Long time no type!
Wow, I can't remember the last time I updated this! I've really missed journaling.. paper or online wise. Haven't done any in about a couple of years. Lots and lots of things going on. We just recently welcomed a baby girl into our family on 8/31/11 :D We named her Rileigh Marie and she is beautiful and so calm/peaceful. Tommy is getting along better than expected... He's not very jealous at all, most of the time he just wants to eat her up and thinks she's sooo cute. He's been such a big help to me around the house and with her when Tom is at work.
I've been stressed transitioning to this, but a good stress. I have finally realized just how much I love these kids, or kids in general. How I love taking care of them and raising them ...being a mommy, really. It's not exactly fun all the time, but nothing is supposed to be. It gives me a purpose, a reason to keep going.. fighting. I've been thinking lately how far I have come since my teens.
It was year after year I'd end up in some psych hosp. or psych program ...I don't even see my therapist anymore. Which isn't good, but I don't necessarily need it right now... I don't think. People say I have matured a lot since even a couple years ago. Which makes me happy to hear. Because I was such a mess.
I don't want to jinx anything but I think I can finally say that I am happy, and I have found my purpose in life. No matter how "cliche".
I used to think that way, think that the whole - marriage, kids, domestic shit - was an awful cliche and never wanted any part of it.
Until I met my husband... crap, I'm going to get mushy. Stupid hormones...
It was almost like I could feel my maternal clock ticking, saying, it's tiiiime. When I met him, I knew. I just knew. I even had dreams after we met that I was pregnant and I'd wake up convinced that I was...even though there was no possibility at that time ..lol
It's strange. Life's strange.
I'm trying to let go and not be so scared anymore. My confidence seems to be coming back.
I think I will leave it off at that. I am tired and Rileigh will probably be up for another feed soon.
Au Revoir!
I've been stressed transitioning to this, but a good stress. I have finally realized just how much I love these kids, or kids in general. How I love taking care of them and raising them ...being a mommy, really. It's not exactly fun all the time, but nothing is supposed to be. It gives me a purpose, a reason to keep going.. fighting. I've been thinking lately how far I have come since my teens.
It was year after year I'd end up in some psych hosp. or psych program ...I don't even see my therapist anymore. Which isn't good, but I don't necessarily need it right now... I don't think. People say I have matured a lot since even a couple years ago. Which makes me happy to hear. Because I was such a mess.
I don't want to jinx anything but I think I can finally say that I am happy, and I have found my purpose in life. No matter how "cliche".
I used to think that way, think that the whole - marriage, kids, domestic shit - was an awful cliche and never wanted any part of it.
Until I met my husband... crap, I'm going to get mushy. Stupid hormones...
It was almost like I could feel my maternal clock ticking, saying, it's tiiiime. When I met him, I knew. I just knew. I even had dreams after we met that I was pregnant and I'd wake up convinced that I was...even though there was no possibility at that time ..lol
It's strange. Life's strange.
I'm trying to let go and not be so scared anymore. My confidence seems to be coming back.
I think I will leave it off at that. I am tired and Rileigh will probably be up for another feed soon.
Au Revoir!