Nervous
Nervous? I am beyond nervous. Can you actually fall in love with somebody in 7 months? let alone marry them in a year? Maybe Ive gone ballistic. Does she really love me back?
The questions that occupy my day.
Amanda is amazing. She understands me, supports me, lets me cry in front of her and makes sure I don't hide my face when I do it. We met on plentyoffish awhile ago. Its an online dating site. We started dating...not expecting anything serious. She had just gotten out of a relationship and I had just gotten out of one to. That relationship had torn me to pieces after the breakup so there wasn't much of the old me left....just some angry person. To get away from the memories and to heal I took off to BC. I met some lifelong friends there. actually they are the three "moms" and im the child though one is younger than me. Sarah, chelle and winn are terrific and I am happy that I took the journey. ( a 4 day ride on a greyhound bus....yeah hello soreness) anyways I flew back to ontario in december to be with amanda and get my wrist looked at. (hurt it at work) Since december we have had a lot of ups, and very few downs. My biggest thing is thinking she will find somebody else. Im not very trusting, need to work on that a lot, but the first step is realizing your fault and working on it. Anyways we want to get married in august and I am already freaking out. My anti gay sister actually approves of her....and is willing to help with the wedding, she even suggested having a bouquet of pride flowers on all the pews (if we decide to have a christian wedding, Im wiccan and she was brought up christian but doesn't follow the religion) WOW....*gives shocked face* Next month we are moving out of our friends basement and into our own apartment should be fun.......the one thing about amanda that I love is she does not give up...yeah I can be a bit pushy, actually a total bitch but she still accepts me for me. Our downs are few and far between and are a small payment for all the joy we have between them. Hopefully nothing happens.....Im living my fairytale right now and I dont want it to end.
The questions that occupy my day.
Amanda is amazing. She understands me, supports me, lets me cry in front of her and makes sure I don't hide my face when I do it. We met on plentyoffish awhile ago. Its an online dating site. We started dating...not expecting anything serious. She had just gotten out of a relationship and I had just gotten out of one to. That relationship had torn me to pieces after the breakup so there wasn't much of the old me left....just some angry person. To get away from the memories and to heal I took off to BC. I met some lifelong friends there. actually they are the three "moms" and im the child though one is younger than me. Sarah, chelle and winn are terrific and I am happy that I took the journey. ( a 4 day ride on a greyhound bus....yeah hello soreness) anyways I flew back to ontario in december to be with amanda and get my wrist looked at. (hurt it at work) Since december we have had a lot of ups, and very few downs. My biggest thing is thinking she will find somebody else. Im not very trusting, need to work on that a lot, but the first step is realizing your fault and working on it. Anyways we want to get married in august and I am already freaking out. My anti gay sister actually approves of her....and is willing to help with the wedding, she even suggested having a bouquet of pride flowers on all the pews (if we decide to have a christian wedding, Im wiccan and she was brought up christian but doesn't follow the religion) WOW....*gives shocked face* Next month we are moving out of our friends basement and into our own apartment should be fun.......the one thing about amanda that I love is she does not give up...yeah I can be a bit pushy, actually a total bitch but she still accepts me for me. Our downs are few and far between and are a small payment for all the joy we have between them. Hopefully nothing happens.....Im living my fairytale right now and I dont want it to end.