Fic: Wrong Turn, Right Destination (15/15)
Title: Wrong Turn, Right Destination
Author: Emo_bangs
Rating: R for swearing, violence, adult themes, sexual situations (mostly in later chapters)
Pairing: Kendall Knight/James Diamond
Summary: Kendall Knight thought starting over would be easy but that was before he fell in love. AU
A/N: Holy crap. I can’t believe this. This is the end. It’s done. (except for the short epilogue that follows this). It has been incredible writing this. It has been my baby for the longest time and I can still remember the very first time I started writing it and where I was and what I was doing. Your guys’ support has been phenomenal and I can’t begin to thank you guys enough! It has been great writing this and sharing it with you guys. (and I will be in a sense of denial for the next week or two because I don’t want it to be over).
The song in this chapter is a mash-up of 6 songs that I couldn’t pick from because they were all so relevant in different ways. Points/props/hypothetical prizes to anyone who can name all 6 songs. Review and let me know what you think about the chapter or the story as a whole, feel free to share your favorite part in the whole story. I’m interested what you guys liked the most. :)
Kendall didn’t know if he was flying or falling. Being with James always seemed to have a certain effect on him, leaving him so content and happy that he can’t help his cheerful mood. But when he had to leave the other boy, his high was cut short and his mood immediately sank. Returning home that next morning after spending the night at James’ house was pure torture. He wanted to stay with James; he hadn’t had his fix of the cute brunette yet. He still wanted more. Kiss, touch, hold him. Everything.
He let out a loud groan as he flung the door shut. He plopped down on the couch beside his little sister, whose attention was focused purely on the TV.
“Do you mind?” she questioned irritatedly at his loud noise.
He turned to look at the younger girl, chest heaving loudly in a sigh. “Why do I always fuck everything up Katie?”
“Don’t ask me,” Katie shrugged.
“What should I do?” he asked quietly under his breath, mostly just thinking aloud.
“Do what you do best,” his sister said simply.
“Play hockey?” he questioned, clearly not getting the point of her suggestion. Before prison, hockey had been his life and he more than excelled at it. He was going to go professional before his life was involuntarily interrupted.
“No, idiot,” she mumbled, swatting his arm a little harder than a young girl should be able to. “Write him a song.”
Kendall’s face scrunched up as he exclaimed in mild outrage, “I’m a way better hockey player than a songwriter.”
Katie sighed, looking over at her brother with a hard, intimidating expression. “Do you want him back or not?”
The blonde’s expression instantly went somber, every trace of humor and surprise vanishing, being replaced with the utmost sincerity. “I do Katie,” he said quietly, longing and desperation evident in his voice. “So bad.”
Crumpled paper after paper made its way to the close vicinity of his trash bin (he didn’t have the best arm in the world). He had plenty of words floating around in his head and he had more than enough to say to James, he was just having trouble combining the two. He knew what he needed to say; he just didn’t know exactly how to say it.
So every failed attempt was thrown into or near his trash bin and he would start over again, both frustrated and relieved at the new, clean start. It had to be perfect. It had to be just perfect enough so that James would take him back. The pressure just made it even more difficult to write. But sometimes, just the right amount of pressure was all he needed to motivate him to creating the perfect lyrics.
He was in the middle of his, what seemed like, one hundredth attempt when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Baffled wouldn’t begin to cover it when he saw a text from Logan in his inbox. Preparing himself for something hateful and vicious, he opened it cautiously, fearing the worst. For a second, Kendall swore his heart stopped all together. Not because of something hateful Logan had written him but instead, because of five unexpected, terrifying words.
James is in the hospital.
His hands shook violently as he sent a text back, demanding to know which hospital he was at. While waiting for the informative text, he slipped his jacket and shoes on, running out to the living room, telling Katie that he was going out and he’d be back in a while. Just as he stepped out the door, he got the text of the hospital name. He immediately headed towards there, running as fast as his feet would allow. His chest heaved as he struggled to breathe at the exertion, but he honestly didn’t care. He was so scared that nothing else mattered.
Only one thing was on his mind. What happened? Why was James in the hospital? Was he going to be okay? He couldn’t stand the thought of losing James; that would completely kill him inside. He shoved these thoughts aside and just ran faster, ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks. The typically 30 minute walk was a mere 10 minute sprint at the pace Kendall was going at. He ran through the doors of the hospital, straight to the room Logan had told him.
He was panting dramatically as he approached the bed, worry fading only slightly at seeing James sitting up, seemingly okay. He immediately approached his bedside, violently trembling hands reaching up to caress James’ warm cheeks. He brushed his thumbs over the soft skin, relishing the soft warmth that told him James was still there, still alive. Leaning over the bed slightly, he pressed their foreheads together, rushed breaths mingling together.
“I was so scared James,” he whispered, voice shaky with fear and worry. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
James smiled softly, still slightly weak. “I’m not that easy to get rid of.”
Kendall chuckled, pulling away slightly to gaze into James’ soft brown eyes. He stroked his thumb across the brunette’s cheek, personally calmed by the feel of James’ skin under his touch. “Good,” he murmured quietly.
