Fic: Wrong Turn, Right Destination (14/15)
Title: Wrong Turn, Right Destination
Author: Emo_bangs
Rating: R for swearing, violence, adult themes, sexual situations (mostly in later chapters)
Pairing: Kendall Knight/James Diamond
Summary: Kendall Knight thought starting over would be easy but that was before he fell in love. AU
A/N: There isn’t too much to say about this chapter. Unexpectedly finished it as usual. I really enjoy this chapter. I’ve had a lot of stuff in here planned since the very beginning and they turned out even better than I imagined. Kendall with a baby is just too precious to pass up. I can’t believe the next chapter is the last one (then of course a short epilogue type chapter after that). Let me know what you guys think of the chapter :)
Kendall wasn’t sure exactly what led him there, watching intently as the needle repeatedly broken skin, placing a thin layer of ink under his skin. That was a lie actually. He knew, could name, every single step he took to get to this moment. The majority of these steps though, he wished desperately to forget. Which is why he was commemorating these defining moments in a way that would symbolize everything positive (however small) that came out of it.
Freedom.
That’s what it was. He was free from all the pain and suffering his dad had inflicted on him and his family. Wanting to focus on that feeling, Friday afternoon found him at the small town’s only tattoo place, intent on getting a tattoo to symbolize everything he’d been through in the past few years. He had the perfect idea in mind.
James was starting to think that he did all too much thinking lately. He found himself spending hours on end just thinking, completely lost in thought. To say it was aimless or too scattered would be a total lie; it was focused solely on one thing and one thing only: Kendall. Now more than ever, he wanted the other boy, missed his strong arms around him, the way an instant rush of security washed over him whenever the blond was near. He longed for the erratic, excited race of his heartbeat when he felt Kendall’s lips against his. He wanted all that again.
It was an early Saturday morning, way too early for James’ liking. But unfortunately, it was something couldn’t be helped. All night his psyche was plagued with horrendously reminiscent (and realistic) moments from his past. They were relatively happy memories but the fact that they were no more was what made them morbidly upsetting.
He knew only the security of Kendall’s arms around him could calm his sadness but he was too stubborn, too scared to call the other boy. However, he was just a memory or two away from risking it all and crawling back to the blond. His mind obviously wanted him to call Kendall because the second he fell asleep, yet another nightmare crept into his mind.
The words echoed in his head as he shot up in bed, a thin layer of sweat coating his body. He would always remember these words, having followed the moment he came out to his mom. She’d been very accepting of it and had told him that once he found someone he loved who made him happy then he should hold onto that; not their mistakes or people’s judgement. She told him that once he found someone who he was happy with, who treated him right then she’d be happy, whoever they were.
This alone almost made him take Kendall back; after all he was happiest when the blond boy was around and excluding the one major lie, Kendall definitely treated him right. He loved Kendall too so what was stopping him from being with him? He didn’t even bother trying to fall back asleep, shakily reaching for his phone instead.
7am was not his favorite time in the morning to be woken up and he was admittedly a tad irritated but only until he saw who the wake up text was from. James. A shot of excitement surged through him; why was James texting him, especially so early on a Saturday. Curiosity fading to worry as he sensed the desperation James was harboring. He knew, without a doubt, he had to be there for James no matter what.
He knocked on the front door three times, wishing he didn’t have to go through the main house to get to James’ place. He shifted uncomfortably as a young woman answered the door, looking less than thrilled at his presence. She was beautiful with long brown hair and soft brown eyes to match. This must be James’ older sister.
“Is James here?”
She stepped aside, silently reluctant as she let him in, directing him down the foyer and to his right, to the living room. His heart constricted painfully at the forlorn expression on James’ face. It was momentarily replaced with a shining joy when he saw Kendall standing there. He launched himself off the couch and into Kendall’s arms in an instant, arms curled tightly around his neck, body flush against his.
Kendall wrapped his arms around James’ waist, holding him securely. He rubbed a soothing hand down his back as he felt the pretty boy’s body shake in his arms. James buried his face in the crook of Kendall’s neck, willing the tears to stop. He pulled away slightly, a small smile tweaking at his lips as Kendall gently thumbed away his tears. He already felt better just having Kendall by his side.
