Death is a debt we all must pay.
"Delay in vengeance gives a heavier blow..."
I repeated the words as carefully and as firmly as I could. His empty stare remained vacant. I smiled bitterly. It truly has been a long time. The glances speak of his unresolved questions that he often asked me secretly when we are isolated from the other two. I avoided the arguement by not opening my mouth to respond or shifting my eye contact towards nothing. He sensed the danger in pursuing but either he is stubborn or just plain stupid (which I would never expect from his solid character) he went on and tried to catch my attention all the time if oppurtunity allows him.
"Ren..."I murmured his name gently. I am out of words so I gave him another adage,"Life is but a passing dream, but the death that follows is eternal."
It wouldn't help him. The conflict will remain shut in that tormented mind of his. He looked at me more fiercely now, suddenly he wants to break into my thoughts, reach out, shake me to my core and I have to admit that denial is not considered here when I say that I am afraid that he might succeed in conquering me.
Alas, he stood up and smiled. I held his gaze. I didn't smile back. I have no reason to anyway.
"Miss," he spoke so gently with the formal politeness he knows I demand of him. "I am sorry to cause you disturbance--"
His apology has not yet finished when the monitor of my computer flashed a vibrant red color with the symbol of death. We both glanced at it, both thinking that we are left on another unmistakable and awkward lull. He frowned, I sighed. I called for Wanyuundo and Hone Onna when I walked outside towards the garden.
He stood behind me and I know he has that sad face again. I turned around just in time to catch his memory as it was taking him prisoner once more to a distant shore of misery. I can see he remembered the weight of his sin, the service that I employed him of and even when our gazes remained unanswered by either of us, we didn't look away at all...not until Wanyuundo and Hone Ona had come walking towards us.
A single pull is all it takes. Ichimoto Ren knows that death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
I say it is normal for you to wonder what had Ren asked me about but *sighs* I am not prepared to discuss it yet. I am still gathering my thoughts. Ren is becomming to hard to control these days. He should know by now that I do care about how he feels, it's just that we are not allow to show it at all. *looks down sadly*