Carlos and Logan were obviously not over the whole murderer thing, seeing how tense they were the second he entered the room. Granted, Kendall was purely focused on James but he noticed after a few minutes in the room.
“We’ll be back James,” Carlos announced, voice obviously strained with control.
James nodded in understanding, his gaze fixing back to Kendall as his two friends left the room.
“I’m kinda surprised Logan texted me,” Kendall mused aloud, taking a seat in the bedside chair. He instantly reached his hand up to grab James’ hand, thumb rubbing across the back of his hand idly.
“I made him,” James told him quietly, with a sly smile on his face. “He flat out refused at first but I demanded it and he eventually gave in.”
“What happened James?” Kendall asked curiously, wondering what landed him in the hospital.
James sighed, hoping Kendall wouldn’t freak out. “I took a pretty rough hit at hockey practice and they just wanted to make sure I didn’t have a concussion or anything. They’re still running a few tests and I’m going for an MRI tomorrow to make sure I don’t have a concussion. If I don’t, I’m free to go after that.”
Hours had passed. James smiled fondly as he gently combed his fingers through the other’s soft, blond hair. Kendall had his head rested on the bed and he’d fallen asleep a few minutes ago. He pushed at the other boy’s shoulder, trying to wake him up.
“Kendall,” he called softly. “Kendall!”
“Wha-?” Kendall questioned, shooting up from his spot.
James bit his lip, unable to stifle the giggle at the sight of Kendall’s disheveled hair. He reached over and smoothed it back into place.
“Thanks,” he murmured in appreciation.
“Kendall, go home,” James demanded gingerly, not wanting Kendall to tire himself all day by sitting in his hospital room, especially when nothing was dangerously wrong. “Get some sleep. I’m fine here.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” Kendall muttered honestly, rubbing his hand up and down James’ forearm.
James smiled, “It’s fine Kendall. I swear. Come back tomorrow if you want.”
“I will,” Kendall promised, standing up and leaning over to kiss James’ forehead, before leaving the room and heading home, the perfect inspiration in his mind.
He returned the next day, just like he promised, but this time, he brought his guitar and a sheet of lyrics that was guaranteed to fix everything between them. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw James didn’t have any other visitors. He wanted to do this, as soon as possible. He wanted James back.
“Hey,” he called softly as he stepped into the room. His heart soared at the sweet smile that tweaked at James’ lips. He could sense James’ confusion towards the belongings he carried with him. “I wrote you a song,” he explained, sitting down in the chair beside James’ bedside. “Can I play it for you?”
Kendall’s heart skipped a beat at the soft pink hue hinting James’ cheeks as he nodded slowly, wordlessly. His smile widened even further as he settled his guitar in his lap, ecstatic that this was his opportunity to get James back. However, this fact made him extremely nervous, hands shaking as he gently strummed the strings.
“Sorry, it’s kind of long,” he mumbled, briefly glancing up at James with a hopefully unnoticably nervous smile. “I had a lot I needed you to hear.”
With that, he looked back down at the instrument in his lap, checking the position of his fingers one last time before starting to play.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
I made mistakes that, baby, I can never take away
But I continue learning
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
I want to tell you everything but I think we would change
Cos I did a lot of things and I just dont know what to say
With everything I keep from you, you might think I dont love you
But nothing could be further from the truth
Kendall cringed mentally, knowing his nerves were making his voice shake and his notes falter. But as long as the words meant something to James, that was enough. That was all that mattered.
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
Over the past few months of getting to know the blond, James learned quite a few interesting things about him. One thing in particular he noticed was his fear, no matter how well the blond thought it hid it. James always saw right there his brave facade. He always saw it in Kendall’s eyes whenever his past was brought up and the whole leaving after their incredible first time together was a testament alone to how scared Kendall really was. So James figured this had to be paralyzingly terrifying to apologize like this, completely bearing his soul. That alone, being absolutely willing be open and vulnerable, was enough to give him a second chance.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
We're on the phone and without a warning
I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard
I like the way you're everything I've ever wanted
Every time you smile, I smile
and every time you shine, I'll shine for you
You're my weakness but you give me
Strength
You’re my only reason
You’re my only truth
Kendall was dying to look up and gauge the other’s reaction but he knew that he would for sure lose his nerve completely. Though it took all the self control he possessed, he kept his head down as he continued singing.
I need you like water
Like breaths
I need you like mercy
From heaven’s gate
I need you like the blood in my veins
There’s a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you
James smiled softly as he listened intently to Kendall’s obviously heartfelt lyrics. It made his own heart race with excitement. All these words were acting as a confession, telling James exactly what he needed to hear from the get-go. He could easily translate those words, those particular lyrics into three simple words.
Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
I had time to think it oh-over and all I can say is come closer
Say that you wanna be with me too
Baby, I'm never gonna leave you again,
So don't be afraid
Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me
Kendall let the last notes fade to mere echoes as he finally glance up, heart pounding so violently he was sure James could hear it. His hands trembled in apprehension, setting his guitar down and waiting for James’ initial reaction. Kendall was just about to pass out from holding his breath when James finally spoke up, locking eyes with his nervous green ones.
