Loathing it all....
i really hate it that i don't drink sometimes. i mean sure its smart that i don't and all that, but i see al my friends doing it and they seem to have so much fun. and they're always trying to push me into either doing that or smking pot, in which case i don't want to do either. i just want it to be like long ago when nobody did any of this and we all just chilled around. those were the good old days. but now its like lets go to mikes house all get drunk and sit around. thats not fun!! how could it be? think about it, i mean sure i don't know what its like... but still... i just wish they wouldn't do it all the time, everywhere they go, i just want to hang around with ppl and the only ones i found i can do that with.... is nobody. and i mena i know its my choice i don't drink and i don't smoke and i know its their choice to drink or smoke. it just irks me and i really wish it didnt, cuz i feel like i hurt ppl becasue of it. i just want to stay home if all ppl are going to do is that. i still feel like something is missing from my life.... but i cant quite put a finger on it. i wish i could, i would go and solve it. SSSSSSIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i guess i'll go loathe alone now, i've gotten very good at it;)