Gale
Currently afraid of:
Facing myself
Taking my own advice
Currently grateful for:
The convenience of circumstance
Frozen moments
Currently pissed off about:
The conflict of reality and romance
Experience vs. intuition
Random thoughts:
I remember getting to my room and noticing the view out of my window and thinking "Wow, what a dump." But now that I think about it, my view of this random street with no sidewalk and a fence on one side is just as full of vibrance as any postcard view. It might not have the overwhelming splendor of a beachfront, the quiet dignity of a wooded thicket, or the austere majesty of a big-city skyline, but there's something in the simplicity that gets to me. It's so starkly reminiscent of all the things that come to mind when you think of this age. At night, you look out over onto the street, and the single streetlight casts a pale glow over everything directly around it, and becomes rapidly dimmer the further you get away from it. The road itself is filled with signs of wear and tear, weeds and grass creeping into the cracks from the side. You can see the dark spots where fresh asphalt was filled in, and it just doesn't look quite right. Beyond the road itself, the brush is wildly overgrown and you see bits and pieces of litter strewn about in the blades of grass. Sure, cars will come by every now and then, but they pass by so quickly that they don't really contribute anything to the scene.
I watched a movie earlier today where a man was sitting in field in the middle of nowhere at night. There weren't any clouds in the sky, and there was a full moon out... one so big and bright that it bathed the entire area in a silvery aura. A breeze was blowing through the field, rustling the bushes, catching the tree limbs, and rippling the grass. It all seemed so peaceful and serene...
I want to experience that some time in my life.
I hate being bound by materialistic needs and tendencies.
I hate being driven by a need to defy convention and stereotypes.
I hate putting myself into vicious cycles on purpose.
I hate every three steps back that I take whenever I take one forward.
I hate having to fight for inner peace, and then losing it for no reason.
I hate not caring about anything about myself personally, while feeling so incredibly strongly about other things.
I hate not knowing what the hell I really want to do, and why I'm here.
Hm... I have no idea where that all came from. I was just trying to think of something to write after the midnight field bit, and I came up with this.
Maybe it's time for bed...
She's saying...
"Love is like a barren place
and reaching out for human faith
is like a journey I just don't have a map for"
So baby's gonna take a dive and push the shift to overdrive,
and send a signal that she's hangin' all her hopes on the stars...
What a pleasant dream...