“I just didn’t want to be able today,” James confessed in a soft, barely audible whisper. “I have to spend all day with my family without my mom and no one will care that she’s not there and I can’t deal with that alone.”
“And you don’t have to,” Kendall assured him, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. And James was more than appreciative of this.
The two boys sat on the couch, sitting close enough to where their legs were touching. James was picking at a loose thread on his jeans while his family chatted casually. Kendall tried his hardest to ignore the judging stares from all of James’ family. He just focused on James and how upset he looked. He tickled James’ fingers with his own, exchanging a sweet smile with him as he glanced up. Luckily by now, the rest of the family was too busy gushing over James’ niece to notice their subtle affection. James’ attention was drawn to the new ink circling Kendall’s arm. His fingers lightly traced over the inked chain, stilling as the chain’s links broke off.
“It symbolizes freedom,” Kendall leaned over to mumble in explanation. James nodded in understanding and spent the next while tracing and retracing the broken chain, finding an odd comfort in it.
Initially Kendall thought it was just because James was ashamed of him. Then he thought that maybe James just wanted some alone time with him and that in turn made him even more nervous than before. James’ family had suggested they all go out to dinner; they’d even invited him, granted it was probably out of reluctant politeness. It didn’t matter either way because James immediately declined on their part.
Everyone else had gone, leaving just him and James, as well as James’ three month old niece. Though he’d never really admit it aloud, he’d always had a soft spot for little baby girls. Ever since his sister was born, he found himself powerless against their sweet innocence or the fact that they needed to be protected. And it surely didn’t help that this little girl had large brown eyes just like James’.
He was absolutely defenseless against James’ soft brown eyes. He watched with a fond smile as James leaned down to pick up his crying niece, cradling the little girl in his arms. He could see the panic setting in on James’ face when he couldn’t get her to stop crying. It’d be a lie if he said James didn’t look adorable, all helpless and panicky.
With a soft chuckle, he extended his arms towards James, knowing just how to quiet the baby down. James handed the little girl over, watching as Kendall instantly cradled the baby, gently rocking her. The sight was precious, to say the least. Kendall Knight, convict, holding something so innocent. It made James think for a second, solidifying what he knew deep down. Kendall was still the same boy he met and fell in love with. He hadn’t changed at all. But it wasn’t that that made him weary to return to the other boy. He was scared but he just had to learn to trust Kendall again.
James gasped in awe as his niece stopped crying and began to giggle as Kendall tickled her cheek. That wasn’t the only thing putting a smile on his face. It was Kendall’s tough inked skin contrasting to the baby’s soft, pure skin and the way Kendall’s embrace was the safest place in the world and he would never do anything to hurt this innocent little girl. He would never do anything to hurt him. Now he just had to trust himself enough to let Kendall in again and trust that he wouldn’t get hurt.
A few hours had passed and Kendall had successfully lulled his niece to sleep. He carefully placed her back in her rocker, relieved that the movement didn’t wake the baby. Kendall promptly excused himself to the bathroom, expressing a two hour need to piss. He smiled softly at the cute giggle James emitted as he left the room. After doing his business, he returned to the living room, stopping in the doorway upon seeing James talking to his sister. He felt mildly guilty but found himself listening anyways.
“Mom would’ve hated him,” he heard James’ sister say. “You can do so much better James.”
After James just rolled his eyes and shook his head, his sister left and Kendall walked in casually, as if he hadn’t just heard that. He did his best not to let his irritation show and approached the other boy, hands burning, yearning to reach out and touch the other boy. Unable to fully resist, he reached up and caressed his soft cheek, pulling away shortly after, not wanting to push any boundaries that may have been set.
He missed the days where he could just touch the other boy anytime he wanted, any way he wanted. He wanted to run his fingers through his soft hair, grip his slim hips as he kissed him passionately. Kendall shook these thoughts away, knowing they were only taunting him since he wasn’t allowed to do any of that.
