.
I looked at him with wide eyes. Tucker spoke before I got a chance.
Tucker: KILL HER! I’m innocent!
"HOW CAN YOU END SOMETHING YOU CREATED?
Enoby: ...
YOU MADE THEM, YOU SHOULD TAKE RIDE
Enoby: *snorts*
IN SOMETHING YOU DID!" Tucker shouted as loud as I've heard anyone yell.
Enoby: Well, it is in caps lock.
"Restrain him!" Yelled a superior officer.
"What is he talking about?" I asked. I went through some images in my mind… a flashback, right?
Enoby: You’re making your characters seem like idiots!
Flashback
Enoby: Yeah, you just told us.
"Mommy! Daddy! PLEASE WAKE UP! THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD. HEY LET ME DOWN! YOU KILLED THEM, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! HOW DARE YOU! I HATE HUMANS.
Enoby: I was about to say that no words can express my opinion... except there’s an entire trope dedicated to this; NARM.
TIME SKIP
Enoby: The caps lock is hurting my eyes.
"PLEASE STOP! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE!"
Enoby: Ah, you’re voicing the thoughts of all canon-characters as you Sueified them.
They kept going. They just sent bullets at me.
Enoby: Uh....
Why must they stab me with knives and words?
Artimus: WHY? I THOUGHT I WAS PERFECT!
I'm worthless aren't I? I don't deserve their kindness.
Enoby: Because stabbing someone is a sign of kindness...?
I am so scared. I want to go home. Someone please make them stop. Look at what these people have down to me! Look! Is this what they wanted of me? To make me the monster I now am?
Enoby: I know it says in the summary that you’re an angel... but you haven’t come out and said it. In fact, I think you’re Frankenstein’s monster.
I am confused and lost. Someone, anyone, tell me why do these men continue to hurt me. Was I a bad girl?
Enoby: Yes. You’re a very bad girl. Naughty!
They said that bad girls don't die. Am I so bad that I can't rest for two minutes? Is this why they torture me? Someone save me! I can't take this much longer!
Enoby: Like I feel reading this drivel.
h"Someone help me!"
"Artimus, please stop you're hurting yourself." Said Chrono.
Artimus: PISS OFF! *thrashes*
"I don't want this anymore! Just leave me alone- AHH! My head hurts! Make it stop!"
END
Enoby: YES! *hugs self*
A/N: I know I'm evil. But I’ll probably make a sequel of some sort. So know one hate me. Hopefully I will make it by Friday or on Friday. I love you guys. Thank you for everyone that favorite/followed the story or me! Review or I wont post new story!
Enoby: I’d spork the rest of this fanfic, except the account was deleted. Thank God, I just couldn’t go on, it was so... *sighs* better sporkers would have been able to spork this. This fanfic was actually my first sporking, and even then it was redone. I just couldn't think of anything new to say to it.