well look who it is....
Fancy meeting you here....NOT!
It's been a long journey since I've last typed my thoughts, and something tells me it's probably for the best.
I'm pretty sure most of my thoughts are better off unheard.
Right now,im still struggling with the fact of getting help mentally, and its not working.
Sure the whole getting loaded up on meds thing works, but then it just makes it so you cant think or do anything yourself.
Even when i am afraid, its like its not there, and it gets missed from time to time.
Fear is one of my greatest battles....
Everyone has fears....I have lots of things that aren't necessarily fear, but it sure knows how to trigger some anxiety.
Lately its as though my list is growing larger as my anxiety is starting to become unmanageable.
It over powers my slumber and haunts my dreams,but i sleep a lot to try to hide from my fears i have when im awake.
Maybe i am just crazy, but how will I ever know....
some of the things on this "list"
*bright lighting
*walking down busy roads
*public speaking
*forgetting to breath in my sleep (weird i know...)
*deers...(dont ask....)
*spiders
*heights
*talking to people...unless its people i communicate with on a regular basis
*high ways...
*being shot
and most of all....
That i'll never be truely happy....
not just im doped up on 8 pills a day to try to accomplish some of these things happy, but actually happy because everything feels right for a given moment so it triggers emotions in my brain that will cause me to smile.
.....oh look....a list of assholes...
haha....a joke that probably not many people will actually get, but its okay.
time to go hide behind my book and take myself to another universe and escape reality..
Think i'll go far?
Maybe i'll go beyond the wall as my dance with dragons continues...
....and so it goes.
It's been a long journey since I've last typed my thoughts, and something tells me it's probably for the best.
I'm pretty sure most of my thoughts are better off unheard.
Right now,im still struggling with the fact of getting help mentally, and its not working.
Sure the whole getting loaded up on meds thing works, but then it just makes it so you cant think or do anything yourself.
Even when i am afraid, its like its not there, and it gets missed from time to time.
Fear is one of my greatest battles....
Everyone has fears....I have lots of things that aren't necessarily fear, but it sure knows how to trigger some anxiety.
Lately its as though my list is growing larger as my anxiety is starting to become unmanageable.
It over powers my slumber and haunts my dreams,but i sleep a lot to try to hide from my fears i have when im awake.
Maybe i am just crazy, but how will I ever know....
some of the things on this "list"
*bright lighting
*walking down busy roads
*public speaking
*forgetting to breath in my sleep (weird i know...)
*deers...(dont ask....)
*spiders
*heights
*talking to people...unless its people i communicate with on a regular basis
*high ways...
*being shot
and most of all....
That i'll never be truely happy....
not just im doped up on 8 pills a day to try to accomplish some of these things happy, but actually happy because everything feels right for a given moment so it triggers emotions in my brain that will cause me to smile.
.....oh look....a list of assholes...
haha....a joke that probably not many people will actually get, but its okay.
time to go hide behind my book and take myself to another universe and escape reality..
Think i'll go far?
Maybe i'll go beyond the wall as my dance with dragons continues...
....and so it goes.