(no subject)
for the past 3 months ive been a mess. a wreck of mixed up emotions and false ideas. drowning all of my problems with alcohol and lies. in response to the way i saw my life i turned into a lazy vacant spot where a real human once was. i was a shell filled with masses of confusion. i gave up. i gave up on me and everyone else. i tried to take the easy way out and throw away the first thing i saw, the first thing i could blame. i should have been blaming myself. i threw away the most important thing i had, and it absolutely killed me inside.
i want to redeem myself.
i feel like ive taken off a five hundred pound jet black jacket. it was hot and heavy and sad. i feel light and beautiful. i feel like i can begin to put all the pieces back together. that person, that thing that i was, it wasnt me. i dont want to be her again. she was mean, and spiteful, and materialistic. she didn't try. she gave up, and let all of the pieces fall all around her. i've started picking them up. i still have alot to go. i want to be better. im so glad that someone has faith in me.
i want to thank him for taking me back.
its scary to think of what i would have done if hadnt.
that sounds really suicidal, and i didnt mean it like that at all.
i dont want to be that person again, thats all.
im working on putting the pieces together again.
i like this feeling. i like who i know i can be.
i want to redeem myself.
i feel like ive taken off a five hundred pound jet black jacket. it was hot and heavy and sad. i feel light and beautiful. i feel like i can begin to put all the pieces back together. that person, that thing that i was, it wasnt me. i dont want to be her again. she was mean, and spiteful, and materialistic. she didn't try. she gave up, and let all of the pieces fall all around her. i've started picking them up. i still have alot to go. i want to be better. im so glad that someone has faith in me.
i want to thank him for taking me back.
its scary to think of what i would have done if hadnt.
that sounds really suicidal, and i didnt mean it like that at all.
i dont want to be that person again, thats all.
im working on putting the pieces together again.
i like this feeling. i like who i know i can be.