"Transitions" Chapter 6 review
Well, damn. Went over the word count again with my review for the most recent chapter of serenetwinkle's "Transitions" - Chapter 6.
I just found so many of Doumeki's internal one-liners intencely amusing, I just had to tell serenetwinkle and, well, it went way over.
Onto my magnificent review:
The 'I’ve got you' smile.
Also known as Yuuko's 'I have you in my clutches' devious look, as Watanuki has dubbed it.
Now wasn’t that a bit of a switch. Watanuki would probably love it.
It's great that Doumeki appreciates the irony and knows how much Watanuki would appreciate it also.
I love how you have just nailed Doumeki's personality in this chapter. Him repeating things that shock him in his head, instead of out loud like Watanuki likes to do. And then his sly comments to himself are great--also something that sounds just like Doumeki.
Hmm. A sleepwalking Watanuki? Not entirely impossible. The guy probably had so much energy he had to work it off at night.
This one was particularly brilliant.
But that couldn’t really be possible, since it was after 3 in the morning and neither of them had even had their eyes open. Unless Watanuki had developed a new habit of getting up and walking around in the middle of the night to look at strange paintings.
Obviously Doumeki is forgetting that Watanuki has been having a hard time sleeping through the entire night for the last month because, then, he might be up if he can't sleep.
I do love you putting this in here, Doumeki seeing the ward done by his grandfather in the other dimension and it is perfect example of the type of image that Watanuki would subconsciously transmit to Doumeki. It's supernatural and definitely evoked a strong emotional response in Watanuki--two actually: Haruka for one and then the overriding amusement at the irony. It was most likely this ironic amusement that Watanuki just wished he could share with Doumeki and therefore did.
...to try and wake him.
“Oi,” Doumeki called softly
But, of course, Kimihiro doesn't respond to this--Watanuki would though, probably sitting up bolt straight, already yelling that his name is not 'Oi' before he is even totally awake.
In the end he couldn’t pry the semi-hysterical teen off of his body (though admittedly he didn’t really try that hard to begin with)
*Snort*
He’d really been hanging around Watanuki too long. The apathy to abnormality was starting to rub off.
~*~
“Really? I’ve been told I’m something of an unemotional bastard.”?
Followed by:
“Joke.”
Sort of.
~*~
Watanuki actually pouted. It was… cute. “That’s hardly equal.”
Watanuki pouting is such a bizarre image.
“Huh.” Must be a Watanuki thing, this early morning energy.
~*~
...planned out a way to get him back, and was currently wondering how much she should dock the skinny teen’s pay for services yet to be rendered.
When I read this, I just thought that Doumeki wanted to add: "and how many more years Watanuki would be 'slaving away for her and providing her with a steady-stream of alcohol' (Watanuki's words, not his) in compensation."
Well wasn’t he adjusting well.
I am just continually amused by Doumeki's running in-head commentary.
A character. That was one way to say it.
~*~
Doumeki wasn’t about to let Yuuko loose on him. In some ways, he was even more innocent then Watanuki.
Protective!Doumeki is awesome--especially when, sometimes, it seems that Yuuko needs to be protected from their Watanuki.
Wasn’t it just earlier this week that Watanuki had told him to ‘drop dead you ungrateful bastard, no I will not make you snacks for after school’ in front of about half the student body?
LOL!!! Yet I bet he did make those snacks after all. That is such a great and classic Watanuki line.
“Well, do I... I mean... am I supposed to hate you?”
The look Doumeki received was so sincerely confused he couldn’t help it.
He laughed.
It kind of hurt. Muscles not used for a while, he supposed.
When Kimihiro gets back, both him and Shizuka are going to discuss how insane their counterparts in the other universe are--laughing, and extremely hard at that, at random and very inappropriate things.
Does that mean I have to yell at you at school?”
Such a cute question! I doubt Kimihiro could, even if he really wanted to--1, he's too kind-hearted and soft spoken; 2, he doesn't have all that repressed frustration towards Doumeki that Watanuki has--from denying his attraction to the archer no doubt--to use as fuel for his ranting; and 3, the real reason, I'm sure that the long-term abuse that Kimihiro has suffered has caused him to irrevocably connect any type of yelling or shouting with that emotion (and maybe physical) pain and therefore would never subject anyone else to it.
“Of course it looks different! There’s nothing there!” was the exasperated reply.
Ah.
This could be a problem.
Understatement of the year.
“Oh, you don’t see anything either?”
Watanuki’s jaw dropped. “Are you crazy? What was I supposed to see?”
Seems Watanuki Kimihiro's frustration with Doumeki for stating the obvious (here it is obvious to Kimihiro, even if it isn't, understandably, to Doumeki) is also another universal trait.
“What happened to you jewelry!?”
The ensuing mischievous laughter made Doumeki decide he really didn’t want to know.
Always knew Doumeki was a smart boy.
Ah, a different dimension. Of course. Made sense in a mind bending kind of way.
Of course!
Watanuki followed as instructed without hesitation, Doumeki only a step behind him.
Even if it isn't his Watanuki and Kimihiro seems to be acquainted with a jewelry-wearing version of Yuuko, Doumeki still can't quite make himself let go of looking after Watanuki's welling-being, it is now so ingrained in him.
Kimi-chan?
I bet Doumeki raised an eyebrow with this thought, or, at lest, an internal eyebrow. I can just see Doumeki calling Watanuki this at the most inopportune time, like at lunch with Himawari, with that poker face and perfectly level voice and Watanuki just erupting spectacularly, complaining about everyone over there calling him that and how he definitely didn't need this coming from the 'unemotional bastard' too!
