{Fic} X-Men: Having Fallen, I Reach for the Stars (Edited Junefic)
He almost left without saying goodbye. I was lucky to turn and see him slipping down the hall or I would have missed him completely. I did not want my last memory to be of his cut face and straining veins under his skin... Even so, that image will haunt my nightmares for weeks to come. I hurt anyone that I touch, draining their lives-and abilities, if it’s another mutant.
My chest aches from the rush of feelings that have overwhelmed me since the day I kissed that boy and nearly killed him. I don’t know what this means for me and I don’t think I have the courage to ask the Professor about it-not just yet.
At least... Logan reaches out to me. I can’t touch him like I want to, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I must seem a little kid in his eyes; I wish I could be something more. He tracks Dr. Grey with his gaze whenever she’s in sight and he makes blatant advances even when Scott is standing next to her. I can’t tell if she really thinks about him...in that way. I almost wish she did, maybe I could get over these feelings quicker if I knew there was no chance for my hopes.
I’ve put the dog tag he left me around my neck and tucked it beneath my shirt; I don’t plan on taking it off. I have this sense of victory in that he did not give it to anyone else; I don’t think he even talked to anyone else, besides the Professor, of course, before going. It’s such a slim hope but I hold onto it and add it to my small collection of such moments.
I wish I could be the one he watched with longing in his eyes-even curiosity... or the slightest interest. I must be so obvious... I’m just glad he continues to let me approach him. I hope he finds what he’s looking for and when he returns, that he will stay. My world has changed so much since I’ve met him. I see him as an important member of my future-whatever form that might take. For now I will continue to dream and I will focus on what the Professor and this school can teach me.
My chest aches from the rush of feelings that have overwhelmed me since the day I kissed that boy and nearly killed him. I don’t know what this means for me and I don’t think I have the courage to ask the Professor about it-not just yet.
At least... Logan reaches out to me. I can’t touch him like I want to, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I must seem a little kid in his eyes; I wish I could be something more. He tracks Dr. Grey with his gaze whenever she’s in sight and he makes blatant advances even when Scott is standing next to her. I can’t tell if she really thinks about him...in that way. I almost wish she did, maybe I could get over these feelings quicker if I knew there was no chance for my hopes.
I’ve put the dog tag he left me around my neck and tucked it beneath my shirt; I don’t plan on taking it off. I have this sense of victory in that he did not give it to anyone else; I don’t think he even talked to anyone else, besides the Professor, of course, before going. It’s such a slim hope but I hold onto it and add it to my small collection of such moments.
I wish I could be the one he watched with longing in his eyes-even curiosity... or the slightest interest. I must be so obvious... I’m just glad he continues to let me approach him. I hope he finds what he’s looking for and when he returns, that he will stay. My world has changed so much since I’ve met him. I see him as an important member of my future-whatever form that might take. For now I will continue to dream and I will focus on what the Professor and this school can teach me.