"I gotta get away from here.."
I felt myself slipping, it could have been good. but it could have been very, very bad. In my experience 5 months from leaving, it would have been a repeat of my hearts destruction one year ago. I have one lost whirl wind summer romance, i dont need another. so ending it now was better than waiting for it to be crushing later. and im sure the feeling of longing will go away much sooner than it would have in 5 months. I saved my heart, i just dont know who im saving it for.
So that's that. and now my attentions turned to my best friends. I missed mikey and josh. im so glad i got to spend time with them again last night, like old times. Ive come to realize its not okay to try to save people. Helping is very okay, but its more important to be there for them while they save THEMSELVES. I just hope mike knows hes my hero and will never be anything less than my soul's counter part. and josh, being probably the sweetest guy i have known, deserves all of the happiness that always seems to be just a step out of his reach. That kid has been to hell and back and it kills me to see all the bullshit people put him through. I really hope we all get to spend some more time together, i miss all the good times, mostly from last summer.
Im so back and forth lately. I know im going to miss these kids. but i cannot wait to get the hell out of here. Im done. theres nothing left in maine for me. its time to move on. I want out.
I cannot wait another three weeks from now.
April Vacation, the world realigns.. just me, Tabby, the open road, and a cowboy hat. The only plans, Easter night in Virginia, Monday night in Orland with the possibility of some old friend Visitors <3. And South Carolina from there. Makin' some Southern boys jealous, singing loud Spice girls songs, Dancing like crazy, and gettin' effed up. We're causin' a scene.. in the Dirty South.
