Step aside, Chuck.
Okay, so I've been fairly certain for some time now that some of the weird things that my body does from time to time are due to a surplus of testosterone.
Irregular periods? Check (and boy is that an understatement).
Oily skin and acne? Check.
Weight gain? Check.
Strong sex drive? Check (and again, understatement).
Hirsutism? Check (but not as bad as it could be, for which I'm thankful. Most of the hair is very fine and greyish so it's not overtly visible).
I also tend to put on muscle very quickly whenever I do any kind of muscular exercise like weight-lifting. Since starting this job and running the stairs that come with it, my thigh muscles have redeveloped to their old massive marching-band levels. The elevator door-- which I open and close several dozen times a day, and carries a pull of 60-70lbs-- has brought my biceps and triceps right on back. I am, in a word, pretty butch right now. ^__^
The only symptom I haven't really experienced much is increased aggression... up until recently. Right now, right this minute?
GOD I WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHING.
Those of you who've known me for a while know that I'm the most laid-back, easygoing person in the world, and that I'm fairly feminine. I'm emotional, I love shiny things, I can talk a donkey's ear off given a topic I care about, I base a lot of decisions on intuition rather than cold logic, I can talk to six people at once without losing the thread of any of the conversations, I'm soft and gentle and unambitious. In other words, a girl.
For the past few weeks, however, I've been feeling steadily more and more masculine. It's not just me noticing this, either. It's not just boys checking me out on the bus anymore, if you catch my drift, and it's not just boys I feel tingly for. Boys I'm attracted to still outnumber girls by at least 10 to 1, but that's a much smaller differential than usual.
Today I feel very, very manly. I can only do one thing at once, and am irritated when I'm distracted from whatever task I'm trying to finish. I talk in short, brusque sentences, which stick to the topic at hand. Running the stairs, even though it makes my lungs burn, makes me feel powerful. My center of balance has shifted higher and my hips sway less when I walk. Even my posture has changed to be practically ruler-straight.
I'm also clearly looking for a fight, and not just a verbal one. I want to punch something, or someone, and I'm just waiting for an excuse.
Of course I'm not going to actually do that, so relax. I'm not about to physically assault a customer over a perceived verbal slight, no worries.
But I really, really want to, and it's fascinating the heck out of me to watch myself chafe at the bit like this.
I'm not viewing this as a negative development, and I don't think it's permanent. It's just really freaking interesting to see which parts of my personality are consistent no matter what my hormones do, and which can change from something as simple as this.
^______^
Irregular periods? Check (and boy is that an understatement).
Oily skin and acne? Check.
Weight gain? Check.
Strong sex drive? Check (and again, understatement).
Hirsutism? Check (but not as bad as it could be, for which I'm thankful. Most of the hair is very fine and greyish so it's not overtly visible).
I also tend to put on muscle very quickly whenever I do any kind of muscular exercise like weight-lifting. Since starting this job and running the stairs that come with it, my thigh muscles have redeveloped to their old massive marching-band levels. The elevator door-- which I open and close several dozen times a day, and carries a pull of 60-70lbs-- has brought my biceps and triceps right on back. I am, in a word, pretty butch right now. ^__^
The only symptom I haven't really experienced much is increased aggression... up until recently. Right now, right this minute?
GOD I WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHING.
Those of you who've known me for a while know that I'm the most laid-back, easygoing person in the world, and that I'm fairly feminine. I'm emotional, I love shiny things, I can talk a donkey's ear off given a topic I care about, I base a lot of decisions on intuition rather than cold logic, I can talk to six people at once without losing the thread of any of the conversations, I'm soft and gentle and unambitious. In other words, a girl.
For the past few weeks, however, I've been feeling steadily more and more masculine. It's not just me noticing this, either. It's not just boys checking me out on the bus anymore, if you catch my drift, and it's not just boys I feel tingly for. Boys I'm attracted to still outnumber girls by at least 10 to 1, but that's a much smaller differential than usual.
Today I feel very, very manly. I can only do one thing at once, and am irritated when I'm distracted from whatever task I'm trying to finish. I talk in short, brusque sentences, which stick to the topic at hand. Running the stairs, even though it makes my lungs burn, makes me feel powerful. My center of balance has shifted higher and my hips sway less when I walk. Even my posture has changed to be practically ruler-straight.
I'm also clearly looking for a fight, and not just a verbal one. I want to punch something, or someone, and I'm just waiting for an excuse.
Of course I'm not going to actually do that, so relax. I'm not about to physically assault a customer over a perceived verbal slight, no worries.
But I really, really want to, and it's fascinating the heck out of me to watch myself chafe at the bit like this.
I'm not viewing this as a negative development, and I don't think it's permanent. It's just really freaking interesting to see which parts of my personality are consistent no matter what my hormones do, and which can change from something as simple as this.
^______^