“I guess I better go,” Kendall sighed because he didn’t really want to go. Just being with James was enough of a natural high for him.
What happened next surprised him to stay the least. James’ bottom lip was tugged between his teeth nervously as he reached out with shaking hands and laced their fingers together. “Can you stay with me tonight Kendall?”
“Of course,” Kendall answered, a little breathless at how close James was and at the vulnerability shining in James’ brown eyes. It was pure instinct when he leaned forward and pressed his lips to James’ forehead, a pure instinct to comfort the other boy.
Kendall couldn’t decide if it was heaven or hell that he was currently enduring. He was lying in James’ bed, stripped down his t-shirt and boxers. The covers were pulled up over them as James’ cuddled against his side. Kendall had his arm wrapped around James’ shoulder, running his fingertips up and down the other’s arm. This seemed to have a soothing effect on the brunette because his eyes were slipping shut and his breathing evened out. He was asleep less than a minute later. And this time, Kendall didn’t ruin it. This time, he stayed and this time, he fell asleep with the most amazing boy in the world asleep in his arms.
Kendall woke hours later, chest heaving drastically as he came back to reality, shaking the dream’s effects off. He’d been dreaming that James left him because he finally realized what a horrible person he was.
Typically Kendall was not one to be easily influenced by other people nor did he take their judgement to heart. But with James, it was different. It was always different when it came to the cute brunette. All his rules were broken concerning the other boy. He, for once in his life, found himself worried with his broadcasted perception. It wasn’t so much of how everyone perceived him but rather how these perceptions came back to James and influenced his perception. James’ view of him was all he cared about and he was left wondering how James could perceive him to be anything short of a terrible person with the way all his friends and family seemed to insist it was true. He was so sick of everyone’s judgment and they were finally starting to catch up with him.
Carefully, as to not wake the stunning beauty sleeping beside him, he slipped out of bed, crouching down to brush the hair out of James’ face, earning a sleepy smile from the other boy. He pulled the covers up over James’, making sure he was warm enough before leaving the room, shutting the door quietly after him.
James woke slowly, rubbing his tired eyes and noting the time on his alarm clock on his beside table. 3:17. A deep pang assaulted his heart when he saw that Kendall wasn’t lying beside him. It faded slightly when he saw the blonde’s shoes and pants still lying on his floor. He noticed the bathroom light wasn’t on but the porch light was. Snatching the blanket off the bed, he shuffled outside in his PJ pants and wife-beater. He draped the warm blanket over Kendall’s shoulder and sat down next to him. Without a word, he rested his head on Kendall’s shoulder, wrapping an arm around Kendall’s, keeping the other hand resting on his bicep.
“Please don’t leave again. Just stay,” James whispered, devastatingly desperate, like it wasn’t a request, it was more of a plea.
“I’m a monster James,” was Kendall’s only reply. He kept his head bowed as he continued. “When I think about how I killed my dad, I don’t feel regret or remorse. I don’t feel anything.”
“That doesn’t matter you a monster,” the brunette murmured softly, stroking his thumb across Kendall’s smooth skin.
“Then why does everyone hate me?” Kendall asked, looking up at James with a teary gaze.
“No one hates you Kendall,” James said softly, brushing Kendall’s hair out of his eyes.
“Logan, Carlos, your whole fucking family,” he muttered, averting his gaze from James’ once more. His next words came out as an ashamed whisper. “You.”
James titled Kendall’s gaze up to look him directly in the eyes. “I don’t hate you,” he stated with the utmost sincerity.
“Then why won’t you just be with me?”
Realization set into James’ expression. “I’m just scared,” he confessed softly, “I don’t want to get hurt again. And I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“What can I do James?” Kendall asked desperately, cupping James’ cheeks and leaning forward to press their foreheads together. His eyes fluttered shut briefly, a few tears slipping down his cheeks. “Please just tell me. I’ll do anything to have you in my arms again.”
James swallowed hard, tears shining in his own eyes at the sight of tears streaming down Kendall’s face. He reached up, gently thumbing them away. “Just give me a little time.”
