(no subject)
yeah, so i have a fear of rejection..and a also a fear of asking for something i really need(surprise)..like a hug or whatever. i am just feeling really down and lonely. i needed a friend and he pushed me away. i know, on my part, it was a funny way for asking for affection. i didnt know why i acted like i did..but (actually, now i do..its because of the first two things i said)..i realized why i couldnt ask him for a simple hug and maybe a kiss(?). i was afraid to ask for what i REALLY needed. now my grandma is going day by day..it wont be long before its the end.. my prayers are with her.i love her like my own mother. he never even knew how bad she was..because i close my emotions off...until now. he would ask about it..and i never said anything... well now you know just how bad it is. it breaks my heart that i am losing all the people i find close to me. am i doing something to push them away? im sorry to him...i just miss YOU like you dont even know. i dont know if you are mad or anything, but i want to talk about stuff and i just really need someone...you here for me now... thanks