(no subject)
For a while now, I started to doubt my future.
There are a few things I've wanted in life that for some reason or another I couldn't have.
I wanted to go to an actual university, I wanted a nice big house but I wanted a trust worthy roommate. I wanted a fun house big to throw many parties. I wanted to focus on school and only work a part time job. I wanted mike to go to school with me. I wanted to live close to a lot of family and have big Christmas parties. I wanted to live in a city but live on the outskirts. Eventually once I graduated I wanted to find a good job and buy my own home once my husband and I graduated. Then finally have a child.
These are dreams and prayers I’ve had for a while now. I feel like I have been so stupid to not see the signs around me. Everything is shaping up, yet I kept looking at it as something bad.
My cousin from nyc (used to live in Orlando) Is moving to Orlando in 3 weeks! >Two weeks earlier from today my aunt offers us her place b/c she’s always traveling. So we can live there till we find a job, of course pay electric water cable ect while there which should only be 300 max our unemployment covers that and a lot more. > I hear my cousin from nyc is moving to Orlando in 3 weeks with her husband and her husband is going to ucf, She got a job transfer over to Orlando. I find this out and call her up! I tell her why don’t we find a nice big house to rent for the both of us? SHE GETS ESTATIC! She always wanted to do that but never could find anyone she trusts. We start looking for homes and we seriously found a 900 dollar 5 bedroom two stories with pool home! Only 30 min away from town. Which means 450 rent and we each get two rooms plus a guest room. ( I find deals like no tomorrow on rental homes I found my bran new never lived in 3 bedroom home I am in now for 600 a month! People never believe me, trick is to find bran new homes for rent with no appliances. We happen to lug our appliances with us! =P but of course when bargaining they don’t know that). As for a job, my cousin is going to try and get me a job in her company and unlike Ocala there are hundreds of grooming places that would take a skilled person in a heartbeat. Ocala blows for jobs.
AND I only have 8 weeks? Left in school then BOOM after my A.S. I transfer to ucf
I came to this conclusion when my sister left me this message in my inbox:
THE FATHER'S LOVE LETTER.
My Child…
You may not know me, but I know everything about you…Psalm 139:1 I know when you sit down and when you rise up …Psalm 139:2 I am familiar with all your ways …Psalm 139:3 Even the very hairs on your head are numbered…Matthew 10:29-31 For you were made in my image …Genesis 1:27 In me you live and move and have your being…Acts 17:28 For you are my offspring…Acts 17:28 I knew you even before you were conceived …Jeremiah 1:4-5 I chose you when I planned creation …Ephesians 1:11-12 You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book…Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live…Acts 17:26 You are fearfully and wonderfully made…Psalm 139:14 I knit you together in your mother's womb …Psalm 139:13 And brought you forth on the day you were born …Psalm 71:6 I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me…John 8:41-44 I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love …1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you …1 John 3:1 Simply because you are my child and I am your Father …1 John 3:1 I offer you more than your earthly father ever could …Matthew 7:11 For I am the perfect father …Matthew 5:48 Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand…James 1:17 For I am your provider and I meet all your needs …Matthew 6:31-33 My plan for your future has always been filled with hope …Jeremiah 29:11 Because I love you with an everlasting love …Jeremiah 31:3 My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore ...Psalms 139:17-18 And I rejoice over you with singing ...Zephaniah 3:17 I will never stop doing good to you …Jeremiah 32:40 For you are my treasured possession ...Exodus 19:5 I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul …Jeremiah 32:41 And I want to show you great and marvelous things …Jeremiah 33:3 If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me …Deuteronomy 4:29 Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart …Psalm 37:4 For it is I who gave you those desires …Philippians 2:13 I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine …Ephesians 3:20 For I am your greatest encourager …2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles …2 Corinthians 1:3-4 When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you …Psalm 34:18 As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart …Isaiah 40:11 One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes …Revelation 21:3-4 And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth …Revelation 21:3-4 I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus …John 17:23 For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed …John 17:26 He is the exact representation of my being …Hebrews 1:3 He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you…Romans 8:31 And to tell you that I am not counting your sins …2 Corinthians 5:18-19 Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled …2 Corinthians 5:18-19 His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you…1 John 4:10 I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love …Romans 8:31-32 If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me …1 John 2:23 And nothing will ever separate you from my love again …Romans 8:38-39 Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen …Luke 15:7 I have always been Father, and will always be Father …Ephesians 3:14-15 My question is…Will you be my child? …John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you …Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad. Almighty God
Yes I cried, but things have gone badly before and they always end up BETTER. We lost our home in South Carolina but we were lonely and miserable so we lost that and moved here when my mom needed us the most. Our job here is done and now we move on it’s that simple. We aren’t loosing anything we can only gain.
I've suffered a lot in my life but god always makes things fair and blesses me for that pain. I suffered a lot living with my parents, i had been dragged by my hair, beaten till i feel asleep, but god sent me mike a man who saved me from that world, who came like a knight and defended me from those who would hurt me. telling me clearly " noone will ever hurt you again" that truly loves me and everyday literally fills my world with I love you's and kisses all over my face when i awake.
God has always been fair, i just have to be patient. my family is untouched, my health is great, so evil took our finances and distroyed it hoping to distroy our hope. We will suceed and over come this.