Because after all, only time would tell.
Author: Emo_bangs
Rating: R for swearing, violence, adult themes, sexual situations (mostly in later chapters)
Pairing: Kendall Knight/James Diamond
Summary: Kendall Knight thought starting over would be easy but that was before he fell in love. AU
A/N: There isn’t too much to say about this chapter. Unexpectedly finished it as usual. I really enjoy this chapter. I’ve had a lot of stuff in here planned since the very beginning and they turned out even better than I imagined. Kendall with a baby is just too precious to pass up. I can’t believe the next chapter is the last one (then of course a short epilogue type chapter after that). Let me know what you guys think of the chapter :)
Kendall wasn’t sure exactly what led him there, watching intently as the needle repeatedly broken skin, placing a thin layer of ink under his skin. That was a lie actually. He knew, could name, every single step he took to get to this moment. The majority of these steps though, he wished desperately to forget. Which is why he was commemorating these defining moments in a way that would symbolize everything positive (however small) that came out of it.
Freedom.
That’s what it was. He was free from all the pain and suffering his dad had inflicted on him and his family. Wanting to focus on that feeling, Friday afternoon found him at the small town’s only tattoo place, intent on getting a tattoo to symbolize everything he’d been through in the past few years. He had the perfect idea in mind.
James was starting to think that he did all too much thinking lately. He found himself spending hours on end just thinking, completely lost in thought. To say it was aimless or too scattered would be a total lie; it was focused solely on one thing and one thing only: Kendall. Now more than ever, he wanted the other boy, missed his strong arms around him, the way an instant rush of security washed over him whenever the blond was near. He longed for the erratic, excited race of his heartbeat when he felt Kendall’s lips against his. He wanted all that again.
It was an early Saturday morning, way too early for James’ liking. But unfortunately, it was something couldn’t be helped. All night his psyche was plagued with horrendously reminiscent (and realistic) moments from his past. They were relatively happy memories but the fact that they were no more was what made them morbidly upsetting.
He knew only the security of Kendall’s arms around him could calm his sadness but he was too stubborn, too scared to call the other boy. However, he was just a memory or two away from risking it all and crawling back to the blond. His mind obviously wanted him to call Kendall because the second he fell asleep, yet another nightmare crept into his mind.
The words echoed in his head as he shot up in bed, a thin layer of sweat coating his body. He would always remember these words, having followed the moment he came out to his mom. She’d been very accepting of it and had told him that once he found someone he loved who made him happy then he should hold onto that; not their mistakes or people’s judgement. She told him that once he found someone who he was happy with, who treated him right then she’d be happy, whoever they were.
This alone almost made him take Kendall back; after all he was happiest when the blond boy was around and excluding the one major lie, Kendall definitely treated him right. He loved Kendall too so what was stopping him from being with him? He didn’t even bother trying to fall back asleep, shakily reaching for his phone instead.
7am was not his favorite time in the morning to be woken up and he was admittedly a tad irritated but only until he saw who the wake up text was from. James. A shot of excitement surged through him; why was James texting him, especially so early on a Saturday. Curiosity fading to worry as he sensed the desperation James was harboring. He knew, without a doubt, he had to be there for James no matter what.
He knocked on the front door three times, wishing he didn’t have to go through the main house to get to James’ place. He shifted uncomfortably as a young woman answered the door, looking less than thrilled at his presence. She was beautiful with long brown hair and soft brown eyes to match. This must be James’ older sister.
“Is James here?”
She stepped aside, silently reluctant as she let him in, directing him down the foyer and to his right, to the living room. His heart constricted painfully at the forlorn expression on James’ face. It was momentarily replaced with a shining joy when he saw Kendall standing there. He launched himself off the couch and into Kendall’s arms in an instant, arms curled tightly around his neck, body flush against his.
Kendall wrapped his arms around James’ waist, holding him securely. He rubbed a soothing hand down his back as he felt the pretty boy’s body shake in his arms. James buried his face in the crook of Kendall’s neck, willing the tears to stop. He pulled away slightly, a small smile tweaking at his lips as Kendall gently thumbed away his tears. He already felt better just having Kendall by his side.
