(no subject)
Hello Mr. Livejournal,
I've been neglecting you, Mr.Livejournal. I wonder why. Maybe it's because I was never one of talking to quite possibly dozens of hundreds of people. I suppose that's a silly thing. I am uptight I guess. Or maybe I just don't have any motivation to sit down and write. To be honest, Mr.Livejournal, I've been feeling pretty down. I know, I know sounds impossible, but it's true. It seems like I have no friends anymore. I'm stuck in the same repetition I was in before, and even though I know that's where I am, Mr.Livejournal, I still can't seem to snap my self out of it. Isn't that peculiar? I would imagine it is. Do I do anything? Maybe I don't realize it. But it seems to me that I hardly ever go out like I used to. It's impossible for me to figure out if it's due to me, my (few) friend's apathy, or just a coincidence. Not knowing also makes me feel down, because when you know a problem and a cause you have an easier time fixing it, but when you can't figure out why something is the way it is it's highly annoying. Mr. Livejournal, am I showing more signs of Grandiosity? I suppose I am, ever since Dr.Page told me about it, I can't help but notice it every day of my life. And while it's good to know why I do certain things, it's the equivalent of having someone tell you that you have white-stuff on your lips but you can't get it off. I'm not saying I'm anything like Tony Shaloub in Monk, but I always notice myself trying to figure something out that no one could possibly figure out, or making a decision based of an assumption I have of someones yet-to-be-determined answer. It's a very vicious cycle, or so Dr.Page says.
Second semester of school started monday. I still dislike it there. It feels even more cold and institutional than before. It's a very de-humanized school I think. Plus being on academic Probation is annoying, and taking two classes I've already had makes this semester already seem like a recurring dream. Only this dream sucks, and I have to go to Coolidge Corner at 9 in the morning. My parents have been giving me trouble too, for some reason once you reach a certain age in this family, it seems that the only tactic they use is you yell and berate you, instead of constructively talk to you. It almost makes me want to fail for spite. I'm a very spiteful, bitter, and cynical person, Mr. Livejournal. Why do you suppose that is? Could that be why I have such trouble making and keeping friends? Mr. Livejournal, find me people to be friends with.
I'm settin' out to get out of here.
But to where?
I want to go far, but that would mean
That I would have to put my things in a jar
What if my trip was a short one?
Before I knew it I would be done.
Should the pace I set be fast?
Or should I just go slow?
I'd get there last, but at least I would know
how to go, with the flow.
That was a gift for you, Mr. Livejournal. Treasure it, keep it near and dear. Simple rhyme scheme poems are a very gifts from me indeed, Mr. Livejournal. You should learn to appreciate them.
Well, Mr. Livejournal, I suppose I should get back to doing nothing. See you in about 3 months when I write again
~ Connor
I've been neglecting you, Mr.Livejournal. I wonder why. Maybe it's because I was never one of talking to quite possibly dozens of hundreds of people. I suppose that's a silly thing. I am uptight I guess. Or maybe I just don't have any motivation to sit down and write. To be honest, Mr.Livejournal, I've been feeling pretty down. I know, I know sounds impossible, but it's true. It seems like I have no friends anymore. I'm stuck in the same repetition I was in before, and even though I know that's where I am, Mr.Livejournal, I still can't seem to snap my self out of it. Isn't that peculiar? I would imagine it is. Do I do anything? Maybe I don't realize it. But it seems to me that I hardly ever go out like I used to. It's impossible for me to figure out if it's due to me, my (few) friend's apathy, or just a coincidence. Not knowing also makes me feel down, because when you know a problem and a cause you have an easier time fixing it, but when you can't figure out why something is the way it is it's highly annoying. Mr. Livejournal, am I showing more signs of Grandiosity? I suppose I am, ever since Dr.Page told me about it, I can't help but notice it every day of my life. And while it's good to know why I do certain things, it's the equivalent of having someone tell you that you have white-stuff on your lips but you can't get it off. I'm not saying I'm anything like Tony Shaloub in Monk, but I always notice myself trying to figure something out that no one could possibly figure out, or making a decision based of an assumption I have of someones yet-to-be-determined answer. It's a very vicious cycle, or so Dr.Page says.
Second semester of school started monday. I still dislike it there. It feels even more cold and institutional than before. It's a very de-humanized school I think. Plus being on academic Probation is annoying, and taking two classes I've already had makes this semester already seem like a recurring dream. Only this dream sucks, and I have to go to Coolidge Corner at 9 in the morning. My parents have been giving me trouble too, for some reason once you reach a certain age in this family, it seems that the only tactic they use is you yell and berate you, instead of constructively talk to you. It almost makes me want to fail for spite. I'm a very spiteful, bitter, and cynical person, Mr. Livejournal. Why do you suppose that is? Could that be why I have such trouble making and keeping friends? Mr. Livejournal, find me people to be friends with.
I'm settin' out to get out of here.
But to where?
I want to go far, but that would mean
That I would have to put my things in a jar
What if my trip was a short one?
Before I knew it I would be done.
Should the pace I set be fast?
Or should I just go slow?
I'd get there last, but at least I would know
how to go, with the flow.
That was a gift for you, Mr. Livejournal. Treasure it, keep it near and dear. Simple rhyme scheme poems are a very gifts from me indeed, Mr. Livejournal. You should learn to appreciate them.
Well, Mr. Livejournal, I suppose I should get back to doing nothing. See you in about 3 months when I write again
~ Connor