“I love you too Kendall.”
Kendall released the breath with a happy laugh, ecstatic beyond any words to know that James still loved him and that he didn’t mess up everything in his life. He didn’t lose the single most important thing to him in the world. This building happiness left him momentarily speechless, supplying only a surprised, “Really?”
James chuckled, the perfect expression of fond joy written all over his face. “Yeah,” he said, nodding his head, biting his bottom lip shyly.
Without another word, Kendall stood from his bedside chair, hands flying up to cup James’ cheeks. There was nothing hesitant or yielding about their first kiss in weeks. Kendall held nothing back, his happiness to have James back, his guilt from messing everything up in the first place, and his promise that he would never do anything to hurt him ever again. And the way James was kissing back, answering his every insecurity, his hands shook for a completely different reason that had nothing to do with nerves.
He pulled away, slightly breathless, resting his forehead against James’. He brushed his thumb over the other’s soft cheek, relishing the feel of his flawlessly smooth skin and how incredibly right it felt to touch it again. Bringing a hand up, he brushed James’ soft hair back, repeating the action a few times, knowing the calming effect it had on both parties.
“I will never hurt you ever again,” he promised in a quiet, but firm voice that held the utmost sincerity.
“Good,” James replied simply, wrapping a hand around the back of Kendall’s neck and pulling him down for another passionate, loving kiss. Kendall smiled into their kiss, knowing that, from here on out, his life was looking up and it was all thanks to a certain, gorgeous brunette that, he now knew, he couldn’t live without.
“I still don’t think that was necessary,” James said as the two slowly made their way into James’ room, Kendall’s arm wrapped securely around the other’s waist, helping him along.
“Hey, you were the one who said no to carrying you, so this is what you get instead,” Kendall replied with a smug grin and if James wasn’t still so sore, he might’ve hit Kendall for that. It was the day following their reunion and James had just been released with the hospital without a concussion but on strict orders to get some rest. Kendall had taken it to heart to personally ensure this happened.
Without a license (there were still certain aspects of his bad boy persona that he held onto), he drove James’ car to pick up the brunette from the hospital, immediately following his text that he was being released that evening.
James had insisted that he didn’t need any help getting in and out of the car but Kendall had whole-heartedly ignored him, helping him anyways. He wasn’t sure if he was just scared of James falling and hurting himself or if he just wanted to be close to the other boy so he just settled for a combination of the two. Slipping his arm from James’ midsection, he let the slightly taller boy sink down on his bed with a content sigh. With a smile, he crouched beside James’ bed, reaching up to slide off his shoes, briefly tickling his feet just to hear the other boy giggle.
He let his hand run along James’ sweat pant clad leg, stopping just after he passed his knees, realizing that this might be moving too fast too soon for the other boy. He wanted to touch every inch of James’ skin, relearn each and every detail of his body but he wanted James to be comfortable with it. He didn’t want to do anything make James feel uncomfortable.
“Sorry,” he muttered, flashing a soft, apologetic smile. “We can go as slow as you want James.”
And Kendall would never forget looking up to see a deep red blush painted on James’ cheeks. Then, glancing back down to realize that taking things slow was definitely not on James’ mind.
“My heart really wants to take it slow but my body seems to think different,” James admitted, shyly tugging his bottom lip between his teeth.
Kendall looked back up at James once more, eyebrows arching slightly in question. He wanted to help James but more so, he wanted to make sure James was okay with what he had in mind.
James shivered at the inquiring look Kendall shot him. He would be lying to say he was a little hesitant, a little scared but he shoved all those feelings aside and nodded slightly, offering permission, offering himself to Kendall.
That look practically left the blond speechless. He wordlessly slid his hand up James’ leg, stopping every now and then to squeeze a particular muscle or to stroke his thumb over a certain spot. His hand followed the curve of his thigh, rubbing his thumb along the inside, briefly making contact with the bulge growing in James’ sweats. Kendall smiled softly at the short, barely audible gasp that left James’ lips.
He moved his caressing hand up, letting his thumb hooked in the waistband of James’ jeans and boxer-briefs, bringing his other hand up to help as he tugged them down gently, throwing them behind him carelessly. He let his eyes greedily roam over James’ flawless body, taking it every single detail. With an appreciative smile, he kissed his way up James’ long, lean leg, letting his kisses linger around his thigh. He felt his own body reacting as James’ legs fell open with a soft whimper as his kisses trailed over the curve of his smooth thigh. He pressed a single kiss to the inside of each of James’ thighs before shifting his attention elsewhere.
He dropped a hand from its grip on James’ hip to slowly curl his fingers around his erection, experimentally stroking it. The sound James made following this action went straight to Kendall’s groin. Hearing James moan at his hand was such a turn on for him. The fact that James trusted him enough to let him do this, let him see this side of him was even more of a turn on.
