hmm..
Went to a meeting tonight, one I hadn't been to in a couple months.
Heard a man speak that I have known for 10 years, but have not seen him in quite a while.
He came right up to me...I couldn't believe he remembered me! Someone from Pathfinders that ISN'T stuck up their own ass??
And he came right out when he was speaking and said it..."People either thank god for Pathfinders, or they thank god they got away from it!"
Yeah, no shit..
So I talked to him a while, we talked about our kids, how Manchester has gone so downhill and the school system there sucks. Talking about how living in the country was much nicer and so far removed from all the chaos of the urban settings.
Geez, when they hell did I become so OLD like??? Hahah!
Anyways, I hung around afterward about 10 minutes and talked to "Cookie Man".. he's been making cookies for this meeting for 2 years now... (btw, this is usually a PACKED meeting, but there were only like...8 of us maybe, and of course, I was the ONLY chick! Talk about awkward) he told me to bring home some cookies for the kids, so I did and he gave me the remains of the creamer. We had a good talk also.
Finally, I left and drove home in this crap rain, which wasn't so bad... and this storm (So far) isn't all they cracked it up to be!
So I've been home about an hour and I just feel this VOID, just utter loneliness.
I know I should call my sponsor, or SOMEBODY, but I keep making excuses as to why I shouldn't.
Yes, it's 10:30 at night, but someone is bound to be awake right? She said I could call until 11 if needed. Ugh.
Sometimes I just want to stew. And that's real BS.
At least in 2 months...I'll have 3 months sobriety/clean and I can begin SPONSORING others!
At first I thought, how overwhelming, I wouldn't be able to keep up with it all! But now I am backtracking.
This is the only way, besides following up with my program/doing the steps/meetings...that I am going to STAY SOBER AND CLEAN.
And I need to do this FOR MYSELF, so my husband can have a SANE wife and my kids, A GOOD MOM.
Heard a man speak that I have known for 10 years, but have not seen him in quite a while.
He came right up to me...I couldn't believe he remembered me! Someone from Pathfinders that ISN'T stuck up their own ass??
And he came right out when he was speaking and said it..."People either thank god for Pathfinders, or they thank god they got away from it!"
Yeah, no shit..
So I talked to him a while, we talked about our kids, how Manchester has gone so downhill and the school system there sucks. Talking about how living in the country was much nicer and so far removed from all the chaos of the urban settings.
Geez, when they hell did I become so OLD like??? Hahah!
Anyways, I hung around afterward about 10 minutes and talked to "Cookie Man".. he's been making cookies for this meeting for 2 years now... (btw, this is usually a PACKED meeting, but there were only like...8 of us maybe, and of course, I was the ONLY chick! Talk about awkward) he told me to bring home some cookies for the kids, so I did and he gave me the remains of the creamer. We had a good talk also.
Finally, I left and drove home in this crap rain, which wasn't so bad... and this storm (So far) isn't all they cracked it up to be!
So I've been home about an hour and I just feel this VOID, just utter loneliness.
I know I should call my sponsor, or SOMEBODY, but I keep making excuses as to why I shouldn't.
Yes, it's 10:30 at night, but someone is bound to be awake right? She said I could call until 11 if needed. Ugh.
Sometimes I just want to stew. And that's real BS.
At least in 2 months...I'll have 3 months sobriety/clean and I can begin SPONSORING others!
At first I thought, how overwhelming, I wouldn't be able to keep up with it all! But now I am backtracking.
This is the only way, besides following up with my program/doing the steps/meetings...that I am going to STAY SOBER AND CLEAN.
And I need to do this FOR MYSELF, so my husband can have a SANE wife and my kids, A GOOD MOM.