I just found so many of Doumeki's internal one-liners intencely amusing, I just had to tell serenetwinkle and, well, it went way over.
Onto my magnificent review:
The 'I’ve got you' smile.
Also known as Yuuko's 'I have you in my clutches' devious look, as Watanuki has dubbed it.
Now wasn’t that a bit of a switch. Watanuki would probably love it.
It's great that Doumeki appreciates the irony and knows how much Watanuki would appreciate it also.
I love how you have just nailed Doumeki's personality in this chapter. Him repeating things that shock him in his head, instead of out loud like Watanuki likes to do. And then his sly comments to himself are great--also something that sounds just like Doumeki.
Hmm. A sleepwalking Watanuki? Not entirely impossible. The guy probably had so much energy he had to work it off at night.
This one was particularly brilliant.
But that couldn’t really be possible, since it was after 3 in the morning and neither of them had even had their eyes open. Unless Watanuki had developed a new habit of getting up and walking around in the middle of the night to look at strange paintings.
Obviously Doumeki is forgetting that Watanuki has been having a hard time sleeping through the entire night for the last month because, then, he might be up if he can't sleep.
I do love you putting this in here, Doumeki seeing the ward done by his grandfather in the other dimension and it is perfect example of the type of image that Watanuki would subconsciously transmit to Doumeki. It's supernatural and definitely evoked a strong emotional response in Watanuki--two actually: Haruka for one and then the overriding amusement at the irony. It was most likely this ironic amusement that Watanuki just wished he could share with Doumeki and therefore did.
...to try and wake him.
“Oi,” Doumeki called softly
But, of course, Kimihiro doesn't respond to this--Watanuki would though, probably sitting up bolt straight, already yelling that his name is not 'Oi' before he is even totally awake.
In the end he couldn’t pry the semi-hysterical teen off of his body (though admittedly he didn’t really try that hard to begin with)
*Snort*
He’d really been hanging around Watanuki too long. The apathy to abnormality was starting to rub off.
~*~
“Really? I’ve been told I’m something of an unemotional bastard.”?
Followed by:
“Joke.”
Sort of.
~*~
Watanuki actually pouted. It was… cute. “That’s hardly equal.”
Watanuki pouting is such a bizarre image.
“Huh.” Must be a Watanuki thing, this early morning energy.
~*~
...planned out a way to get him back, and was currently wondering how much she should dock the skinny teen’s pay for services yet to be rendered.
When I read this, I just thought that Doumeki wanted to add: "and how many more years Watanuki would be 'slaving away for her and providing her with a steady-stream of alcohol' (Watanuki's words, not his) in compensation."
Well wasn’t he adjusting well.
I am just continually amused by Doumeki's running in-head commentary.
A character. That was one way to say it.
~*~
Doumeki wasn’t about to let Yuuko loose on him. In some ways, he was even more innocent then Watanuki.
Protective!Doumeki is awesome--especially when, sometimes, it seems that Yuuko needs to be protected from their Watanuki.
Wasn’t it just earlier this week that Watanuki had told him to ‘drop dead you ungrateful bastard, no I will not make you snacks for after school’ in front of about half the student body?
LOL!!! Yet I bet he did make those snacks after all. That is such a great and classic Watanuki line.
“Well, do I... I mean... am I supposed to hate you?”
The look Doumeki received was so sincerely confused he couldn’t help it.
He laughed.
It kind of hurt. Muscles not used for a while, he supposed.
When Kimihiro gets back, both him and Shizuka are going to discuss how insane their counterparts in the other universe are--laughing, and extremely hard at that, at random and very inappropriate things.
Does that mean I have to yell at you at school?”
Such a cute question! I doubt Kimihiro could, even if he really wanted to--1, he's too kind-hearted and soft spoken; 2, he doesn't have all that repressed frustration towards Doumeki that Watanuki has--from denying his attraction to the archer no doubt--to use as fuel for his ranting; and 3, the real reason, I'm sure that the long-term abuse that Kimihiro has suffered has caused him to irrevocably connect any type of yelling or shouting with that emotion (and maybe physical) pain and therefore would never subject anyone else to it.
“Of course it looks different! There’s nothing there!” was the exasperated reply.
Ah.
This could be a problem.
Understatement of the year.
“Oh, you don’t see anything either?”
Watanuki’s jaw dropped. “Are you crazy? What was I supposed to see?”
Seems Watanuki Kimihiro's frustration with Doumeki for stating the obvious (here it is obvious to Kimihiro, even if it isn't, understandably, to Doumeki) is also another universal trait.
“What happened to you jewelry!?”
The ensuing mischievous laughter made Doumeki decide he really didn’t want to know.
Always knew Doumeki was a smart boy.
Ah, a different dimension. Of course. Made sense in a mind bending kind of way.
Of course!
Watanuki followed as instructed without hesitation, Doumeki only a step behind him.
Even if it isn't his Watanuki and Kimihiro seems to be acquainted with a jewelry-wearing version of Yuuko, Doumeki still can't quite make himself let go of looking after Watanuki's welling-being, it is now so ingrained in him.
Kimi-chan?
I bet Doumeki raised an eyebrow with this thought, or, at lest, an internal eyebrow. I can just see Doumeki calling Watanuki this at the most inopportune time, like at lunch with Himawari, with that poker face and perfectly level voice and Watanuki just erupting spectacularly, complaining about everyone over there calling him that and how he definitely didn't need this coming from the 'unemotional bastard' too!