and she's down
"You're gonna hate me in about twenty minutes." Joe says blankly as he stares at the clock.
"Are you timing me?" I ask.
It appears Joe's band, Deadletter, from back in Montana has been asked to open for Atreyu on their tour this summer. Joe dropped this one me and informed me that he needed to go back to Montana much sooner than planned. At first he said within two months then he said as soon as two weeks.
I had mixed emotions, I was really happy for Joe, because his rockstar dream is coming true, but sad that it couldn't have happened sooner so that we wouldn't have gotten as emotionally involved. I deeply care about that kid. I'm gonna miss him like hell. He says he'll write and call and all that good stuff. I wish I could believe him. but, Andy said the same thing and he never spoke to me once he left. But, I assured myself that Joe and I are better friends than Andy and I ever were, and that yeah, theres hope this time.
He played me this song and told me to just listen to it:
"I'd listen to the words he'd say
but in his voice I heard decay
the plastic face forced to portray
all the insides left cold and gray
there is a place that still remains
it eats the fear it eats the pain
the sweetest price he'll have to pay
the day the whole world went away"
I just sat there underneath a pile of covers and contemplated all that was happening. Joe just smoked until he was numb. "It's easier" he said. "You have to face the emotions at somepoint." I replied. "I can be robotic about things." he countered. then my heart started racing and I fely a familiar feeling that I haven't had in a while, an anxiety attack. Joe acted apathetic. Then he reched out and held my hand and I put my head on his chest and waited for the racing to stop.
By now it was almost 3 and I was tired. I thought about walking home, but I ended up just passing out in his bed. I felt him give me a peck on the forehead and crawl into bed a little bit after that. I had the worst sleep ever. I kept waking up and sometimes I'd wrap my arms around him. Joe has very troubled sleep. I woke up this morning and our foreheads were pressed together. I just got up, got ready, smoked a cigarette, said goodbye and left. I know he's going through so much. He's made so many friends here lately that I know he'll miss. I know he misses those back in MT too.
Then I was reminded of a conversation we had earlier in the week. I was talking to Joe about love, and I said, "Love is scary because it's such a helpless feeling." And thats how I feel- helpless.
"Are you timing me?" I ask.
It appears Joe's band, Deadletter, from back in Montana has been asked to open for Atreyu on their tour this summer. Joe dropped this one me and informed me that he needed to go back to Montana much sooner than planned. At first he said within two months then he said as soon as two weeks.
I had mixed emotions, I was really happy for Joe, because his rockstar dream is coming true, but sad that it couldn't have happened sooner so that we wouldn't have gotten as emotionally involved. I deeply care about that kid. I'm gonna miss him like hell. He says he'll write and call and all that good stuff. I wish I could believe him. but, Andy said the same thing and he never spoke to me once he left. But, I assured myself that Joe and I are better friends than Andy and I ever were, and that yeah, theres hope this time.
He played me this song and told me to just listen to it:
"I'd listen to the words he'd say
but in his voice I heard decay
the plastic face forced to portray
all the insides left cold and gray
there is a place that still remains
it eats the fear it eats the pain
the sweetest price he'll have to pay
the day the whole world went away"
I just sat there underneath a pile of covers and contemplated all that was happening. Joe just smoked until he was numb. "It's easier" he said. "You have to face the emotions at somepoint." I replied. "I can be robotic about things." he countered. then my heart started racing and I fely a familiar feeling that I haven't had in a while, an anxiety attack. Joe acted apathetic. Then he reched out and held my hand and I put my head on his chest and waited for the racing to stop.
By now it was almost 3 and I was tired. I thought about walking home, but I ended up just passing out in his bed. I felt him give me a peck on the forehead and crawl into bed a little bit after that. I had the worst sleep ever. I kept waking up and sometimes I'd wrap my arms around him. Joe has very troubled sleep. I woke up this morning and our foreheads were pressed together. I just got up, got ready, smoked a cigarette, said goodbye and left. I know he's going through so much. He's made so many friends here lately that I know he'll miss. I know he misses those back in MT too.
Then I was reminded of a conversation we had earlier in the week. I was talking to Joe about love, and I said, "Love is scary because it's such a helpless feeling." And thats how I feel- helpless.