5 Stages Of Grief - fic
Title: 5 Stages Of Grief
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Parings: Jack/Ianto
Warnings: Angst and mentions of death
Death effects everyone differently. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression.
No matter which, or all, in the end you’ll find acceptance.
I look up from the paperwork on my desk and watch my team. Tosh is sitting at her workstation, her shoulders are slumped and I watch as she wipes her eyes over and over again. She blows her nose quietly. She looked around the Hub slowly and I catch a look at her face. It’s pale and drawn, her eyes are sunken in and under them are bags, proclaiming her lack of sleep. Her nose and eyes are red from crying.
She’s lost will, life. She’s just a shell filled with depression.
I look to Gwen. She’s typing up a report on her computer but her lips are moving in a silent motion. She’s praying. It’s been a long time since I haven’t looked into her eyes and not seen an air of desperation. She spent three full days cleaning the main part of the Hub. She muttered the entire time. Whispering prayers and talking to herself.
Everywhere she looks for something to bargain. For him, for his life.
I hear heavy footsteps and turn my head. I watch Owen stomp up from the autopsy room and collapse in his chair.
A deep scowl is etched into his face. The same scowl that’s always there. He’s still angry at himself. He can’t even look me in the eye. He still blames himself everyday. Because he wasn’t quite fast enough. Because he wasn’t quite good enough. Ask him, he’ll give you a reason to blame himself, to be angry.
I sympathies with them.
They’re grieving. For no reason. He’s not gone. He’s not dead. And I will find him. I will find Ianto Jones.
Tosh glanced up at Owen, he stood next to her, his face cloudy.
“Jack’s not doing any better”, he muttered, unable to look at Tosh.
“No”, she agreed softly.
Gwen wandered over and together they watch Jack sitting alone in his office. The place next to his right side was noticeably empty.
“He still thinks - ?”.
Tosh nodded sadly.
“How long before…”.
“He snaps back to normal?”, Owen finished.
Gwen shrugged, “Yeah, I guess”.
“Weeks, months, years? Don’t know”.
“I miss him”, Tosh murmured.
Owen glanced at her and she caught his eye. It was the first time he’d looked someone in the eye since Ianto’s death.
Tosh saw the deep waves of anguish and guilt in his eyes and it caused her to tear up again.
“I miss him too”, Owen choked out.
Gwen nodded, “Me too”.
“What do we do?”, Tosh whispered.
“We wait”, Owen took a deep breath, “Wait for him to stop denying”.
“And then?”
Never had Owen sounded so much like Jack, “We accept it. Together”
They looked back at Jack, a broken reflection of their once powerful leader.
Tosh nodded, “Ok, we wait. For Jack. For Ianto”.