With that in mind, he leaned forward, a wide grin tugging at his lips as he brought them down to James’ impressive length, parting them to wrap them around the head. He spent a couple minutes gently sucking on the very tip, his tongue circling around it, lavishing the sensitive tip every now and then. He would repeat this action a certain number of times depending on how loud James moaned. He enjoyed responding to James’ every cue, listening to the sounds he made, paying attention to his body language.
So when James’ hips jutted up ever so slightly and the softest whimper left his lips, Kendall instantly gave into his desires, letting his lips trail down slowly over his length. He couldn’t help the moan that he emitted; the taste of James on his tongue, the thought of giving him such pleasure was beyond arousing to him.
He brought his lips back up to the head, swirling his tongue around it once more before pulling back to lick along the underside, enjoying the resulting shudder of the other’s body. He pumped his fist over the hard length a few times, letting his hand still at the base as his mouth took over, head bobbing slowly. Picking up a steady rhythm, he glanced over at James as he relaxed his jaw, taking James down as far as he could.
The sheer beauty before him threw his head back in pure bliss, letting his body succumb to all the pleasure assaulting it. James couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good. His shaky fingers curled into Kendall’s shaggy blond hair, gripping it tightly as his back arched off the bed slightly, hips canting up, desperate for more. He could feel all the sensations building up and he was just seconds away from what could possibly be the best orgasm ever. His chest was heaving with the difficult labor of dragging enough air into his lungs to breathe correctly as he practically panted, rapidly approaching his release.
His grip in the other’s hair tightened considerably as his lips parted to let out a soft, warning cry of Kendall’s name before he came just seconds later, Kendall’s name falling from his lips one more time, only this time, in a much higher volume.
Kendall gently stroked his thumb across James’ hip as he worked him through his orgasm, swallowing every last drop. He pulled away with the softest, most satisfied smile on his face, leaning down to chastely kiss each of his hip bones, then making his way up to James’ lips, kissing him ever so softly.
He climbed over James to fall down beside him, perfectly content to just lie with him, despite the persistent hard-on pressing against his jeans. He noticed James’ sly smile as he reached over, fingers dancing along his belt buckle.
“You don’t have to-”
The protest was cut off as James sealed his lips over Kendall’s as a sweet way of silencing him and ending all protests. He deftly unclasped the buckle, expertly maneuvering the button out and sliding the zipper down. With Kendall’s help, he slid all obstructing materials down the other’s leg, giggling softly as he watched Kendall flail as he kicked them off. James’ timing was seamless, capturing his lips in another kiss the second his head turned back towards him.
This was his favorite kind of kiss with James, the slow deep ones that could just go on for hours and hours and Kendall knew that these had been a persistent thought in his head but he didn’t care because he could truly spend eternity kissing James just like this. His heart raced in excitement as he felt James’ hand make its way down his chest, trailing over his thigh briefly before wrapping around his erection.
Knowing, feeling how turned on the blond was, James didn’t waste any time, building up a steady rhythm, working the whole length. Every few strokes he would let his thumb run over the head, enjoying the way Kendall would groan into their kiss and his hips would jut forward, thrusting into his warm hand. Every other stroke he would let his fingers tickle over the other’s balls, noticing the slight shake it caused in Kendall’s leg. James decided to test this, gently rubbing his fingers over Kendall’s balls once again, chuckling as his leg shook once more.
“James,” Kendall groaned in a desperate whine that came out more like begging. James soothed him with a kiss and continued pumping his fist over his length, tightening his grip and speeding up his pace just a little, knowing that Kendall was close. He took advantage of Kendall’s parted lips to slip his tongue between them, slowly massaging Kendall’s tongue with his own.
This deep kiss muffled the moan that still sounded vaguely of James’ name as the blond came hard, releasing himself all over James’ hand. Kendall watched, mouth dropping open in awed arousal as James brought his hand up to his lips, tongue darting out to shyly lick up the thick substance. The blush staining his cheeks was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen and he couldn’t help but thread his fingers through James’ soft hair, tugging his face forward and pressing their lips together in a heated, deep kiss.
The whole thing left him speechless. No words could describe the elation running through his system at the moment. Kendall knew it wasn’t just his recent release provoking this feeling. It was having James curl against his side with the sweetest smile, it was the quick, random kisses James placed along his neck and collarbone, it was having James in his life period and knowing that nothing could ever take that away from him again.
Kendall pulled the covers over through sated, spent bodies, relishing the warmth of James pressed against his side. He turned his head to the side, pressing a kiss to James’ temple as he worked his fingers through his hair in a lazy, relaxed manner. “I love you James,” he whispered against his hair, pressing another kiss to his head.
“I love you too Kendall.”
Those words. Kendall knew those words had the power to take away all the pain he’d ever endured, all the mistakes he’d ever made and supply him with a brand new start. A blank slate that he was intent to fill with happy memories of him and James. And as he fell asleep, arm curled protectively around the sleeping brunette, he couldn’t help but get a head start, a lifetime of future blissful memories erasing all the horrible ones of his past.
