my life... in a nutshell.
i'm convinced my life is on a downward spiral towards the sewer, and it smells. i really jsut don't see anything getting better... ever... i just want to be back when i was without a care, and girls were jsut friends. i'm convinced that girls are the #1 cause of all guy breakdowns. i mean we don' break down that much, well i don't i just kinda hang around, let what happens happen. i just wish something would happen. life is suddenly uninteresting, and i hate it. nothing fun ever happens, and if it does, its quick, then... its done. i want it to go back when everyone had fun being together and now its like, i want to be with him!!!! or i need sex, or those kinds of things. just shut up! i mean damn. first of all even if you want sex... you're definitly not gonna get it, and if you're not looking for it, it comes. now i'm not saying at all that i'm some expert or anything like that, thats just from my past experiences. oh and if you do like someone, for god sakes... tell them. see the playing hard to get can be cool for a while, but we grow to hate it. its like i like him , i'm a walk over here, and see if he looks at me. just come straight out and say... you're awesome, i really want to get to know you better, or something along those lines, i just can't stand girls sometimes, i mean its not directed at anyone, in fact at the moment i'm not even having this problem, but for a while i was, and i looked back, and i figured, why was i mad at this person, then i looked, i wasnt even mad at them, it was me i was mad at. if i had come right out and said hey i want to be with you or like i said before i want to get to know you better, why didnt i do that. yeah a recap of my summer was in the update...lets see how many girls have either played hard to get or just plain didnt like me when i liked them... 1, the same one, 2, 3, 4, yeah there's probably more i wouldnt be surprised, i think i'm just going to stay away from girls unless they come to me, thats my new philosphy, will it work? who the fuck knows, but i know i can't keep tearing my own feelings in different directions. the way i see it college will copme soon, i'll be out of this hellhole, and into new fun surroundings. i'm not saying i wont miss some people cuz i will, but just everything about virginia beach. i cant stand it. i mean heres an example. girls go down to the beach to "look" at guys, nothing else, not even talk to them in 9 cases out of 10, guys on the other hand go down to the beach to meet girls, i found out very quickly this obviously doesn't work. ~sigh~ i just want to be able to sit here and have fun, and from the way i'm looking at it right now, all it is is work...
(wow i sidetracked)
(wow i sidetracked)