“I just didn’t want to be able today,” James confessed in a soft, barely audible whisper. “I have to spend all day with my family without my mom and no one will care that she’s not there and I can’t deal with that alone.”
“And you don’t have to,” Kendall assured him, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. And James was more than appreciative of this.
The two boys sat on the couch, sitting close enough to where their legs were touching. James was picking at a loose thread on his jeans while his family chatted casually. Kendall tried his hardest to ignore the judging stares from all of James’ family. He just focused on James and how upset he looked. He tickled James’ fingers with his own, exchanging a sweet smile with him as he glanced up. Luckily by now, the rest of the family was too busy gushing over James’ niece to notice their subtle affection. James’ attention was drawn to the new ink circling Kendall’s arm. His fingers lightly traced over the inked chain, stilling as the chain’s links broke off.
“It symbolizes freedom,” Kendall leaned over to mumble in explanation. James nodded in understanding and spent the next while tracing and retracing the broken chain, finding an odd comfort in it.
Initially Kendall thought it was just because James was ashamed of him. Then he thought that maybe James just wanted some alone time with him and that in turn made him even more nervous than before. James’ family had suggested they all go out to dinner; they’d even invited him, granted it was probably out of reluctant politeness. It didn’t matter either way because James immediately declined on their part.
Everyone else had gone, leaving just him and James, as well as James’ three month old niece. Though he’d never really admit it aloud, he’d always had a soft spot for little baby girls. Ever since his sister was born, he found himself powerless against their sweet innocence or the fact that they needed to be protected. And it surely didn’t help that this little girl had large brown eyes just like James’.
He was absolutely defenseless against James’ soft brown eyes. He watched with a fond smile as James leaned down to pick up his crying niece, cradling the little girl in his arms. He could see the panic setting in on James’ face when he couldn’t get her to stop crying. It’d be a lie if he said James didn’t look adorable, all helpless and panicky.
With a soft chuckle, he extended his arms towards James, knowing just how to quiet the baby down. James handed the little girl over, watching as Kendall instantly cradled the baby, gently rocking her. The sight was precious, to say the least. Kendall Knight, convict, holding something so innocent. It made James think for a second, solidifying what he knew deep down. Kendall was still the same boy he met and fell in love with. He hadn’t changed at all. But it wasn’t that that made him weary to return to the other boy. He was scared but he just had to learn to trust Kendall again.
James gasped in awe as his niece stopped crying and began to giggle as Kendall tickled her cheek. That wasn’t the only thing putting a smile on his face. It was Kendall’s tough inked skin contrasting to the baby’s soft, pure skin and the way Kendall’s embrace was the safest place in the world and he would never do anything to hurt this innocent little girl. He would never do anything to hurt him. Now he just had to trust himself enough to let Kendall in again and trust that he wouldn’t get hurt.
A few hours had passed and Kendall had successfully lulled his niece to sleep. He carefully placed her back in her rocker, relieved that the movement didn’t wake the baby. Kendall promptly excused himself to the bathroom, expressing a two hour need to piss. He smiled softly at the cute giggle James emitted as he left the room. After doing his business, he returned to the living room, stopping in the doorway upon seeing James talking to his sister. He felt mildly guilty but found himself listening anyways.
“Mom would’ve hated him,” he heard James’ sister say. “You can do so much better James.”
After James just rolled his eyes and shook his head, his sister left and Kendall walked in casually, as if he hadn’t just heard that. He did his best not to let his irritation show and approached the other boy, hands burning, yearning to reach out and touch the other boy. Unable to fully resist, he reached up and caressed his soft cheek, pulling away shortly after, not wanting to push any boundaries that may have been set.
He missed the days where he could just touch the other boy anytime he wanted, any way he wanted. He wanted to run his fingers through his soft hair, grip his slim hips as he kissed him passionately. Kendall shook these thoughts away, knowing they were only taunting him since he wasn’t allowed to do any of that.