Author: Emo_bangs
Rating: R for swearing, violence, adult themes, sexual situations (mostly in later chapters)
Pairing: Kendall Knight/James Diamond
Summary: Kendall Knight thought starting over would be easy but that was before he fell in love. AU
A/N: Holy crap. I can’t believe this. This is the end. It’s done. (except for the short epilogue that follows this). It has been incredible writing this. It has been my baby for the longest time and I can still remember the very first time I started writing it and where I was and what I was doing. Your guys’ support has been phenomenal and I can’t begin to thank you guys enough! It has been great writing this and sharing it with you guys. (and I will be in a sense of denial for the next week or two because I don’t want it to be over).
The song in this chapter is a mash-up of 6 songs that I couldn’t pick from because they were all so relevant in different ways. Points/props/hypothetical prizes to anyone who can name all 6 songs. Review and let me know what you think about the chapter or the story as a whole, feel free to share your favorite part in the whole story. I’m interested what you guys liked the most. :)
Kendall didn’t know if he was flying or falling. Being with James always seemed to have a certain effect on him, leaving him so content and happy that he can’t help his cheerful mood. But when he had to leave the other boy, his high was cut short and his mood immediately sank. Returning home that next morning after spending the night at James’ house was pure torture. He wanted to stay with James; he hadn’t had his fix of the cute brunette yet. He still wanted more. Kiss, touch, hold him. Everything.
He let out a loud groan as he flung the door shut. He plopped down on the couch beside his little sister, whose attention was focused purely on the TV.
“Do you mind?” she questioned irritatedly at his loud noise.
He turned to look at the younger girl, chest heaving loudly in a sigh. “Why do I always fuck everything up Katie?”
“Don’t ask me,” Katie shrugged.
“What should I do?” he asked quietly under his breath, mostly just thinking aloud.
“Do what you do best,” his sister said simply.
“Play hockey?” he questioned, clearly not getting the point of her suggestion. Before prison, hockey had been his life and he more than excelled at it. He was going to go professional before his life was involuntarily interrupted.
“No, idiot,” she mumbled, swatting his arm a little harder than a young girl should be able to. “Write him a song.”
Kendall’s face scrunched up as he exclaimed in mild outrage, “I’m a way better hockey player than a songwriter.”
Katie sighed, looking over at her brother with a hard, intimidating expression. “Do you want him back or not?”
The blonde’s expression instantly went somber, every trace of humor and surprise vanishing, being replaced with the utmost sincerity. “I do Katie,” he said quietly, longing and desperation evident in his voice. “So bad.”
Crumpled paper after paper made its way to the close vicinity of his trash bin (he didn’t have the best arm in the world). He had plenty of words floating around in his head and he had more than enough to say to James, he was just having trouble combining the two. He knew what he needed to say; he just didn’t know exactly how to say it.
So every failed attempt was thrown into or near his trash bin and he would start over again, both frustrated and relieved at the new, clean start. It had to be perfect. It had to be just perfect enough so that James would take him back. The pressure just made it even more difficult to write. But sometimes, just the right amount of pressure was all he needed to motivate him to creating the perfect lyrics.
He was in the middle of his, what seemed like, one hundredth attempt when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Baffled wouldn’t begin to cover it when he saw a text from Logan in his inbox. Preparing himself for something hateful and vicious, he opened it cautiously, fearing the worst. For a second, Kendall swore his heart stopped all together. Not because of something hateful Logan had written him but instead, because of five unexpected, terrifying words.
James is in the hospital.
His hands shook violently as he sent a text back, demanding to know which hospital he was at. While waiting for the informative text, he slipped his jacket and shoes on, running out to the living room, telling Katie that he was going out and he’d be back in a while. Just as he stepped out the door, he got the text of the hospital name. He immediately headed towards there, running as fast as his feet would allow. His chest heaved as he struggled to breathe at the exertion, but he honestly didn’t care. He was so scared that nothing else mattered.
Only one thing was on his mind. What happened? Why was James in the hospital? Was he going to be okay? He couldn’t stand the thought of losing James; that would completely kill him inside. He shoved these thoughts aside and just ran faster, ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks. The typically 30 minute walk was a mere 10 minute sprint at the pace Kendall was going at. He ran through the doors of the hospital, straight to the room Logan had told him.
He was panting dramatically as he approached the bed, worry fading only slightly at seeing James sitting up, seemingly okay. He immediately approached his bedside, violently trembling hands reaching up to caress James’ warm cheeks. He brushed his thumbs over the soft skin, relishing the soft warmth that told him James was still there, still alive. Leaning over the bed slightly, he pressed their foreheads together, rushed breaths mingling together.
“I was so scared James,” he whispered, voice shaky with fear and worry. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
James smiled softly, still slightly weak. “I’m not that easy to get rid of.”
Kendall chuckled, pulling away slightly to gaze into James’ soft brown eyes. He stroked his thumb across the brunette’s cheek, personally calmed by the feel of James’ skin under his touch. “Good,” he murmured quietly.
