(no subject)
the following two paragraphs are from an old post that i was just reading through, it's amazing how cyclical emotions and situations are. this is still so true and totally how i feel. take it or leave it i really don't care.
this post goes out to all of you who tell me who to be, that's right, just because we both go to bethel doesn't mean i have to accept what you tell me and how you tell me to dress and live, how to act and what to say. i've suppresed to others for long enough. who the shit are you to tell me anything to change who i am. i love jesus, i have comassion for sinners, and contempt for my own sin, so how does that make you any fucking better than me. yeah so what i cussed, if you are that concerned with my language why aren't you concerned that people are starving, dying without knowing the love of jesus across the ocean and you sit here and tell me that you don't like me becasue i wear girl pants?!?!? is that logical?
i feel like i just want someone to beat me to a pulp, and i'll just lay there and take it. take out your judgemental thought, your assumptions and your bigotry out on my body. you don't know me, but you don't like me. you think i'm supposed to fit in a box and i don't. let me watch you stab me, throw punches, beat me sensless, and wake up in a dried pool of my own blood, not knowing where i am. then it can happen again and it will fell like the first time and it will have that sweet virgin sting to it, although it has already happened before. keep your eyes closed and keep ignoring yourslef and keep shooting me in the heart and head for having my eyes open.
this post goes out to all of you who tell me who to be, that's right, just because we both go to bethel doesn't mean i have to accept what you tell me and how you tell me to dress and live, how to act and what to say. i've suppresed to others for long enough. who the shit are you to tell me anything to change who i am. i love jesus, i have comassion for sinners, and contempt for my own sin, so how does that make you any fucking better than me. yeah so what i cussed, if you are that concerned with my language why aren't you concerned that people are starving, dying without knowing the love of jesus across the ocean and you sit here and tell me that you don't like me becasue i wear girl pants?!?!? is that logical?
i feel like i just want someone to beat me to a pulp, and i'll just lay there and take it. take out your judgemental thought, your assumptions and your bigotry out on my body. you don't know me, but you don't like me. you think i'm supposed to fit in a box and i don't. let me watch you stab me, throw punches, beat me sensless, and wake up in a dried pool of my own blood, not knowing where i am. then it can happen again and it will fell like the first time and it will have that sweet virgin sting to it, although it has already happened before. keep your eyes closed and keep ignoring yourslef and keep shooting me in the heart and head for having my eyes open.