here we go.
here we go, leaving the apt for good. no longer our apt. getting a new place is gonna be a bitch, one lined up on central, that if i come back here.
sigh.
off to the airport at 5
KOAK to SAN
Southwest Flight 197
be in at 10:10, gonna have to wait for pat to fly in tho, hes working.
im trying to keep a chin up and think positive, but i did just lose a soulmate and my best friend. i have to get a hold on my anger, and feelings of hurt and betrayal. i want to be the asshole. everyone thinks i am anyway. what do i owe anyone? why should i have to leave? why must everything be absoult and final; hurried along. i barely have time to think. its hard. i dont think anyone truly understands how hard this is. im having seconds thoughts about leaving, and complying for the sake of everyone but me.
im doing this for her. leaving her alone. that is what she wants, and shes trying hard to make herself happy. somehow me being 500 miles away is what needs to happen. i care, so i do. but there is no sence in it. no logic. im getting nothing, in fact im getting treated worse than i have before. grrr, whyyyyyyy?
sigh.
off to the airport at 5
KOAK to SAN
Southwest Flight 197
be in at 10:10, gonna have to wait for pat to fly in tho, hes working.
im trying to keep a chin up and think positive, but i did just lose a soulmate and my best friend. i have to get a hold on my anger, and feelings of hurt and betrayal. i want to be the asshole. everyone thinks i am anyway. what do i owe anyone? why should i have to leave? why must everything be absoult and final; hurried along. i barely have time to think. its hard. i dont think anyone truly understands how hard this is. im having seconds thoughts about leaving, and complying for the sake of everyone but me.
im doing this for her. leaving her alone. that is what she wants, and shes trying hard to make herself happy. somehow me being 500 miles away is what needs to happen. i care, so i do. but there is no sence in it. no logic. im getting nothing, in fact im getting treated worse than i have before. grrr, whyyyyyyy?