Jesus Christ..Superstar..
I need to learn how to keep up with things.
Boy who i met at the movies...dated kinda, nothing really, he liked me, i did not really so much. there was a slight physical attraction, but i didnt like kissing him. and i decided that someone who uses fucking as an adjective everytime he describes something and really has nothing more to talk about expect bitchy comments on EVERYTHING isnt too cool.
i find the real winners, i really do.
then tuesday a peculiar thing happened. i heard from someone i had not heard from in quite some time. it brought back so many memories and feelings. it was scary. a few minutes of small talk took the awkward unease away. the we started talking about things that we did and jokes that we had and thats when it hit me. while i missed this kid and thought about him often, actually talking to him again was a thing that i never thought would happen and now it was again. he said who he was and i would have fallen down had i not been sitting already.
and then when he said that he missed me too, i didnt feel so foolish for dwelling on the past for so long. i never got over this kid and i never liked anyone else after him, not that i had many wonderful options. as ive said and said before...the only straight boys that like me have serious problems. hell, my date for homecoming is a gay man, but i adore him.
but i talked to him for a long time that night and it felt so good. im not going to rush into anything, i cant get hurt again. and by the same person, that would just be pathetic on my part. i have some people telling me to forget it, but they dont know what i feel like, and i told this to someone else and i loved loved loved her response. she said that this person thought with her head and sometimes you should think with your heart. and i am going to hang out with him and im going to see if what happens because i would love love to get back together with this boy, but i really dont want him to hurt me again. and he seems sincere and i think that if people are genuinely sorry that they deserve a second chance because people make mistakes.
to err is human...goddammit!
Boy who i met at the movies...dated kinda, nothing really, he liked me, i did not really so much. there was a slight physical attraction, but i didnt like kissing him. and i decided that someone who uses fucking as an adjective everytime he describes something and really has nothing more to talk about expect bitchy comments on EVERYTHING isnt too cool.
i find the real winners, i really do.
then tuesday a peculiar thing happened. i heard from someone i had not heard from in quite some time. it brought back so many memories and feelings. it was scary. a few minutes of small talk took the awkward unease away. the we started talking about things that we did and jokes that we had and thats when it hit me. while i missed this kid and thought about him often, actually talking to him again was a thing that i never thought would happen and now it was again. he said who he was and i would have fallen down had i not been sitting already.
and then when he said that he missed me too, i didnt feel so foolish for dwelling on the past for so long. i never got over this kid and i never liked anyone else after him, not that i had many wonderful options. as ive said and said before...the only straight boys that like me have serious problems. hell, my date for homecoming is a gay man, but i adore him.
but i talked to him for a long time that night and it felt so good. im not going to rush into anything, i cant get hurt again. and by the same person, that would just be pathetic on my part. i have some people telling me to forget it, but they dont know what i feel like, and i told this to someone else and i loved loved loved her response. she said that this person thought with her head and sometimes you should think with your heart. and i am going to hang out with him and im going to see if what happens because i would love love to get back together with this boy, but i really dont want him to hurt me again. and he seems sincere and i think that if people are genuinely sorry that they deserve a second chance because people make mistakes.
to err is human...goddammit!