“I guess I better go,” Kendall sighed because he didn’t really want to go. Just being with James was enough of a natural high for him.
What happened next surprised him to stay the least. James’ bottom lip was tugged between his teeth nervously as he reached out with shaking hands and laced their fingers together. “Can you stay with me tonight Kendall?”
“Of course,” Kendall answered, a little breathless at how close James was and at the vulnerability shining in James’ brown eyes. It was pure instinct when he leaned forward and pressed his lips to James’ forehead, a pure instinct to comfort the other boy.
Kendall couldn’t decide if it was heaven or hell that he was currently enduring. He was lying in James’ bed, stripped down his t-shirt and boxers. The covers were pulled up over them as James’ cuddled against his side. Kendall had his arm wrapped around James’ shoulder, running his fingertips up and down the other’s arm. This seemed to have a soothing effect on the brunette because his eyes were slipping shut and his breathing evened out. He was asleep less than a minute later. And this time, Kendall didn’t ruin it. This time, he stayed and this time, he fell asleep with the most amazing boy in the world asleep in his arms.
Kendall woke hours later, chest heaving drastically as he came back to reality, shaking the dream’s effects off. He’d been dreaming that James left him because he finally realized what a horrible person he was.
Typically Kendall was not one to be easily influenced by other people nor did he take their judgement to heart. But with James, it was different. It was always different when it came to the cute brunette. All his rules were broken concerning the other boy. He, for once in his life, found himself worried with his broadcasted perception. It wasn’t so much of how everyone perceived him but rather how these perceptions came back to James and influenced his perception. James’ view of him was all he cared about and he was left wondering how James could perceive him to be anything short of a terrible person with the way all his friends and family seemed to insist it was true. He was so sick of everyone’s judgment and they were finally starting to catch up with him.
Carefully, as to not wake the stunning beauty sleeping beside him, he slipped out of bed, crouching down to brush the hair out of James’ face, earning a sleepy smile from the other boy. He pulled the covers up over James’, making sure he was warm enough before leaving the room, shutting the door quietly after him.
James woke slowly, rubbing his tired eyes and noting the time on his alarm clock on his beside table. 3:17. A deep pang assaulted his heart when he saw that Kendall wasn’t lying beside him. It faded slightly when he saw the blonde’s shoes and pants still lying on his floor. He noticed the bathroom light wasn’t on but the porch light was. Snatching the blanket off the bed, he shuffled outside in his PJ pants and wife-beater. He draped the warm blanket over Kendall’s shoulder and sat down next to him. Without a word, he rested his head on Kendall’s shoulder, wrapping an arm around Kendall’s, keeping the other hand resting on his bicep.
“Please don’t leave again. Just stay,” James whispered, devastatingly desperate, like it wasn’t a request, it was more of a plea.
“I’m a monster James,” was Kendall’s only reply. He kept his head bowed as he continued. “When I think about how I killed my dad, I don’t feel regret or remorse. I don’t feel anything.”
“That doesn’t matter you a monster,” the brunette murmured softly, stroking his thumb across Kendall’s smooth skin.
“Then why does everyone hate me?” Kendall asked, looking up at James with a teary gaze.
“No one hates you Kendall,” James said softly, brushing Kendall’s hair out of his eyes.
“Logan, Carlos, your whole fucking family,” he muttered, averting his gaze from James’ once more. His next words came out as an ashamed whisper. “You.”
James titled Kendall’s gaze up to look him directly in the eyes. “I don’t hate you,” he stated with the utmost sincerity.
“Then why won’t you just be with me?”
Realization set into James’ expression. “I’m just scared,” he confessed softly, “I don’t want to get hurt again. And I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“What can I do James?” Kendall asked desperately, cupping James’ cheeks and leaning forward to press their foreheads together. His eyes fluttered shut briefly, a few tears slipping down his cheeks. “Please just tell me. I’ll do anything to have you in my arms again.”
James swallowed hard, tears shining in his own eyes at the sight of tears streaming down Kendall’s face. He reached up, gently thumbing them away. “Just give me a little time.”
Because after all, only time would tell.