they’ll dig me up one day, stare at my insides and find nothing but ghosts | elena gilbert

[ladygawain]

Title: they’ll dig me up one day, stare at my insides and find nothing but ghosts
Rating: pg for light, light swearing
Category: Elena-centric, there is a hint of Damon/Elena if you squint, I guess.
Summary: She doesn't like to look at herself in the mirror much, she's afraid of what she might see (and might not).
Spoilers: potential spoiler for 3.10

Comments

[angryzen]

She wanders down the stairs sometimes and swears she can hear Jenna shuffling in her room, the sound of a hair dryer running through wet hair, an echo of laughter in the walls (accompanied by the crunch of her chest beneath the weight of a stake and the gurgle in her throat as she bled out onto the sand)

AAAHHH!!!! Descriptive words porn!!!!

This story is great. I think you got Elena right. She fits the tone/situation you were going for, and I think with her character that's the goal to spring for unless you want to write her the way the producers or that part of Fandom see her, i.e. ignoring that she can't stay a "pretty" person with all that she's gone through.

I love how you described her pain, her masks (she even has masks against her own self). It's very sad that she's holding up a mirror, but she can't bring herself to look at it. Kind of like she's holding the opportunity, but she can't bring herself to take it or face it.

And you even included Jer running away from MF!

One more:

No matter how hard you try to escape your

[ladygawain]

GODDAMMIT - sorry for the deleted reply to your comment, I keep deleting the wrong things, forgive me.

Okay, trying to remember what I said.

Thank you!! So happy she feels right to you.

Elena and mirrors, bb, too many FEELINGS. Thank you, aw shucccckkkkkkssss, thank you.

LOL, well JP went and spoiled that one.

[ladygawain]

Thank you, bb. Oh good, I'm glad it feels like something resembling her head space as I feel rather lost since I've never felt able to write this lady. Damon and Elena's friendship and relationship fascinates me, and their best moments aren't (for me) the overtly sexual etc. stuff although that's great and stuff - it's these wonderful, quiet moments of understanding and these silent spaces, I like that.

Ah, thank you!!!! (Jenna, Titi, Jenna!)

[define_serenity]

i'm not in the habit of reading much fanfiction (time doesn't always allow it) but i'm so so grateful that when i do i find fics like these, and they make me all achey, but achey in a good way, because this was just beautiful description, and so sad and heartbreaking. guh, i'm gonna read it again XD

/run-on comment

[ladygawain]

Ah, thank you so much, Elena Gilbert just makes me ache all the time so that's exactly what I was hoping this would do! :DDDDDDDDD

[x5vale]

“’Night, Damon.” She moves closer so she can feel the side of his arm with her shoulder, the solid presence of it, and falls asleep.

I loved this last line because it's so realistic of how Elena feels with Damon around...reassured and safe.

I liked your characterization of both of them.

[ladygawain]

Thank you so much, that's one of the things that intrigues me most about them, how safe they can be with each other because there aren't any illusions or anything. Which is always such a contradiction because Damon isn't exactly a "safe" person in the truest sense. So thank you.

I'm glad that my characterization works as I was worried with both of them, that I might not get it at all!

[x5vale]

This is the first fic written by you that I read and I loved it.

Do you have others?

[ladygawain]

Hi - thank you so much!

I've written a few Bonnie fics that are in this comm.

I also have a few other stories on my own LJ, found here on my master list in progress: http://ladygawain.livejournal.com/24871.html#cutid1. There's some Katherine, Katherine/Mason, Tyler/Bonnie stories in there.

I used to ship Bonnie/Damon so there's two of those and one in this comm somewhere.

(I'm not sure if you're into any of these pairings or whatever but just in case - I hope I can write more characters soon though).

[ever_neutral]

This is a pretty stunning first try, imho. Elena's head is DIFFICULT to ~access, and even harder to translate into fic (it gets easier), but speaking as an Elena stan, I wouldn't worry at all about not getting her, because: YOU DO. And you somehow completely nailed everything that is important about her nebulous r/ship with Damon (and why he is pivotal to her development/coming-ofage/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, because--if we're going to get enthusiastic about the mirror theme--we can probably consider him her shadow self) in a very short space, which is a feat and you should feel good. Something like this: She can’t see a thing but she knows he can. He can see her as clearly as if it was daylight and he doesn’t turn away, not once. -- It's like you've lifted the words right out of my brain, HOW DID YOU DO IT. Never stop.

[ladygawain]

Jesus, how do you Livejournal.

Sorry about that if you have a random "deleted comment" in your inbox. I will try to reproduce what I said last night, oy.

THANK YOU! Because you're an amazing Elena stan, and your opinion means a lot - this makes me \o/!

YES, that's what I hoped to get with Elena and how she relates to Damon, WHY she relates to him so I'm happy that came through. I feel frigging relieved because I've been wanting to write her for a long time, copious notes, but haven't really had the guts to post anything so yay (... for white wine?)!

I DON'T KNOW. Elena, man, how does she do?

Thanks!!