(no subject)
This is my defining moment. I'm sitting here, it's 10:21pm. I've been ready and excited at the possibility of going out for a Fat Tuesday celebration over at Sugar Daddy's since 7pm. I had the day off, which is odd because I always draw the "have to work" card when the schedule is made and there's a fun day like this on it. I even tried to plan shit AHEAD of time with friends last night. That proved to be fruitless. It's always fruitless. It never proves to be anything BUT fruitless.
You know I'm a 25 year old guy, soon to be 26, and I shouldn't be sitting here dejected over something like this. But it's not really the fact that it's Fat Tuesday or the fact that I will not get to go to Sugar Daddy's. It's the fact that this ALWAYS happens. In fact I had a bet with myself last night that I'd be sitting here in my chair fuming inside over just this. Of course I was right. I don't have any reason to expect anything different.
I can't figure it out. My life is like the mother-of-all chinese riddles. I never get anything I want, I never get to do anything I want to do. When something happens resembles something in my favor, it's always an accident or a bi-product of someone else's desires. My uncle Joe believes that life is just a dream and sometimes your dream is front row and center, other times it's someone elses. Last Friday night at work I saw this very belief in action. This server Perry and I were on two big parties. He told me we were going to make bank that night. Sure enough we did. We killed it, made more many than I did all the previous week. What's happened since then or the majority of the time? Nothing close. Friday night was purely a product of Perry's dream. I want to live my dream.
You know I'm a 25 year old guy, soon to be 26, and I shouldn't be sitting here dejected over something like this. But it's not really the fact that it's Fat Tuesday or the fact that I will not get to go to Sugar Daddy's. It's the fact that this ALWAYS happens. In fact I had a bet with myself last night that I'd be sitting here in my chair fuming inside over just this. Of course I was right. I don't have any reason to expect anything different.
I can't figure it out. My life is like the mother-of-all chinese riddles. I never get anything I want, I never get to do anything I want to do. When something happens resembles something in my favor, it's always an accident or a bi-product of someone else's desires. My uncle Joe believes that life is just a dream and sometimes your dream is front row and center, other times it's someone elses. Last Friday night at work I saw this very belief in action. This server Perry and I were on two big parties. He told me we were going to make bank that night. Sure enough we did. We killed it, made more many than I did all the previous week. What's happened since then or the majority of the time? Nothing close. Friday night was purely a product of Perry's dream. I want to live my dream.