old burdens; tired of carryin
sometimes it's really hard to explain what happened in your dreams. well, I guess they can truly only make sense to you. or maybe it's just my problem.
ghosts. they haunt me still. old perceptions, friends, lovers, acquaintances, ideas. all of it seemed to swell up this morning. this one pained me the most. It is from such a long time ago. I had grown over it. a vine-like massy plant that grows and envelopes it and then keeps growing into a huge tree. but I suppose, even if one feels healed and content, it still lurks there as a reminder. examined further: a cruel joke. myself hurting myself, unconsciously. the situation: dream world, dream people, oh a familiar face, hey how's it going.. mm yeah not bad, cool. (the ghost brings up the past, not in a longing to go back way, but just oh-so casually in conversation, this is what i think/feel/felt, etc.) hm.. you know that's great (ouch, why are you doing this?) umm.. you know actually I have to go(your presence now hurts me). walking away still pressuring that feeling down my back following me. I don't want to hear that, that's not very nice to bring up now, just forget about whatever happened between us. and you know it's still just awkwardly odd between us for no real reason. not uncomfortable.. just.. once looking at it from an outside perspective, just kind of funny how it works. in the end though, it doesn't bother me. it's nothing really. but that dream somehow made me cringe and feel weak.
ghosts. they haunt me still. old perceptions, friends, lovers, acquaintances, ideas. all of it seemed to swell up this morning. this one pained me the most. It is from such a long time ago. I had grown over it. a vine-like massy plant that grows and envelopes it and then keeps growing into a huge tree. but I suppose, even if one feels healed and content, it still lurks there as a reminder. examined further: a cruel joke. myself hurting myself, unconsciously. the situation: dream world, dream people, oh a familiar face, hey how's it going.. mm yeah not bad, cool. (the ghost brings up the past, not in a longing to go back way, but just oh-so casually in conversation, this is what i think/feel/felt, etc.) hm.. you know that's great (ouch, why are you doing this?) umm.. you know actually I have to go(your presence now hurts me). walking away still pressuring that feeling down my back following me. I don't want to hear that, that's not very nice to bring up now, just forget about whatever happened between us. and you know it's still just awkwardly odd between us for no real reason. not uncomfortable.. just.. once looking at it from an outside perspective, just kind of funny how it works. in the end though, it doesn't bother me. it's nothing really. but that dream somehow made me cringe and feel weak.