002 - Bargains, barters, and blood.
I knew they'd been stealing from my supply cabinets. Boomslang skin, gillyweed, powdered bicorn horn...
I'd feel positively vindicated if I wasn't dead. As it is, I merely feel victimized by a trio of prepubescent thieves.
How these novels sold 300 million copies in thirty languages is beyond me. Reading them in English is bad enough.
...
After some thought on the issue, I've decided to keep them in my possession indefinitely.
For those of you who are bursting with questions regarding my involvement in any of this Harry Potter nonsense: I'm afraid you're going to be greatly disappointed. I see no reason why my life story should be public knowledge any more so than it has already become.
Miss Hamby, you may have this bottle of Tru Blood back; there's little else I can do to study it, given my current situation. I did attempt to enhance the flavor as per your request, but I have absolutely no intention of tasting it myself to find out if my actions were beneficial. You may be your own damned guinea pig.
As for the rest of you - that is, those of you who woke up yesterday with that horribly inexplicable nauseated feeling (a hangover, if you will): you may be quite interested to know that I have in my possession several bottles of a healing elixir which will cure even the most devastating of hangovers. My word as a gentleman, of course.
I do hope you have something to exchange. I don't work for peanuts.
There is one exception: I will provide the infirmary with two bottles and instruct you how to use them, as a show of good faith. In exchange, I want a petition to the "admiral" to keep what few ingredients I have fully stocked, and my wand returned to me. I understand that Mozenrath was able to keep his gauntlet. Render my wand unable to channel magic, but give it over into my possession, and I will provide the infirmary with two bottles of this elixir each month.
- S. Snape
I'd feel positively vindicated if I wasn't dead. As it is, I merely feel victimized by a trio of prepubescent thieves.
How these novels sold 300 million copies in thirty languages is beyond me. Reading them in English is bad enough.
...
After some thought on the issue, I've decided to keep them in my possession indefinitely.
For those of you who are bursting with questions regarding my involvement in any of this Harry Potter nonsense: I'm afraid you're going to be greatly disappointed. I see no reason why my life story should be public knowledge any more so than it has already become.
Miss Hamby, you may have this bottle of Tru Blood back; there's little else I can do to study it, given my current situation. I did attempt to enhance the flavor as per your request, but I have absolutely no intention of tasting it myself to find out if my actions were beneficial. You may be your own damned guinea pig.
As for the rest of you - that is, those of you who woke up yesterday with that horribly inexplicable nauseated feeling (a hangover, if you will): you may be quite interested to know that I have in my possession several bottles of a healing elixir which will cure even the most devastating of hangovers. My word as a gentleman, of course.
I do hope you have something to exchange. I don't work for peanuts.
There is one exception: I will provide the infirmary with two bottles and instruct you how to use them, as a show of good faith. In exchange, I want a petition to the "admiral" to keep what few ingredients I have fully stocked, and my wand returned to me. I understand that Mozenrath was able to keep his gauntlet. Render my wand unable to channel magic, but give it over into my possession, and I will provide the infirmary with two bottles of this elixir each month.
- S. Snape