chapters
Its been a long ride. For every door that closes a new one opens. Amanda and I broke up about what 2 months ago now (at least) I think it was for the best now that its done and over.....well the cheating and lying werent exactly great relationship stuff. It seems like ive been put off younger girls to...amanda was 19...to young for me....to much of " i dont care, and I know whats best" when really if your in a relationship theres two of you, and if there is a problem you create a solution....together. oh well. I won't lie I was in love with her to,,,,but the fights were getting super bad. I was frustrated that I had been supporting her for so long when its vancouver, it takes a day to find a job there. not only that but my friend gave her a job and she managed to fuck it up to. I found out when I came back to tilly that she had told her mom that I had put her out on the streets in vancouver.... it really upset me cause I sacrificed alot to keep her under a roof with food on the table. She hasnt explained why she lied about getting beat up...or she did but it doesnt make anuy sense " I wasnt ready to have you here yet" ok well saying your in the hospital is going to what, make me stay in vancouver, BS. okay so the gist is me and amanda arent together, chapter closed.
new chapter: sooooo seattle chicky.....yes thatd be jojo. she messaged me right before i came back to ontario to meet my father and check on amanda. Also from POF....ummm kinda scared of POF people....but she seems all right....I wish I had stayed in BC so I could cross the border and see her (or jump it depending on what happens)I feel this amazing connection with her. I mean like better than chantelle. yes i said it, BETTER than chantelle. like I dont know I feel like im glowing from the inside out, and my smile will split my face open, I can actually see the stars in my eyes again (long story) when I talk to her im on fire, like really on fire...I dont know how to explain it, but things feel right. soooo....im pursuing with caution I guess...okay fuck the caution.... without caution. I want her to trust me though. shes been hurt.... a lot....so I understand the whole hesitance on anything stance, but at the same time I really want her to trust me..so Im trying to figure that part out. How do you tell somebody your totally into them, when you have never met...but the feeling is sooo dam right its driving me insane. I was going to move to seattle in like two years, well im planning to move by the end of the summer. I should have my birth certificate half way through july, and I should have money to get back to bc by then. Bree said I could stay with her for a couple till i work things out....oh and good news BREES GOTTA GF....yay....amanda cupples, also an adorable person. so then i can get across the border, and apply for a work visa and passport.....move to seattle and start a life for myself..... at least jo will be there (as a friend if not anything more) Johns planning on getting a boat and taking off, and ill be three hours away from my vancouver friends/family (ummm chelle,winn and sarah are my moms, and bree is the family pet, dont ask) so I can still visit.....as for family family, sounds cold but i dont want to be near them at all.....nope never near them....
so *raises drink* heres to a new life without the drama of fucked up asshole ex's and an anti gay sister.
cheers
new chapter: sooooo seattle chicky.....yes thatd be jojo. she messaged me right before i came back to ontario to meet my father and check on amanda. Also from POF....ummm kinda scared of POF people....but she seems all right....I wish I had stayed in BC so I could cross the border and see her (or jump it depending on what happens)I feel this amazing connection with her. I mean like better than chantelle. yes i said it, BETTER than chantelle. like I dont know I feel like im glowing from the inside out, and my smile will split my face open, I can actually see the stars in my eyes again (long story) when I talk to her im on fire, like really on fire...I dont know how to explain it, but things feel right. soooo....im pursuing with caution I guess...okay fuck the caution.... without caution. I want her to trust me though. shes been hurt.... a lot....so I understand the whole hesitance on anything stance, but at the same time I really want her to trust me..so Im trying to figure that part out. How do you tell somebody your totally into them, when you have never met...but the feeling is sooo dam right its driving me insane. I was going to move to seattle in like two years, well im planning to move by the end of the summer. I should have my birth certificate half way through july, and I should have money to get back to bc by then. Bree said I could stay with her for a couple till i work things out....oh and good news BREES GOTTA GF....yay....amanda cupples, also an adorable person. so then i can get across the border, and apply for a work visa and passport.....move to seattle and start a life for myself..... at least jo will be there (as a friend if not anything more) Johns planning on getting a boat and taking off, and ill be three hours away from my vancouver friends/family (ummm chelle,winn and sarah are my moms, and bree is the family pet, dont ask) so I can still visit.....as for family family, sounds cold but i dont want to be near them at all.....nope never near them....
so *raises drink* heres to a new life without the drama of fucked up asshole ex's and an anti gay sister.
cheers