War of Attrition
At first I was less than thrilled with the new building. The bathroom on the ground floor is shared between businesses (and anyone who walks in). This means that instead of a nice private bathroom back at the office, we had something frequently covered in shit, vomit, or foot prints.
I resented this when I found myself in inescapable need of a proper toilet, one that hadn't been... decorated. Then suddenly it occurred to me: This building had three stories. Perhaps the next floor up had bathrooms in the same place. So I strode into the elevator, hit 2, and stepped out. Sure enough, glorious wonders, another bathroom! And it was clean!
The only odd thing about the second floor was that it felt very uneven underfoot, and the floor seemed to "give". The unevenness I attributed to an earthquake we had awhile back (yeah, the epic one in a previous post). A small price to pay for pristine porcelain.
It became routine to ascend to the next floor for such things when today I discovered floor 2's toilet full of vomit or extremely liquidy diarrhea. Disgruntled, I retreated to the elevator and hit #3.
Huzzah! The promised land! The floor up here genuinely wobbled underfoot, giving one the impression that he might likely fall through the floor if he didn't go about his business quickly enough, causing him to crash down through two identical yet soiled lavatories before coming to rest, spreadeagled, un-pantsed, and broken on the bottom floor.
If the elevator doesn't give out on the way up first, that is.
...and I'm out of bathrooms. If something happens to #3 then the Empire is doomed.
I resented this when I found myself in inescapable need of a proper toilet, one that hadn't been... decorated. Then suddenly it occurred to me: This building had three stories. Perhaps the next floor up had bathrooms in the same place. So I strode into the elevator, hit 2, and stepped out. Sure enough, glorious wonders, another bathroom! And it was clean!
The only odd thing about the second floor was that it felt very uneven underfoot, and the floor seemed to "give". The unevenness I attributed to an earthquake we had awhile back (yeah, the epic one in a previous post). A small price to pay for pristine porcelain.
It became routine to ascend to the next floor for such things when today I discovered floor 2's toilet full of vomit or extremely liquidy diarrhea. Disgruntled, I retreated to the elevator and hit #3.
Huzzah! The promised land! The floor up here genuinely wobbled underfoot, giving one the impression that he might likely fall through the floor if he didn't go about his business quickly enough, causing him to crash down through two identical yet soiled lavatories before coming to rest, spreadeagled, un-pantsed, and broken on the bottom floor.
If the elevator doesn't give out on the way up first, that is.
...and I'm out of bathrooms. If something happens to #3 then the Empire is doomed.