Carlos and Logan were obviously not over the whole murderer thing, seeing how tense they were the second he entered the room. Granted, Kendall was purely focused on James but he noticed after a few minutes in the room.
“We’ll be back James,” Carlos announced, voice obviously strained with control.
James nodded in understanding, his gaze fixing back to Kendall as his two friends left the room.
“I’m kinda surprised Logan texted me,” Kendall mused aloud, taking a seat in the bedside chair. He instantly reached his hand up to grab James’ hand, thumb rubbing across the back of his hand idly.
“I made him,” James told him quietly, with a sly smile on his face. “He flat out refused at first but I demanded it and he eventually gave in.”
“What happened James?” Kendall asked curiously, wondering what landed him in the hospital.
James sighed, hoping Kendall wouldn’t freak out. “I took a pretty rough hit at hockey practice and they just wanted to make sure I didn’t have a concussion or anything. They’re still running a few tests and I’m going for an MRI tomorrow to make sure I don’t have a concussion. If I don’t, I’m free to go after that.”
Hours had passed. James smiled fondly as he gently combed his fingers through the other’s soft, blond hair. Kendall had his head rested on the bed and he’d fallen asleep a few minutes ago. He pushed at the other boy’s shoulder, trying to wake him up.
“Kendall,” he called softly. “Kendall!”
“Wha-?” Kendall questioned, shooting up from his spot.
James bit his lip, unable to stifle the giggle at the sight of Kendall’s disheveled hair. He reached over and smoothed it back into place.
“Thanks,” he murmured in appreciation.
“Kendall, go home,” James demanded gingerly, not wanting Kendall to tire himself all day by sitting in his hospital room, especially when nothing was dangerously wrong. “Get some sleep. I’m fine here.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” Kendall muttered honestly, rubbing his hand up and down James’ forearm.
James smiled, “It’s fine Kendall. I swear. Come back tomorrow if you want.”
“I will,” Kendall promised, standing up and leaning over to kiss James’ forehead, before leaving the room and heading home, the perfect inspiration in his mind.
He returned the next day, just like he promised, but this time, he brought his guitar and a sheet of lyrics that was guaranteed to fix everything between them. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw James didn’t have any other visitors. He wanted to do this, as soon as possible. He wanted James back.
“Hey,” he called softly as he stepped into the room. His heart soared at the sweet smile that tweaked at James’ lips. He could sense James’ confusion towards the belongings he carried with him. “I wrote you a song,” he explained, sitting down in the chair beside James’ bedside. “Can I play it for you?”
Kendall’s heart skipped a beat at the soft pink hue hinting James’ cheeks as he nodded slowly, wordlessly. His smile widened even further as he settled his guitar in his lap, ecstatic that this was his opportunity to get James back. However, this fact made him extremely nervous, hands shaking as he gently strummed the strings.
“Sorry, it’s kind of long,” he mumbled, briefly glancing up at James with a hopefully unnoticably nervous smile. “I had a lot I needed you to hear.”
With that, he looked back down at the instrument in his lap, checking the position of his fingers one last time before starting to play.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
I made mistakes that, baby, I can never take away
But I continue learning
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
I want to tell you everything but I think we would change
Cos I did a lot of things and I just dont know what to say
With everything I keep from you, you might think I dont love you
But nothing could be further from the truth
Kendall cringed mentally, knowing his nerves were making his voice shake and his notes falter. But as long as the words meant something to James, that was enough. That was all that mattered.
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
Over the past few months of getting to know the blond, James learned quite a few interesting things about him. One thing in particular he noticed was his fear, no matter how well the blond thought it hid it. James always saw right there his brave facade. He always saw it in Kendall’s eyes whenever his past was brought up and the whole leaving after their incredible first time together was a testament alone to how scared Kendall really was. So James figured this had to be paralyzingly terrifying to apologize like this, completely bearing his soul. That alone, being absolutely willing be open and vulnerable, was enough to give him a second chance.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
We're on the phone and without a warning
I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard
I like the way you're everything I've ever wanted
Every time you smile, I smile
and every time you shine, I'll shine for you
You're my weakness but you give me
Strength
You’re my only reason
You’re my only truth
Kendall was dying to look up and gauge the other’s reaction but he knew that he would for sure lose his nerve completely. Though it took all the self control he possessed, he kept his head down as he continued singing.
I need you like water
Like breaths
I need you like mercy
From heaven’s gate
I need you like the blood in my veins
There’s a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you
James smiled softly as he listened intently to Kendall’s obviously heartfelt lyrics. It made his own heart race with excitement. All these words were acting as a confession, telling James exactly what he needed to hear from the get-go. He could easily translate those words, those particular lyrics into three simple words.
Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
I had time to think it oh-over and all I can say is come closer
Say that you wanna be with me too
Baby, I'm never gonna leave you again,
So don't be afraid
Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me
Kendall let the last notes fade to mere echoes as he finally glance up, heart pounding so violently he was sure James could hear it. His hands trembled in apprehension, setting his guitar down and waiting for James’ initial reaction. Kendall was just about to pass out from holding his breath when James finally spoke up, locking eyes with his nervous green ones.
