It's not fair

[emofraggle]

It's not fair
Written on a scrap of paper
folded, unneatly
and left on a grave

"They look like such big, strong hands,
I thought that's what they were.
But then the nothing came
and I could'nt save my friends."
Rockbiter

One night, nothing took her.
I thought i could fix it
I had to try
What if I made a difference?
She was not the average girl
There was nothing average about her
SHe was beautiful
She was smart
she was witty
ANd she had these eyes.
I had never noticed her eyes
So I held her
ANd spoke softly
"What's in your head?"
"Let it out"
"I'm not going anywere"
But it didn't come . . .
or at least she didn't show me

THen she whispered
"It's not fair.
WHen I saw you . . .
and then I saw the way Amy looked at you . . .
and now Rachel.
Why do I have to want something I can't have?"

I didn't understand for a minute and then when I did . . .
I couldn't speak.
But I held her tighter
and tighter
and she brought her face to mine and tried to kiss me.

It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss her
It was that I didn't want to add to her confusion.

SO I kissed her lightly and held her while she quietly cried.

I wonder, did I make things better, or worse?

I know I am not guilty.

But I also know that she is not either.

It's not fair.

KC
10.30.06
Dedicated to Trish