Feb 27, 2013 06:43
Не так давно у меня появилась новая ученица Марина из Торонто. На английском языке она уже разговаривает, но очень ещё плохо. Марина хочет научиться писать сочинения на английском языке. 25 февраля у нас состоялся урок, на котором Марина попросила меня проверить написанное ею сочинение или, как его называют в Канаде, эссе. Вот что она написала:
When I was student I had been working 5 years leader in International children's centre "Artek".
It was established on June 16, 1925 on the Black Sea in the town of Gurzuf located on the Crimean peninsula, near Medved Mountain, Ukraine. Artek has a rich history and if you are going to visit Ukraine you have to visit this wonderful place!
I worked with children with different nationality, abilities and social status. I can tell you that children are the best teachers! They tought me to make decisions from heart, belive in kindness, belive in imagination. Looking for joy in every day! It is not importent what kind of nationality, social status, religions,abilities. Important what do you do. You are ready to help or you want destroy something. Difficult to estimate the value of all this experience, even now! Adults must develop himself every day because children don't listen what we tell them, they do that we do. They always look up to us!
А вот что получилось после моих исправлений:
When I was a student, I was working as a leader at several children's camps of the international conglomerate Artek for 5 years.
It was opened on the 16th of June 1925 near the Black Sea resort town of Gurzuf and Medved Mountain in Crimean Peninsula. Being a place of rich and exciting history, Artek is an ideal sight to see if you are going to visit Ukraine.
I worked with children of different ages, nationalities, ethnic backgrounds, abilities and social status. I can tell you that children are the best teachers! They taught me to make decisions using my heart, believe in kindness and imagination. They also emphasised the need to seek joy and happiness every day. I realised that social, ethic or religious background does not matter if you want to build good relations with people. It is more important what you do: what you create and what you destroy. I believe that children just repeat what they see, so adults should grow personally to be good role models.
Не правда ли, так гораздо лучше?