The joke's on me
Have you ever felt like you were being talked to, but you just hadn't been listening?
While dating Anna I learned what love was, but to her love was stronger through God. I decided that after dealing with two influences who were definately polar opposites I started asking questions for myself. I started looking but still had a really hard time believing. I wanted to share her faith but I just couldn't bring myself to believe. I always said, though, that if she and I ever ceased to be I would be certain there was no god.
I knew Thanksgiving was going to be really hard because I had lost what I felt was a family to me, and I didn't enjoy being around my family much. I stayed around school as long as possible just to avoid and it just got lonelier and lonlier. I went surfing the day before Thanksgiving and just did alot of thinking. It seemed to always get colder when I thought of Anna though. The past three days had totally overcast and dismal, possibly coinciding with the darkness of my life and mood. But a funny thing happened as I began to come to clearer realizations, the sun tried its hardest to come out, and the visual was just amazing.
As the sun set I finished my session and got out of the water. I held myself over till i could get to school with 2.50 worth of McDonalds, and finnally got into my dorm for a hot shower. As I was walking down to the cafe I noticed how deserted this place was and felt utterly alone. Passing by the hall I saw that in the atrium there was a buffet set-up and a cute girl. I was almost broke and I was hoping the food was free. So i peaked in the door since I didn't have a key to get in, since I don't live in the hall, and she let me in. There was a full thanksgiving dinner and of course it was free.
I sat to myself being completely miserable and all, yet was getting approached by a few people and found that it was being put on by a campus youth ministry. I eventually ended up talking to this guy called D.A who I later found out was in seminary. As I gave him a short read out of my current theories on god and religion he had some things to say that were complimentary to my current views, alot of them by C.S Lewis (a favorite of Anna and her mother). As we spoke on I began to answer a good amount of my own questions and was thinking even harder. Then he tells me that he and his wife actually had broken up for a while before getting back together and getting married, which gave me hope. I am now reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis.
While dating Anna I learned what love was, but to her love was stronger through God. I decided that after dealing with two influences who were definately polar opposites I started asking questions for myself. I started looking but still had a really hard time believing. I wanted to share her faith but I just couldn't bring myself to believe. I always said, though, that if she and I ever ceased to be I would be certain there was no god.
I knew Thanksgiving was going to be really hard because I had lost what I felt was a family to me, and I didn't enjoy being around my family much. I stayed around school as long as possible just to avoid and it just got lonelier and lonlier. I went surfing the day before Thanksgiving and just did alot of thinking. It seemed to always get colder when I thought of Anna though. The past three days had totally overcast and dismal, possibly coinciding with the darkness of my life and mood. But a funny thing happened as I began to come to clearer realizations, the sun tried its hardest to come out, and the visual was just amazing.
As the sun set I finished my session and got out of the water. I held myself over till i could get to school with 2.50 worth of McDonalds, and finnally got into my dorm for a hot shower. As I was walking down to the cafe I noticed how deserted this place was and felt utterly alone. Passing by the hall I saw that in the atrium there was a buffet set-up and a cute girl. I was almost broke and I was hoping the food was free. So i peaked in the door since I didn't have a key to get in, since I don't live in the hall, and she let me in. There was a full thanksgiving dinner and of course it was free.
I sat to myself being completely miserable and all, yet was getting approached by a few people and found that it was being put on by a campus youth ministry. I eventually ended up talking to this guy called D.A who I later found out was in seminary. As I gave him a short read out of my current theories on god and religion he had some things to say that were complimentary to my current views, alot of them by C.S Lewis (a favorite of Anna and her mother). As we spoke on I began to answer a good amount of my own questions and was thinking even harder. Then he tells me that he and his wife actually had broken up for a while before getting back together and getting married, which gave me hope. I am now reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis.