(no subject)
You know what? Love is a funny fucking thing. Friends are a funny thing too. Sometimes you cant really trust either one. Honestly though? I'm sick of caring. I'm sick of the drama, and I'm sick of the bullshit. I dont want to be unhappy anymore. I dont. So I'm trying something new and I like it. Sue me. I'm sorry that I cant do any of this without pissing someone off. Or multiple someones off. But you know what, if you were trying to be happy, I would tell you to be happy. Not to sit in something that is not going to work and waste away until you cant feel anymore. Not to force yourself to try and be happy. You may be able to do that, but I cant. Again, so fucking sue me for it. I said I was sorry, I'd take things back if I could, but the reality of the situation is that I cant. It happened, and now its time to move on. If I lose friends over it, its not my fault. That's more towards Kris that it is Ryan, because I dont understand what the fuck I did to you to piss you off other than try to be happy. I get it if you are mad because Ryan and I arent together anymore, but how is it your concern with me? If you really feel that way, then fine, I guess we cant be bros anymore.
And to Ryan...I am sorry. Truly sorry from the bottom of my heart that I hurt you. It is important that you know that part of me will always love you, but it wasnt meant to be. You need to find someone who can treat you how you want to be treated, you need to find someone who will love you for you. You need to go out there, and find yourself and not worry about anyone else or what they think. You deserve to be happy. I'm sorry that I cant do that for you, because I deserve to be happy too. And towards the end of it all, I wasnt happy. I was hiding a lot from you, because I thought I could make these feelings go away. I tried, I tried so hard to make the sadness and the unhappiness go away, but I couldnt. That's why I had to leave. I had to figure out who I was. I still need to figure out who I am. I think you should too, because in the long run, its better this way.
Now that that's out of the way, the game on Sunday was good. I played 15+ minutes, 3 shots on goal, 2 blocked shots. I just need to remember to score next time *grins* Cause I just figured out what I get if I do. Next game is Thursday at home against Columbus, and dont worry, I've got the tally in my head. :p
Jeff and Ash should be getting something on their doorstep in the next few hours...and I of course had no idea where it could have come from...*grins*
And to Ryan...I am sorry. Truly sorry from the bottom of my heart that I hurt you. It is important that you know that part of me will always love you, but it wasnt meant to be. You need to find someone who can treat you how you want to be treated, you need to find someone who will love you for you. You need to go out there, and find yourself and not worry about anyone else or what they think. You deserve to be happy. I'm sorry that I cant do that for you, because I deserve to be happy too. And towards the end of it all, I wasnt happy. I was hiding a lot from you, because I thought I could make these feelings go away. I tried, I tried so hard to make the sadness and the unhappiness go away, but I couldnt. That's why I had to leave. I had to figure out who I was. I still need to figure out who I am. I think you should too, because in the long run, its better this way.
Now that that's out of the way, the game on Sunday was good. I played 15+ minutes, 3 shots on goal, 2 blocked shots. I just need to remember to score next time *grins* Cause I just figured out what I get if I do. Next game is Thursday at home against Columbus, and dont worry, I've got the tally in my head. :p
Jeff and Ash should be getting something on their doorstep in the next few hours...and I of course had no idea where it could have come from...*grins*