we dont laugh like we used to
I am going to get my life back on track. it seems as though parts of my life started to decay as my expectations were not met by the begining of what should have been an amazing senior year. As friendships unraveled before my eyes, and teachers spoke to me like im not the brilliant get away with anything girl that i am, parts of me started to shut down. And so i have spent the last couple of weeks pretending the world around me does not exhist and i have nothing to worry about. This part of my exhistance is over. I am going to get caughtup and then ahead in my school work. I can do this in a matter of time, but it DOES mean that i have to stop living in this fantasy world with aaron. Relationships consist of make believe and reality, there has been too much make believe and now its time to see if we can handle the realities of my being stressed and figuring out what needs to happen in order to better myself in other aspects of my life. i need to work. and i need to continue to work until i am comfortable again with my grades, teachers, and over all academic life. As for the friendships and other uncontrolable parts of my life.. well i guess its time to just accept and move on. All good things come to end right? well i do have one more imature, livejournal, self loathing, thing to say to you alex..
i believe that u are going to miss out on alot of the experieces of senior year. I believe that u have degressed and want to be a little kid again with ur younger friends and i believe you dont wish to know or be seen with any of ur "old" friends because yes we are older and that makes you realize that yes, u are too. Senior prank was supposed to be all us, we were supposed to march together, senior year was supposed to be ours. but i refuse to become ur "second best" friend whom u only stay friends with to make that person feel better. I am not a pitty case, and so im making life better by keeping away from you and pretending we were never what we once were. it seems i am constantly wrong about males and this is no acception. i only see what i want to in the opposite sex and i dont see who they really are until its too late and i get hurt. you knew going into everything that i needed a friend, i guess i dont anymore.
this will probably erupt into sum huge livejournal cascade of danielle hating comments but quite frankly.. suck it. people let people down, thats all there is to it.
on a happier note.. the freyburg fair is this weekend and chels mentioned maybe a four some of us going together.. however i believe the weirdness still exhists and so im not sure :o/
im done here. -me
i believe that u are going to miss out on alot of the experieces of senior year. I believe that u have degressed and want to be a little kid again with ur younger friends and i believe you dont wish to know or be seen with any of ur "old" friends because yes we are older and that makes you realize that yes, u are too. Senior prank was supposed to be all us, we were supposed to march together, senior year was supposed to be ours. but i refuse to become ur "second best" friend whom u only stay friends with to make that person feel better. I am not a pitty case, and so im making life better by keeping away from you and pretending we were never what we once were. it seems i am constantly wrong about males and this is no acception. i only see what i want to in the opposite sex and i dont see who they really are until its too late and i get hurt. you knew going into everything that i needed a friend, i guess i dont anymore.
this will probably erupt into sum huge livejournal cascade of danielle hating comments but quite frankly.. suck it. people let people down, thats all there is to it.
on a happier note.. the freyburg fair is this weekend and chels mentioned maybe a four some of us going together.. however i believe the weirdness still exhists and so im not sure :o/
im done here. -me