what future?

[emmy_87]

this days i been wondering, why is my life not where i want it? at this age i want to be in college, possibly married, having my license, and having my own car. but none of those are in my life right now. i want to be married, i want to have my license, and have my own car. but the person i love with all my heart doesn't want to be married and doesn't even let me know if i'm beautiful or not. i know that i'm not the greatest to look at and i know that i'm overweight, i mean is when i feel like shit he doesn't say that i'm pretty and that he loves me (which i'm not saying that he hasn't said it). it's just i don't want to say it all the time to him. and i want to be his beautiful bride, but these days i have no clue. to me i feel as if not of my realitic dreams are never going to come true.

i really don't know anymore, i feel like crap when i think about this.....if there is someone out there, who can give me some advice, please let me know. it's just that i want to feel as if i'm loved and not just here for being here....cause that is what i feel like half the time.

thanks,
emily