a short history of the latter part of this week
The night before Thanksgiving I thought alot as I lay in my room alone. I decided that God was speaking to me and I was now listening. I decided that I would start talking back. I wanted to give the blessing at Thanksgiving dinner, and I didn't care that it was in front of my father. I felt like I was finally heading in my own direction and I had found it for myself (or it finally found me).
I didn't get to give the blessing but I did get to say amen at the end, which felt strong to me. It was enough. That night I found out how people were treating Anna's mom and I knew that her late husband would never stand for it and I got tired of bowing out. I made up my mind I was going back to Orlando to do something about it. That night I prayed for the strength to do what I must do, the wisdom to figure out what it is I must do, and to help those that have lost sight of what's truly important regain that sight.
I didn't get to do much on friday but I did provide alot of support for Anna's mother. I was glad she felt that she wasn't alone anymore. We talked alot on how people are taking control of her life, being nasty and about the disdain they all share for me. It's really sad that the one person truly looking out for her best intrest, aside from those actually in charge of her welfare, is consitantly maligned by those who like to pretend they know what's right for her family. I have done nothing wrong. I give emotional support to a widowed mother and am practically an older brother to Anna's younger brothers. I love them all, and would die for them. Is that not worth something in today's society? The funny thing is all those nasty suburbanite housewives never really seem to say what they really have against me.
Talking to Anna's mother though, an interesting occurence arose in our conversation. Anna apparently had prayed on wednesday that I would find a christian man to talk to. I believe that when she made that prayer is when the sun finally came back out. She put a light in my world, and I thank her. This leads me to believe that she still has hope for me, and that knowing what I'm going through and knowing that her prayer was answered helps add to that hope.
I didn't get to give the blessing but I did get to say amen at the end, which felt strong to me. It was enough. That night I found out how people were treating Anna's mom and I knew that her late husband would never stand for it and I got tired of bowing out. I made up my mind I was going back to Orlando to do something about it. That night I prayed for the strength to do what I must do, the wisdom to figure out what it is I must do, and to help those that have lost sight of what's truly important regain that sight.
I didn't get to do much on friday but I did provide alot of support for Anna's mother. I was glad she felt that she wasn't alone anymore. We talked alot on how people are taking control of her life, being nasty and about the disdain they all share for me. It's really sad that the one person truly looking out for her best intrest, aside from those actually in charge of her welfare, is consitantly maligned by those who like to pretend they know what's right for her family. I have done nothing wrong. I give emotional support to a widowed mother and am practically an older brother to Anna's younger brothers. I love them all, and would die for them. Is that not worth something in today's society? The funny thing is all those nasty suburbanite housewives never really seem to say what they really have against me.
Talking to Anna's mother though, an interesting occurence arose in our conversation. Anna apparently had prayed on wednesday that I would find a christian man to talk to. I believe that when she made that prayer is when the sun finally came back out. She put a light in my world, and I thank her. This leads me to believe that she still has hope for me, and that knowing what I'm going through and knowing that her prayer was answered helps add to that hope.