“I love you too Kendall.”
Kendall released the breath with a happy laugh, ecstatic beyond any words to know that James still loved him and that he didn’t mess up everything in his life. He didn’t lose the single most important thing to him in the world. This building happiness left him momentarily speechless, supplying only a surprised, “Really?”
James chuckled, the perfect expression of fond joy written all over his face. “Yeah,” he said, nodding his head, biting his bottom lip shyly.
Without another word, Kendall stood from his bedside chair, hands flying up to cup James’ cheeks. There was nothing hesitant or yielding about their first kiss in weeks. Kendall held nothing back, his happiness to have James back, his guilt from messing everything up in the first place, and his promise that he would never do anything to hurt him ever again. And the way James was kissing back, answering his every insecurity, his hands shook for a completely different reason that had nothing to do with nerves.
He pulled away, slightly breathless, resting his forehead against James’. He brushed his thumb over the other’s soft cheek, relishing the feel of his flawlessly smooth skin and how incredibly right it felt to touch it again. Bringing a hand up, he brushed James’ soft hair back, repeating the action a few times, knowing the calming effect it had on both parties.
“I will never hurt you ever again,” he promised in a quiet, but firm voice that held the utmost sincerity.
“Good,” James replied simply, wrapping a hand around the back of Kendall’s neck and pulling him down for another passionate, loving kiss. Kendall smiled into their kiss, knowing that, from here on out, his life was looking up and it was all thanks to a certain, gorgeous brunette that, he now knew, he couldn’t live without.
“I still don’t think that was necessary,” James said as the two slowly made their way into James’ room, Kendall’s arm wrapped securely around the other’s waist, helping him along.
“Hey, you were the one who said no to carrying you, so this is what you get instead,” Kendall replied with a smug grin and if James wasn’t still so sore, he might’ve hit Kendall for that. It was the day following their reunion and James had just been released with the hospital without a concussion but on strict orders to get some rest. Kendall had taken it to heart to personally ensure this happened.
Without a license (there were still certain aspects of his bad boy persona that he held onto), he drove James’ car to pick up the brunette from the hospital, immediately following his text that he was being released that evening.
James had insisted that he didn’t need any help getting in and out of the car but Kendall had whole-heartedly ignored him, helping him anyways. He wasn’t sure if he was just scared of James falling and hurting himself or if he just wanted to be close to the other boy so he just settled for a combination of the two. Slipping his arm from James’ midsection, he let the slightly taller boy sink down on his bed with a content sigh. With a smile, he crouched beside James’ bed, reaching up to slide off his shoes, briefly tickling his feet just to hear the other boy giggle.
He let his hand run along James’ sweat pant clad leg, stopping just after he passed his knees, realizing that this might be moving too fast too soon for the other boy. He wanted to touch every inch of James’ skin, relearn each and every detail of his body but he wanted James to be comfortable with it. He didn’t want to do anything make James feel uncomfortable.
“Sorry,” he muttered, flashing a soft, apologetic smile. “We can go as slow as you want James.”
And Kendall would never forget looking up to see a deep red blush painted on James’ cheeks. Then, glancing back down to realize that taking things slow was definitely not on James’ mind.
“My heart really wants to take it slow but my body seems to think different,” James admitted, shyly tugging his bottom lip between his teeth.
Kendall looked back up at James once more, eyebrows arching slightly in question. He wanted to help James but more so, he wanted to make sure James was okay with what he had in mind.
James shivered at the inquiring look Kendall shot him. He would be lying to say he was a little hesitant, a little scared but he shoved all those feelings aside and nodded slightly, offering permission, offering himself to Kendall.
That look practically left the blond speechless. He wordlessly slid his hand up James’ leg, stopping every now and then to squeeze a particular muscle or to stroke his thumb over a certain spot. His hand followed the curve of his thigh, rubbing his thumb along the inside, briefly making contact with the bulge growing in James’ sweats. Kendall smiled softly at the short, barely audible gasp that left James’ lips.
He moved his caressing hand up, letting his thumb hooked in the waistband of James’ jeans and boxer-briefs, bringing his other hand up to help as he tugged them down gently, throwing them behind him carelessly. He let his eyes greedily roam over James’ flawless body, taking it every single detail. With an appreciative smile, he kissed his way up James’ long, lean leg, letting his kisses linger around his thigh. He felt his own body reacting as James’ legs fell open with a soft whimper as his kisses trailed over the curve of his smooth thigh. He pressed a single kiss to the inside of each of James’ thighs before shifting his attention elsewhere.
He dropped a hand from its grip on James’ hip to slowly curl his fingers around his erection, experimentally stroking it. The sound James made following this action went straight to Kendall’s groin. Hearing James moan at his hand was such a turn on for him. The fact that James trusted him enough to let him do this, let him see this side of him was even more of a turn on.
