a stranger in the eyes of the maker
oh, i went to my first REAl party last night. 'twas fun though. i'm now confident that i can be in a situation where alcoholic beverages are being consumed, and not fall under the pressure to have one. also, kids at my school are actually pretty darn smart. they all have designated drivers. one person in particular was very aware to staying sober. if only he were my boyfriend. he really impressed me by goign around and asking all of his drunken friends if they had a ride home, and just watching out for everyone. oh, wow. he was th etop of the pyramid. i don't want anyone but him. i mean, i'm sur ehe could find better girls, but he was my IDEAL guy. a boyfriend i only oculd dream about. i had never met anyone in my life that cared so much about making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich perfectly. the right kind of peanut butter. the right kind of jelly. cut exactly how i cut my own. that's something i had only fantasized about. (not in a kinky way though.) oh wow. i miss him. it would be one thing if he were an asshole, but he wasn't. he came right up and hugged me. it wasn't even awkward. oh wow, this will take a while to get over. i wish i oculd just be good friends with him at least. i think it could work. oh, i'm so upset. oh, i wish it would have worked out. i think it could have, btu now it's officially over. there's no wishing at 11:11 that we can get back together. no. it's officially over. oh man oh man. i'm glad friends don't just break up with you. i'd say i'd most likely kill myself if my friends just said "i don't think i can see you anymore." hmm...sounds familiar. well, i need to get ready for carolines. but, let me just re-state how accomplished i feel for goign to a party lol. and all of the junior girls were sooo nice too.