I kind of forgot I had this thing...

[enfantdelanuit]

No one will read this, so maybe I can be honest here. Especially since it's killing me to pretend everywhere else.

I miss you every moment.
I know I get mad at you.
I know I act like I'm fine.
I know I seem completely happy and strong.
The truth is...every second is torture.
I can't decide which is worse.
To be around you and almost fall into the old ways again...
Or to not see you and miss you so much I hurt.
Either way, it's painful.
Because either way, I don't have, nor will I ever have, that for which I pine.
I have moments everyday when I ask myself where my life went.
Where I went.
This is so hard.
I just wish I had someone who really understands what I'm going through.
You don't understand.
And though they try, they cannot comprehend.
You have your people...your helpful ears.
But at the end of the day, I am alone.
Without comfort.
Without solace.
Without a peer.
Trying so hard to piece myself back together....
without letting the world see that I'm broken.