(no subject)
hi. i haven't been here in awhile. i don't go on myspace often either. i've been doing a lot of "work" at work. and let's face it, after working on a computer all damn day, i don't even want to look at one when i go home. so what have i been doing? well, working...being on time and getting a great deal accomplished. though i'm really not sure if it's all in vain as i am halfway looking for other employment. i am trying to be positive though, so, in turn, i think: "even if i'm not at this company, at least I made a difference. at least i fixed something. at least i wrote documents and procedures so it won't be so bad for the person who takes my spot."
i've been active, or at least trying to be. spreading myself to various groups and friends. reading. yes, i read a whole book! lol. "Jesus Acted Up". it was pretty good actually. it made me think about myself and my situtation. i feel like i'm being made to live a double life - by me having to hide my sexuality at work and my mom refusing to accept my sexuality. it's a very uneasy feeling to not be who you are. it's not that i want to scream it from the mountaintops or anything, but it hurts to have to deny myself who i am.
i keep running into the same problems that i've always had with girls. they tell me i need to relax, slow down, etc... i honestly feel like this is the slowest i've been. i'm still trying to be less demanding/expectant.
anyways, this weekend is gay days in orlando. hell yes i'm excited! last year was a blast...this one can only be better!
xx
i've been active, or at least trying to be. spreading myself to various groups and friends. reading. yes, i read a whole book! lol. "Jesus Acted Up". it was pretty good actually. it made me think about myself and my situtation. i feel like i'm being made to live a double life - by me having to hide my sexuality at work and my mom refusing to accept my sexuality. it's a very uneasy feeling to not be who you are. it's not that i want to scream it from the mountaintops or anything, but it hurts to have to deny myself who i am.
i keep running into the same problems that i've always had with girls. they tell me i need to relax, slow down, etc... i honestly feel like this is the slowest i've been. i'm still trying to be less demanding/expectant.
anyways, this weekend is gay days in orlando. hell yes i'm excited! last year was a blast...this one can only be better!
xx