With that in mind, he leaned forward, a wide grin tugging at his lips as he brought them down to James’ impressive length, parting them to wrap them around the head. He spent a couple minutes gently sucking on the very tip, his tongue circling around it, lavishing the sensitive tip every now and then. He would repeat this action a certain number of times depending on how loud James moaned. He enjoyed responding to James’ every cue, listening to the sounds he made, paying attention to his body language.
So when James’ hips jutted up ever so slightly and the softest whimper left his lips, Kendall instantly gave into his desires, letting his lips trail down slowly over his length. He couldn’t help the moan that he emitted; the taste of James on his tongue, the thought of giving him such pleasure was beyond arousing to him.
He brought his lips back up to the head, swirling his tongue around it once more before pulling back to lick along the underside, enjoying the resulting shudder of the other’s body. He pumped his fist over the hard length a few times, letting his hand still at the base as his mouth took over, head bobbing slowly. Picking up a steady rhythm, he glanced over at James as he relaxed his jaw, taking James down as far as he could.
The sheer beauty before him threw his head back in pure bliss, letting his body succumb to all the pleasure assaulting it. James couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good. His shaky fingers curled into Kendall’s shaggy blond hair, gripping it tightly as his back arched off the bed slightly, hips canting up, desperate for more. He could feel all the sensations building up and he was just seconds away from what could possibly be the best orgasm ever. His chest was heaving with the difficult labor of dragging enough air into his lungs to breathe correctly as he practically panted, rapidly approaching his release.
His grip in the other’s hair tightened considerably as his lips parted to let out a soft, warning cry of Kendall’s name before he came just seconds later, Kendall’s name falling from his lips one more time, only this time, in a much higher volume.
Kendall gently stroked his thumb across James’ hip as he worked him through his orgasm, swallowing every last drop. He pulled away with the softest, most satisfied smile on his face, leaning down to chastely kiss each of his hip bones, then making his way up to James’ lips, kissing him ever so softly.
He climbed over James to fall down beside him, perfectly content to just lie with him, despite the persistent hard-on pressing against his jeans. He noticed James’ sly smile as he reached over, fingers dancing along his belt buckle.
“You don’t have to-”
The protest was cut off as James sealed his lips over Kendall’s as a sweet way of silencing him and ending all protests. He deftly unclasped the buckle, expertly maneuvering the button out and sliding the zipper down. With Kendall’s help, he slid all obstructing materials down the other’s leg, giggling softly as he watched Kendall flail as he kicked them off. James’ timing was seamless, capturing his lips in another kiss the second his head turned back towards him.
This was his favorite kind of kiss with James, the slow deep ones that could just go on for hours and hours and Kendall knew that these had been a persistent thought in his head but he didn’t care because he could truly spend eternity kissing James just like this. His heart raced in excitement as he felt James’ hand make its way down his chest, trailing over his thigh briefly before wrapping around his erection.
Knowing, feeling how turned on the blond was, James didn’t waste any time, building up a steady rhythm, working the whole length. Every few strokes he would let his thumb run over the head, enjoying the way Kendall would groan into their kiss and his hips would jut forward, thrusting into his warm hand. Every other stroke he would let his fingers tickle over the other’s balls, noticing the slight shake it caused in Kendall’s leg. James decided to test this, gently rubbing his fingers over Kendall’s balls once again, chuckling as his leg shook once more.
“James,” Kendall groaned in a desperate whine that came out more like begging. James soothed him with a kiss and continued pumping his fist over his length, tightening his grip and speeding up his pace just a little, knowing that Kendall was close. He took advantage of Kendall’s parted lips to slip his tongue between them, slowly massaging Kendall’s tongue with his own.
This deep kiss muffled the moan that still sounded vaguely of James’ name as the blond came hard, releasing himself all over James’ hand. Kendall watched, mouth dropping open in awed arousal as James brought his hand up to his lips, tongue darting out to shyly lick up the thick substance. The blush staining his cheeks was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen and he couldn’t help but thread his fingers through James’ soft hair, tugging his face forward and pressing their lips together in a heated, deep kiss.
The whole thing left him speechless. No words could describe the elation running through his system at the moment. Kendall knew it wasn’t just his recent release provoking this feeling. It was having James curl against his side with the sweetest smile, it was the quick, random kisses James placed along his neck and collarbone, it was having James in his life period and knowing that nothing could ever take that away from him again.
Kendall pulled the covers over through sated, spent bodies, relishing the warmth of James pressed against his side. He turned his head to the side, pressing a kiss to James’ temple as he worked his fingers through his hair in a lazy, relaxed manner. “I love you James,” he whispered against his hair, pressing another kiss to his head.
“I love you too Kendall.”
Those words. Kendall knew those words had the power to take away all the pain he’d ever endured, all the mistakes he’d ever made and supply him with a brand new start. A blank slate that he was intent to fill with happy memories of him and James. And as he fell asleep, arm curled protectively around the sleeping brunette, he couldn’t help but get a head start, a lifetime of future blissful memories erasing all the horrible ones of his past.